On Recognizing Love in the Supermarket...

Today I was doing my grocery shopping. Sometimes I make this slightly mundane task more enjoyable by plugging myself into my ipod. Today was such a day.
As I cruised through the produce, "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars came on. Have you ever listened to the words of this song? I was lost in it. And I found myself in tears with this amazing realization that this is how my husband feels about me. You should try it sometime... dedicating a song to yourself from your husband. It's quite a feeling! I blamed the tears on the onions, but at the end of the day, I knew there was nothing on earth I would rather have than the man who thinks I'm amazing just the way I am. I didn't even mind crying in the supermarket, because I was overwhelmed at the thought of how much he loves me! I'm not perfect, but he's decided to love me anyway. And in spite of my imperfections, he looks at me with adoration. I'm a lucky woman.

Season's Greetings!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

from

our family

to yours!!

Happy Anniversary

Here's to the fantastic years already behind us, and the good and bad to come as well. Hopefully more good than bad, but I'm sticking around for all of it.
I am so lucky to be married to you... I love you.

Can A Sista Get A Silent Night?

'Tis the season, right? I try really super hard to not overschedule our family. Still, I feel a teense overwhelmed. There are several things that seem to demand our time and attention. The top three are:

1. Requests for donations.


Here is what we've been asked for lately, and I'm not making up one bit of this:

• juice and cookies for a class party


• candy for a class gingerbread decorating activity


• soup for a church activity


• gently used coats for a coat drive


• new toys for a toy drive


• canned food for the food drive for all 3 of my kids' schools


• hats and mittens for the giving tree


• fabric for quilts for the women's shelter


• money for the Salvation Army kettle EVERY TIME we go to the store
  
• gently used clothing for the homeless shelter
• turkeys, hygiene items, sleeping bags and instant mashed potatoes for "A Home For Christmas"

2. Activities. I'm sure you all know the drill:


One Million Christmas parties, school concerts and plays, and regularly scheduled extra-curricular activities.

3. The Christmas thing.

• Trying to ensure that everyone has an equal amount of presents while staying within my budget.


• Finding the right sales at the right times to meet the aforementioned goal.


• Making sure we don't spoil our kids, but don't short-change them at the same time.


• Christmas cards.


• Debating if we want to invite people for Christmas dinner, or try to get ourselves invited somewhere.


• Oh, somewhere in all of this, reminding everyone that it's actually about Jesus, not Santa.

I feel frustrated that in spite of the fact that people have needs year-round, we are bombarded during the month of December with requests for assistance. The guilt from Toys for Tots: "This may be the only present little Johnny receives this Christmas." I am more than happy to help out all year round, if I could just get December off. I want to find the balance between serving others and spreading myself too thin. I want to figure out how to teach my children about generosity and kindness without screaming "I SAID I DON'T HAVE ANY CHANGE ON ME FOR THE STUPID KETTLE!" A wise person would suggest we select only one cause, and focus our time and effort on that. And a wiser person would agree and follow suit. But let's take my kids' classroom. I thought "I donate items to every activity. I volunteer three times a week with the teaching. I'm skipping the gingerbread man donations." Then came the email from the teacher: "I have not received a single donation for the gingerbread man activity! Please poke around your pantries and see what you may have." My own fault, I suppose, for allowing it to become my problem at that point. But I did. I couldn't NOT help out.

Anyway. I love Christmas, I love the kindness it brings out in people. I just really wish we could spread it out more evenly across the other 11 months. I want to feel like I've purchased nice gifts for my children that don't leave me financially drained, or them feeling either disappointed or spoiled. Tips? Suggestions? What works for you in the midst of the chaos?

I'm Either In Love, Or I Want To Be Adopted...

Ohhhh...what a night. Remember back in March when we went to see Taj Mahal at the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival? Remember how much I loved it? Well we went last night, because he was in town. Our table was literally right next to the stage. I made eye contact with all 3 from the Trio throughout the entire show. Of course I gave them plenty of winks and thumbs up to let them know I appreciated their performance. I took this picture before the show, while trying to get the settings right on my camera so as not to interrupt the music with my flash. And then, horror of horrors, the emcee comes out and says "Please no flash photography... I mean actually, NO PHOTOGRAPHY AT ALL during the show." I of course planned to ignore his request, but my husband was mortified and "strongly encouraged" me to put my camera back in my bag. I didn't want to ruin our night together, so I tried to be respectful of his wishes that I be compliant to house rules, but it KILLED me. Seriously. KILLED.ME.

I swiped this picture off Google images, because it is exactly like the ones I would've taken, without even using a zoom, had I been "allowed" to use my camera. We were that close.

But because I love this man more than I love taking pictures of Taj Mahal, I showed restraint. My goal was to get a photo with Taj last night; since that didn't happen, I forced this guy to pose with me instead.

When the show was over, the Trio had to pass right in front of our table to exit. I was thrilled to be able to tell each one of the guys "GREAT SHOW! THANKS FOR PLAYING!" and have them reply with "THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, ANDREA." Well, okay, the part where they called me by name is probably made up, but in my heart and in my head, I really heard it.

Take a listen, and then go download some Taj Mahal Trio. (Taj Mahal is the singer and main guitarist. He has a bassist and a drummer, who are exceptionally talented as well, and together they form the Taj Mahal Trio.) He has won 2 Grammys, and his music is just plain fun. I have a mini-crush on him, but I'm going to settle for adopting him as my Grandpa. Then at our family reunions, I can take all the pictures of him that I want.

Eyelash Candy

Do you live in Utah? Do you want to have sexy eyelashes? Maybe even for FREEEE?

Click on my handy link and maybe you could!

It's not really my thing, but I have several friends who've had it done, and I'm not kidding you, it instantly increases your WOW factor. And if you want to make sure that you're not getting nasty rat hairs glued to your lids, then you should make sure to go to my friend Dawn. She is hygienic and professional. And she's really funny, so maybe she'll do her stand-up for you while she's working. Although that could screw up the lashes, so maybe not. Anyway, go enter for a chance to win, or just get over your cheapness and pay for a set. If you do, let me know and I'll put your hottie picture up on my blog. I know, my generosity is overwhelming.

S is for Skip

Can I just start by saying that my husband actually ASKED me to write this post? I find that a risky move on his part, but who am I to say no?

As you may or may not know, I have a little "thing" for good nutrition. Let's be honest here... I am a vicious nag about eating healthy. If you are my friend, you may have felt the sting of my condescending glare as you sipped your diet Dr. Pepper. If you are my husband... well... let's just say your life may be the equivalent of a living hell.

The man I married was raised on Manwiches and processed cheese. I get a little surge of bile in the back of my throat when I think of the foods he most wants to eat. It has been a delicate balance in our marriage to find the line between me totally dominating the pantry, and him getting to actually enjoy what we eat. Mostly, I've won. And the times when he has won have been filled with a "lack of support" on my part. I have taken every opportunity to point out the damage he is doing to his insides. His heart is probably hanging on by a thread. I've pointed out that his arteries are surely strained at best... much like useless channels running through his body. I have cursed him for cutting short our golden years together.

Guess who went to the doctor this week? And guess whose cholesterol numbers came back OFF THE CHARTS? I quickly emailed my sweet friend Robin-The-Wise to ask her for some good pointers on how to negotiate the subject with my man. I realized this was no time for my traditional approach, and I felt he might be open to a rational discussion on health and nutrition after such a scare.

Well.

He broke the numbers down for me, and as it turns out, his super high number was that of his GOOD cholesterol. The number that is SUPPOSED to be high. In fact, the doctor told him that not only was it better than most men half his age, but that it was indeed THE BEST HE'D EVER SEEN. Fo'rizzle, people. I believe there was some reference to a "Teflon coating along the inner walls of his arteries." I think the man even did a jig. Yes, a jig.

All's well that ends well, however. Thanks to Sage Robin's advice, I was able to initiate a conversation with my husband that involved rational discussion followed by receptive appreciation. We do, indeed, plan to grow old together. He is actually grateful for my nutritious efforts, and I am actually penitent for my self-righteous approach. I will say it'll be a cold day in hell we probably won't go to a completely plant-based diet as a family, but we've come to a new understanding. And it's this: He is a demi-God of some sort, and we'll all just suck it up and eat more salad.

Plus, the guy really loves me. I met up with him at the memorial the other day. I saw him first, and went to take his picture. He turned and saw me, and look how big he smiled. If he can be that happy to see me in spite of my constant nagging gentle reminders about his eating habits, then we have a good thing.

Me + Lunch = Love

I am loving my lunchtimes. I look forward to them every day. I am home alone, and I only have me to cook for. I can make anything I want, and as I stated, nobody whines about it. I have cut out meats, dairy, and excess fats. I have, however, kept seafood in. Fish is a great source of omega-3 fatty acids, which are so good for you. Plus, I LOVE it, and no one in my house really wants to eat it. Except for tuna sandwiches, which they all love. 'Splain me dat, Lucy.

Anyway. Today I seasoned and broiled some salmon. I chopped and sauteed a Fuji apple, sprinkling it with cinnamon. I sliced an avocado, and PRESTO! An absolutely delicious, healthy meal.

As far as the rest of my daily menu... for breakfast I've been eating a piece of grapefruit or a banana, some whole grain toast (yes, I do still use butter on it) and a bowl of cereal (yes, I do still put milk on it). I usually have a glass of 100% juice to wash it all down. I could benefit from more fruits/veggies at breakfast.

Snacks throughout the day are kept on the kitchen counter. They are readily available to me and my kids. I have three bowls of fruit with apples, pears, clementines, bananas and grapes. We cut up several pomegranates and kept the fruit seeds in a covered bowl on the counter. Note to self: covered pomegranate seeds should be stored in the fridge, as pomegranate wine is not so good for the children.

Dinner still includes standard American fare... meat, potatoes, cheese, sauces, etc. with cookies or ice cream for dessert. Winter seems to invite those comfort foods. But I am happy to report an increase in healthy options all around. Baby steps for me and mine. What's the best and the worst thing you've eaten lately??

Veterans Day

It rained a little here today. There was also some beautiful sunshine. Both felt appropriate. The city dedicated a memorial today to its citizens who have been killed in action. We went with Ann to honor Conrad's name on this memorial.

The ceremony was appropriate, and there was a mix of sorrow for loss, and happiness for memories. It felt good to honor and celebrate these heroes' lives.

Ann was beautiful, as always, and showed more dignity and grace than I believe I would ever be capable of. On an exciting note, she is about to become my next door neighbor. She bought a home a few doors down, and we are thrilled.

My husband is a man of amazing strength and courage. He is a stellar soldier, and I have so much respect for him professionally. He is also a good husband. He's a good husband because he works at it. I think it's easier for him to be a soldier, but he loves me enough to try and be as good a husband as he is a soldier. That's what makes our relationship solid. There's a lot of love, and we just keep trying. I won't lie- I do not want him to deploy again. The very thought of it causes a knot of fear, maybe even terror, in my chest. But I am proud of his desire to serve our country.

This is an interesting history of our National Anthem. It's one of my husband's favorite clips. It may be long, but take a few minutes and enjoy it. And please let patriotism be more than a warm fuzzy feeling you get on a few select holidays each year. Find a way to make sure it's a part of who you are.

My Big, Fat, Exciting News

Remember when I mentioned my lazy days would be coming to an end in January? I was waiting for my official acceptance, which I received today. Drumroll please...

I'm going back to school!

I'm so excited. I love school, and this is a perfect time in my life to do it. I'm getting my masters in TESOL... Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages.

The best part is, in searching for a program that met my needs, I discovered that the University of Southern California has an ACCREDITED online program. This is fabulous because not only will it offer a more challenging course than most online programs, but it looks better on my resume. Also, I can do it all in my pajamas. Which, frankly, isn't much different than my undergraduate days... but now that I'm 37, I have an image to uphold.

Anyway. I'm thrilled. My classes will be during the days while the kids are at school, and I will be able to do all of my practicum work locally. Here's to hoping my aging brain can keep up with actual thinking. Wish me luck!!

Lunch: It's All About ME!

So. I've always enjoyed a healthy menu. And by "always" I mean "ever since I got out of college and realized a pan of brownies does not a meal make." I enjoy a good sausage, a few Oreos, and a well seasoned rib eye from time to time. But truthfully, my body feels better when I eat lean and well. It seems like recently, my friend Robin has inspired many people to give "the lifestyle" a go. Call it what you will, basically it's healthy eating to the extreme. (To the extreme, I rock a mike like a vandal, light up the stage and watch me jump like a candle).

Sorry. It comes naturally.

Anyway. I have enjoyed watching many of my friends give this a try, and seeing the positive results in their lives. I, however, truly feel for me and my house, a bit of meat and dairy is still important. And yummy. So I'm unwilling to jump on board 100% with "the lifestyle." But I figured since I'm home alone every day for lunch, I would give it a whirl. This past week was my first week. I'm not looking to lose weight, I just want to keep the old system clean and fresh. So I committed to fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains, no dairy, no meat, and easy on the sugar. Here's how it went:

Monday: I put my back out early on, so I spent the day at PT getting electrocuted and massaged. Eating was secondary, and I didn't do it. Monday was a bust.


Tuesday: Here's my palette:

Basically I took all this stuff and made a sandwich out of it. I used the nice kind of ginormous whole wheat bread. I shook some salt, coarsely ground black pepper, and oregano over it. Then I splashed some olive oil and pomegranate vinegar. It was really, really good.

Wednesday: Used the same stuff, and threw it all in a bowl. I love the crunch. Pretty much it was the same thing as Tuesday, minus the bread and with more oil and vinegar. I will admit I missed the Feta I would ordinarily have used, or the bleu cheese dressing. But the stuff was still good.

Thursday: Acorn squash. I cut it in half, then baked it in the oven (350) for about 30 minutes. Then I put some brown sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon, salt and olive oil over each half and baked for ten more minutes. I scooped it all out and had it in a bowl. I used both halves, but that was way too much. It was really flavorful and extremely filling. I wasn't hungry again until supper time.

Friday: Tofu. I finally tried cooking this. I've always enjoyed eating it when prepared by someone else. But I've been nervous to try preparing it. I soaked it in soy sauce, sesame oil and mongolian fire oil. The kids were off school, so I figured it would make a nice hot lunch for all of us. I cut it into chunks and sauteed it. I served it with rice, and our favorite topping Nori Furikake. It's roasted seaweed and sesame seeds. Verdict: A big yes for Noe and I, a big no for the boys. They did not like the tofu. It was too squishy. Whatever.

Overall, I enjoyed the experience. I think I'll keep it up for a while and see if I get magically clear skin, healthy intestines, and an increase in energy level. At the very least, I'll have a yummy lunch that no one in the family will be whining about, because I'll be eating alone. HA. I feel better inside already!

Tunesday: Missing You

I love this song. I've loved it for years. There have been times when I've missed my husband like crazy. You know that feeling? When you love someone and they're not there for whatever reason, and you feel completely vacant without them? This song is a perfect description of that feeling. Plus, it's so smooth on the vocals and the melody is right on.
Don't click on the red square in the video that says "click here." It will just redirect you to another site.

My Take on Must-or-Must-Not-See TV

It's really chilly today. Raw, rainy and cold. I once got frostbite on a couple of my toes, and now if I don't make a huge effort to keep them warm, then they turn white on me and I can't feel them. This is a bad thing. So in order to prevent that from happening today, I am curled up under two blankets on my super comfy sofa, enjoying the fireplace and contemplating a nap.


I'll enjoy it while I can... it doesn't happen often, and truth be told, it's all about to change come January. Stay tuned for that news.


So what else. How about if we discuss the new fall TV shows? I'm not a huge TV watcher, but there were a few coming out this season that we wanted to try. Plus, we needed something to fill the void left by LOST. Here's my verdict on each (and for the record, B feels the same way as I do about every show but one. See if you can guess which one he disagrees with me on):

1. Hawaii Five-O: We made it through 20 minutes of one episode. What were we thinking by wasting those 20 precious minutes? I'm sure we were looking for a LOST fix since Jin is one of the leading characters. But the acting was horrible, and the entire crime was so conveniently easy to solve, that there was no point in finishing the episode. Or watching any others, for that matter. Ixnay on the Awaii Five O-Hay.

2. UnderCovers: We have seen all of the episodes of this so far. We figured it had Boris Kodjoe for me and Gugu Mbatha-Raw for Skip. That was a good call. The show itself, sadly, is a bit lame. It's predictable, cheesy, and unrealistic. But they keep teasing us with these red herrings of a subplot... so we keep tuning in. At least it's good-clean-fun, and did I mention it has Boris Kodjoe for me and Gugu Mbatha-Raw for Skip??

3. The Event: Touted as the lovechild of LOST and 24, we were promised mystery, intrigue, and compelling story lines. We've watched every episode, and have yet to have our expectations met. It's like they're trying too hard. Laura Innes is back, not as a physically disabled lesbian doctor, but as an imprisoned extra terrestrial biological entity (EB for short). It's us vs. the EB's and frankly, we are fairly incompetent. I mean, we look good doing it, thanks to some fairly attractive main cast members, but still... we pretty much don't stand a chance. Again, we are less than impressed with the acting on this one, although the storyline does have potential. We'll keep plugging along for a few more weeks and then decide if we should fire it like a useless Apprentice.

4. Modern Family: I realize this premiered last season, but it's new to us this year. I cannot get over how hilarious it is! It's politically incorrect in the most entertainingly humorous ways. It's quirky, twisted, and dare I say accurate in so many of its stories, that you can't pull yourself away from it. Plus, it's a great plug for Colombia, because if all its people are as drop-dead stunning as Sofia Vergara, well then who really cares about all the drug lords and political unrest??

5. No Ordinary Family: This is one we watch with Mika. I like it because it's appropriate for him, and it's hard to find shows like that after 8:00 at night. The premise is fun- this "ordinary" family suddenly find themselves with super-powers. The plots, while silly and at times a bit of a snooze, are at least free of gratuitous sex and violence. It's comfortable to watch, the acting is decent, and it gives my poor tween a chance to watch some nighttime TV that doesn't involve the words "documentary" or "biopic".

So there you have it. That's what we've been watching or not watching. Can you figure out which one my husband feels differently about than I do? Do you even really care? It's okay. No offense taken.

Some Happy News

Click over here to see more from a super fun daddy daughter dance, and my fabulous husband's birthday today!

Also, have I ever mentioned that Ann is supremely talented as a cake maker? And she was so kind to make this for Skip's birthday and bring it over tonight. It was a made-from-scratch chocolate cake, with whipped cream cheese frosting. It was SO YUMMY. I ate an entire piece. Thanks, Ann!!

MY BIRTHDAY GUY!! Love him more every year.

if you're reading the following post in google reader, the video clip does not show up. be sure to click over and watch it.

One Step Closer

Ann... through you, I have seen what despair looks like. But I have also seen what hope, faith and strength look like. I know Conrad is so proud of your strength. We all are.


The beginning of this video is an ad. Just wait a few seconds and it'll pass.



2 Timothy 4:6-7
"For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith."

On Grief...

The rest of Conrad's remains arrived last night. The local fire department was on hand to transport him from the plane to the hearse. It was heart-wrenching and touching at the same time.

I have been having a hard time lately wrapping my head around the idea of death. I have been stuck in a mode of grieving that I can't understand. Ever since Conrad was killed, I feel like I've been trying to come to terms with the sorrow that accompanies death. I've watched my sweet friend Ann struggle with loneliness, grief, and anger, and I've continued to feel those same emotions myself. Does it seem strange that I feel lonely in spite of spending every day with my best friend? When I go to sleep at night, I have difficulty sleeping well because I feel like if I'm asleep, I'm not with him. I am literally overwhelmed at the very thought of losing him.

I can clearly see that this is not the best line of thinking. I've talked to some friends about it, and I was surprised at how many of them worry about losing a spouse or a child more often than they consider "normal." This did make me feel a little better. Some also suggested maybe I was feeling a type of survivor's guilt. It is difficult at times to feel comfortable with my own happiness when I see my friend so devastated.

I dusted off my copy of C.S. Lewis's "A Grief Observed". If you're not familiar, after his wife passed away from cancer, he went through an intense cycle of grief, anger at God, and finally, a reawakening as to God's role in death. One of my favorite quotes is found in this work. He says,

"You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be

strong and sound

as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it?

Only a real risk tests the reality of belief."

I think that's what this comes down to for me. I have always held to the doctrine of life after death. And I have always been taught that this eternally-binding principle can bring us comfort and peace in a time of loss. Using that doctrine to cord a box has been comfortable to me for the better part of 37 years. Suddenly, however, I find myself hanging over a precipice. And my rope seems to be an unsteady lifeline. I don't doubt the validity of Heaven, of God or of His love, but I seem to be struggling with the reality of finding peace throughout grief. I understand it's a process, and I may not be very far along just yet.

It is indeed a risk to believe that if I were to lose my husband, God could provide any semblance of peace for me; and truly this tragedy is testing the reality of my belief. Faith, however, is the sustaining force of my cord at this point. I am relying on this cord in the hope that when all is said and done, this changing reality of my ideas will prove only to strengthen the rope with which I must both bind my beliefs and hang my challenges .

Tunesday: You Are

It's been awhile. I actually forgot about my Tunesdays. Can you believe? I know, the horror. This song came out TODAY, and I have already loved it a million times over. I even made a dvd for my man with a bunch of our pictures set to this song. I owed him an apology, and that seemed like the best way to say it.
I already featured another Charlie Wilson song... remember "There Goes My Baby" in which we watched Snoop display his softer side? Anyway. Uncle Charlie let me know that this was out today (along with a few thousand of his other fans) but I appreciated the personal message, and I downloaded it right away. I added it to my after-hours playlist, and I thought repeatedly today how much I love my husband. Marriage is hard. There may be a few of you out there who find it to be smooth sailing. I do not. But the good stuff is so, so, SO worth the hard stuff. When you find someone who can really be your reason to love, then you got a good thing. Baby... we got a good thing. I love you!!

Enjoy his rich vocals, download this song, and then go love on someone who's given you a reason to love.

If I Could Maybe Be Someone Else... I Might Pick Her.

My friend is awesome. She used to be my roommate in college. She is level-headed, grounded, kind, driven, and insanely creative. She's the kind of person I NEED for a friend, since I can be a bit more type A. Anyway... her name is Dawn. I would post pictures of us from college, but that wouldn't be nice for either of us. Good times, good times... bad photos, bad photos...
She is in the throes of a new goal: run 12 marathons in 12 months. She has been featured on the tv news and in the paper there in her state (UTAH), and I'm super proud of her. Go to her blog
and read about her, and then talk to whoever you know in Utah (you know that you know people...) that would be willing to sponsor her in her efforts. Who owns a sports store? A health food store? A gym? Personal training company? Flip through your mental roladex of peeps and figure out who would be a candidate, and then pass her name and website along. Follow her blog, even if you despise running, so that her numbers go up along with her chances for sponsorship.

Just Some Stuff...

So. We're making progress on the house. Well, we made a lot of progress 2 months ago when my parents were here. Since then, we've kind of stagnated. But still. Progress was made once upon a time...

Like in the man cave. I will say, my man was manly when he included a few Celtics covers in with his beloved Lakers. It was a trade: I'll bring him buffalo wings and cream soda during football games if he hangs Larry Bird up. Excellent.
Oh, and yes, that's a leg lamp. It's Italian.



In the end, we decided not to put Noe and Sam in the same room. The room was too small and the female drama was too big. So this is Noe's room. My mom and I picked out this fabric for the curtains to go with the bedding (the bedding: $149 at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Same set at Ross: $49.00. I know.) Anyway, my super duper handy mother whipped up these adorable curtains. We got the bed at Direct Buy. Get this: The bed retails for $1200. It has drawers on the bottom for clothing, and the whole bottom pulls out for a trundle. We signed up for the free 30 day trial membership, and got the bed for ONE THIRD of that price. I KNOW! I was dying too.
*Perfectionist disclaimer: Pardon the junk on the window sill. And Noe makes her own bed.




Lastly, we had General Conference this weekend. Here is a page from the notes that Noe took:

Frankly, I can clearly see that this is Elder Eyring speaking into the microphone. And do you notice the background? Very accurate. I sort of feel like I'm parenting a prodigy. Of course, I'm not. Not by a really, really long shot. But let's all play along, mmm'kay?

The History Of Rap

I am proud to say I could have done this entire number myself. Who's up for being my sidekick??

Good Stuff

This is all the news around here today. Of course I cried like a baby just watching the clip. Why is it so rare to find kids that are good-hearted anymore? In the monotonously tiring world of self-centered, self-absorbed kids that seem to surround me, this is refreshing and worth passing on. Ike Ditzenberger has Down Syndrome. He's also got the ball...

Sexy as a Sasquatch

So I've been thinking a bit. Mostly about shaving my legs. I have a few things to share.

First of all, can we discuss the discrepancy between an unshaven man and an unshaven woman? I mean, check this picture out:

That guy is sexy, right? The rough, rugged look of whiskers coming through his chiseled jawline? Yummy. Now imagine the reverse:

The rough, rugged look of whiskers coming through her shapely legs? Barbed wire. Steel wool. Nasty. No one wants to even THINK about it, forget experience it. My fabulously sexy husband shaves his head every day. I am less vigilant about my legs. I mean, I'm no Sasquatch, but daily shaves? Ain't happenin. And yet... I am fairly mortified if anyone catches a glimpse of my stubbly legs, while my aforementioned fabulously sexy husband could conceivably skip a day or two and still look... well... fabulously sexy. As a matter of fact, I would daresay that his skipping a day or two would actually enhance his fabulous sexiness.

I feel like there's a conspiracy against women. Let's move on to my 2nd point, shall we? Razors for women, vs. razors for men. For the sake of this frugal and practical woman's debate, we will discuss only disposables. Have you seen what's out there? Check out the men's section, and then compare it to the women's. First of all, they have TWICE as many to choose from. And not only do they have more to choose from, but they have WAY better choices. Observe:

The grandaddy of all razors. The new Gillette Fusion. My man wanted to try this, so I bought it for him. He tried it, and then spent the entire day rubbing his head and singing its praises. "Never had a smoother shave!" "Wow, this may be my closest shave EVER!" "Babe, feel my head! What a shave, huh?" And here's where I make a confession. The next day, standing in the shower staring at my stubbly legs, my gaze was drawn to the Fusion, hanging there on his side of the caddy. I am not even kidding you, the thing said, "Try me, Andrea. Just try me." Of course, I looked over at my baby-blue Venus, checked the fading moisture strip, noticed some stray hairs stuck in the blades, and thought... "Well, I would like to see how close of a shave I could get..." So I did it. Yes, I know. This isn't even something one should confess to their clergyman, far less publicly on their blog. My husband doesn't even know about this little indiscretion yet.

But ya know what? WHAT A SHAVE! When I finished, I looked down and I swear to you I was standing on two sticks of butter. BUTTER, I tell you! I am now going on day 3 since my foray with the Fusion, and I barely have stubble. Can you explain that to me? And where is the women's equivalent of this depilatory machine?

Why is it so much more work for a woman to maintain a certain level of sexiness than it is for a man? Marketing conspiracy theory, that's what I say. All I know is it's kind of a bummer I wasn't born a Sasquatch. Seems like a win-win to me.

Rubbin Me the Wrong Way...

I sent this email to my friend today, and my former massage therapist. As you may know, I get regular massages to help with the laundry list of back problems I have. Yes, it sounds divine, and it is, but I'd gladly give up scoliosis, stenosis, arthritis, herniated discs and hypermobility in exchange for not needing the massage. anyhooo... I've been trying to establish a new provider here. I figured I'd start with physical therapy, so I can also develop a new workout program. Here's what my email said:
so i mentioned to you that my PT is ed asner, right? about 5'5", no neck, 2 chins, very large ears, and probably 64 years old. reeks of old spice. thank you, tricare, for this outstanding referral.
i went in today for my 2nd visit, the one where we're done discussing my history and we get to work. mr. ed asner did a decent job of hooking me up with some core strengthening exercises, and a few good stretches. then ed asner told me we would be doing some soft tissue manipulation. GREAT! it's the only way i can get the insurance company to pay for my massages, which i desperately need. so let's call it soft tissue manipulation and get on with it.
ed asner asks me to lie face down on the freezing cold, rubber-padded table. sure, no problem ed. but i'm fully clothed, and wondering where this is going. ed asner then moves my shirt up... okay, no problem. gotta get to my soft tissue somehow, right? ed asner then UNHOOKS MY BRA. no joke. i was like WHOA THERE, EDDY! back up off a sista! but no, i'm mature, i figure this is just fine. he didn't want me to actually undress, so this is logical. then ed asner puts refrigerated massage cream on my back. "is it cold in here?" ed asks me. "try to relax." relax? sure. no problem. there's an overhead radio in the room, and guess what song starts bumping while ed asner massages me? YEAH... l'il john. oh i'm in the zone now baby. ed asner does not have the hands of a massage therapist. ed asner has the hard, rough, calloused hands of a 64 year old man. they do not feel good on the soft, virgin skin of my back. WE WANT A LADY IN THE STREET BUT A FREAK IN THE BED! thank you, l'il john, for helping me through this awkward moment. ed asner is finished manipulating my soft tissue now, so he hooks my bra back up for me. how's THAT for service! i threw some coins in his tip jar on my way out.

Getting the REAL Story...

So maybe you've read this story by now. I can hardly stand it. This woman calls herself a sports reporter. I use the term loosely. Let's put all the cards on the table right up front, shall we? She's an attractive woman. She has a smoking hot body, she's blond, and she has perfectly straight, white teeth. Her assets are all well stocked, and frankly, we can't hate her because of that.

Here's the thing. If she wants to be a sports reporter, her physical appearance shouldn't really keep her from doing so. But if she wants to be taken seriously, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say THIS is not the way to accomplish it:

Yeah, she was doing a story on the before and after of a particular GNC supplement, right? Right. Ms. Ines Sainz is the kind of woman that causes even the most secure wife to tighten her grip on her man's arm. (Maybe almost as tight as that tape measure...) I have a lot of respect for legitimate female sports reporters. They are clawing their way through a man's world. They have a passion for sports, and they can hold their own with most men in a serious discussion. I never really feel like Hannah Storm or Cheryl Lewis are slipping players their number on the side. I feel like they are thrilled with the game, and want to tell me all about it in their coverage. In all fairness, I have never heard Ms. Sainz cover a sporting event. But if this is how she shows up dressed for work, I'm guessing her "coverage" is fairly limited.
I'm not saying it's ever okay to sexually harass anyone, for any reason. But I AM saying that if you roll around in crack cocaine for awhile, some junkie somewhere is gonna try and smoke you. If this woman wants to be a respected sports reporter, she should dress in a professional manner, and quit flirting with the players.

Where was the team management when this woman showed up at the locker room? Who bothered to step in and say "hey, we need a dress code here." Better yet, why are reporters, male or female, even allowed inside a locker room? This situation was brewing from the get go, and I feel the management is just as much at fault for allowing her into the locker room as she is for walking her unprofessional self up in there. I can't wait to see where this one goes... and what she wears should she get her day in court. I'm betting for one day, the label says "Liz Claiborne" instead of "Applebottom."

CALLING ALL UTAH HOTTIE WANNABES

My friend Tristan has recently returned to the workforce. She is quite handy with the makeup brush and styling tools. If I lived near her, I would choose her to do my hair. And I would also choose her to do my makeup if I ever had anywhere to go where I wanted to look hot and sexy.

ANYHOOO... if you live in Utah, check her out. Here's her latest promo:



And if you tell her Andrea sent you, she'll throw in a complimentary hug. No kissing though. We want to keep it professional.

Professional Chit Chat.

So. I'm slowly getting started doing some photography in the new town. Sometimes I feel weird when I say "Oh, I'm a photographer! I'd love to do your newborn shots!" Because, really, am I? I'm actually a teacher. That's where I find my professional identity. I feel like I'm more of "someone who happens to own a camera" than an actual, certifiable "photographer." Anyway. I did just that... I met a cute pregnant couple and told them those exact words, and after the baby was born recently, they contacted me... and here's a few of the highlights. Now maybe she'll end up in my 2nd grade class one day, and validate me again professionally.

*And p.s. Yeah, she just gave birth. And could she look any more fantastic? I literally jaw dropped when she walked in the room. If I hadn't seen her pregnant, I wouldn't believe it.