Only the Coolest Gift EV-ER!

My Christmas was a bit of a fizzle. I'll skip the details, because who wants a big old whine coming off the heels of the holidays? Not to mention, there was this one really amazing, actually breathtaking moment that trumps all the poo-poo. And that is the moment I will share with you.

So our five year anniversary was recently. I'm not a big gift giver/receiver for anniversaries. I just feel like it's more stuff cluttering up my home and my life, and I'd much rather go out and do something with my man. Clearly, however, that wasn't an option this year. But would you please check out this gift???:

It came in a small wooden crate.


I slid open the cover, and found inside a glass bottle, with a message printed on the outside which read, "It doesn't matter where you go or how much you acquire. It's who you have beside you that really matters." Pretty impressive that my man knows how to say, "I know you don't really like presents, but whatever. This year you're getting one and you're gonna love it."


A small, round piece of shell hung from the neck, with the logo etched into it. The detail was amazing.


The cork-stopped bottle was filled with rose petals. A fine silver strand of ribbon stuck out from within, where it held a tightly bound piece of parchment.



Penned on the parchment (well, probably printed by an HP laser printer, not really "penned"... but I digress.) were some expressions of sentiment so simple and yet so moving, that I had to react quickly to prevent my tears from ruining the gift.


I am quite certain that the burden of gifting is now forever lifted, as this could never be topped. We peaked at five years, so from here on out it's dinner and dancing.

I had no idea I was capable of loving a man so completely, so unconditionally, and with so much of who I am. Whenever I express my feelings for him, though, I feel like I need to make sure people understand that it's not all roses all the time. We disagree, we argue, and occasionally we fight in an ugly way. We roll our eyes in irritation, we shake our heads in confusion, we tolerate things we wish we could change. Our marriage is a work in progress, but without a doubt, a labor of love.

Go do something nice for the person you love. That little effort won't fix all your problems, but it will make you more willing to work at them. You will feel more grateful to have that person in your life.

I love my husband.

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

It's that time. Holidays. I have sort of been dreading them this year, for obvious reasons. I determined early on to look for the good, and focus on the positive. I truly have not had to look that hard. The generosity, support, and love from friends and family has been amazing. From our Secret Santa coming every night, to the many packages sent to Afghanistan; from phone calls to emails to texts just dropping a line to see how we're doing; from the many prayers offered on our behalf to all the friends who know how to make me laugh: we have been blessed.


Our opportunities to communicate have been limited lately, due to insane schedules on both ends, and crummy internet. Last night, we finally got to catch up for a bit, and when we were done, I laid in bed and cried. Our marriage is not perfect, but it's really solid. We are great friends, and I never doubt our love. This week was our five year anniversary, and I just missed him.


I have noticed that for every difficult moment I have, I seem to be afforded twice as many positives. After my pity party last night, and later on today, I had a really fun time trading old photos and stories, and "watching" the Pats game on FB with some of my best friends from college. These guys kept me in line when I was younger, and all turned out to be top notch men now. You guys are one in a million, thanks for being there. I hope circumstances find us meeting up in the future... I want you all to meet the man who tamed me. :O)

THEN:


NOW:

If that wasn't enough, I went to my mailbox today and found this little surprise:
*Thanks to the lovely and talented LisaMarie for this necklace which I will wear a lot. A simple yet empowering message, which I have chosen to believe is true.

Lastly, this cat loves me. We still haven't named her, but she basically just wants to be by me all the time. And you know what? I LOVE IT. We cuddle, we hang out, she purrs, and I feel relaxed. I am so glad we decided to keep her.

I miss my husband with an ache in my heart that nothing can fill. But I continually feel the outpouring of good in my life, which dulls that ache and gives me strength to check one more day off the calendar. Thank you, to all who are dear to me. Much Love, and Merry Christmas.

My Current Top Ten: The Double Edged Sword Edition

I am feeling all energetic and zippy today. And when I feel like this, it's always fun to make a list. So today's list is going to be regarding the Top Ten Things That Currently Annoy Me But Still Make Me Laugh.

1. The codependent relationship my cat is developing with me. Funny thing is, though, the "co" part in "codependent" is misleading, as I do not feel the need to watch her shower, lay in her lap 24-7, nuzzle my nose in her neck while she is studying, or mew sadly when she leaves the room.

2. People on Facebook who post or mass message saying, "Message me your address if you want a Christmas card!" Really? No offense to all of you who have done that to me. But do you stop to think how that makes the recipient feel? "I don't really care enough about you to private message you and ask for your address, but while I'm at it, why not give me a nice ego stroke and ask me to send you a Christmas card, so I know how badly you want to hear me brag about my kids." I'm just sayin.

3. Stupid soldiers. Stupid soldiers, and there is indeed such a thing, are the ones who perform their jobs poorly and put my husband in a bad mood and increase his workload. You're all stuck over there in that hell hole, why not just do your job, do it well, make it easier on one another, and then come home.
*This one annoys me, but doesn't make me laugh.

4. Elf on the Shelf.

5. Oatmeal raisin cookies. It's annoying because could there be a bigger letdown? You get a plate of cookies, they smell delish, you take a bite, and there's no chocolate and barely any sugar. For real? It's funny because they're cookies, and you have to laugh because if you get angry at cookies, you have bigger issues than disappointing flavors.

6. Oddly packaged toys that I have to wrap for my kids this Christmas. Think: basketball in half a box, hexbug arena, anything Nerf. The annoying is obvious, as I curse at the torn paper, oddly folded corners, excessive tape, and hideous end result. Why is this funny? Because wouldn't YOU laugh at me if you were watching? Yes. Yes you would.

7. Occupiers. People who invade public spaces, use them as toilets, beds and eateries all at once, and act as if they are passionate for a cause are ANNOYING. They are funny, however, because have you heard them speak? Way to be educated on what it is you’re even doing there…

8. Kardashians.

9. Coach bags. Annoying, because who the hell cares? Funny, because now I can laugh at you for being pretentious.

10. And let’s bring it full circle… back to the cat. Watching her scratch her neck while wearing her cone. The constant click of her claws on the plastic… annoying. But seeing her think that sooner or later, she’ll get the itch? That’s kinda funny.

So there you have it. I've discovered that if you laugh at things, you can often prevent them from weighing you down. So let's all whistle a little Bobby McFerrin and revel in the insanity.

A Peek at Reality

So things have been a little hectic lately. Not overwhelmingly hectic, but I think with the holidays approaching, my tolerance has dropped a bit. I feel a teeny nagging sadness in the back of my head, not wanting to be without Skip for Christmas. This makes me much more short tempered with my kids' bickering. It also makes me feel less motivated to keep up with the mundane tasks around my house. Here's what things look like:

1. Christmas threw up in my living room. I got out the ornaments, and asked no one to touch them, so they could stay tucked nicely in a box until I had time to put them up. Of course that didn't work, the temptation was too great... the two youngest unwrapped all of them, put about 7 on the tree, and left the mess all over the couch, chair, and living room. This was 6 days ago. It's still like this.


2. The project that will break me. My daughter entered a contest at school to design and create an outfit made out of paper. She submitted her design, and to her credit, she was one of 20 selected from 300 entries. The bad news is, how realistic is it that an 8 year old can single-handedly transfer her idea from drawing to reality? So we have been piecing and sewing brown paper bags together. I am not the mom that enjoys these types of projects with her kids. I would rather do it all myself. It's time consuming and frustrating to work with someone who doesn't do it as well as I do. And who isn't as mature as I am. Or who is maybe more mature than I am...



3. My laundry is multiplying exponentially. It never goes away. It never, ever goes away. At least I finally got to the post office to mail those presents you see on the ground. But if you're with me on FB, you already know how that worked out.

4. The kitchen is possessed by demons. For real. The demons come in, leave crumbs, syrup, peanut butter, pistachio shells, grated cheese, and dirty dishes all over. In my normal life, I don't like this and get after people who do it. In my current life, I just try to avoid going in the kitchen as much as possible.

So there you have it. Maybe the upcoming 2 week break from school will give me a little extra time to catch up on things like breathing, cleaning, and dealing with the deployment. I've put those things on hold for the past little while, and now they've caught up with me. Curses.

So. Funny Story...

So as you may or may not know by now, there was a stray in the neighborhood. It was a young, fairly nice looking cat, and my neighbor took pity on it and set up a little box on her porch because it's a bit chilly out. She, however, is severely allergic to cats, so keeping it was out. She spread the word in the neighborhood, and while I felt a twinge of pity for the poor thing, I was certain we didn't want it.

Apparently, I was alone in my thinking on that one. Last Saturday, I was studying in my room while the kids were in and out playing with friends. After a few hours, I came downstairs, and what did I find?


Does this more or less resemble a cat bed to you? As well it should. My daughter, in her 8 year old heart of generosity, set up a bed with towels and an umbrella in the garage. She had fed the cat a can of tuna and a bowl of milk. For real.

So what was I supposed to do now? Really. I wanted to know. So I put it up on FB, and was blown away at how many people told me to keep it and name it. I thought it was a joke. Nooooo... no joke. I conceded, just for the weekend. The shelter was closed, and it was cold out. So we went and bought a disposable litter box, and some Kashi cereal real cat food, and let the thing hunker down for the weekend. My daughter took great care to organize Daddy's garage as follows:

So the weekend passes. What happens? Everyone decides the cat is awesome. A few people even help clean up its litter box. Whaaaaat...??? No lie. Monday rolls around, and the shelter is still closed. By Tuesday, I'm tired of buying disposable litter boxes. So I take the cat to the shelter. My man and I have talked back and forth all weeekend about maybe, possibly, why don't we consider, here's a wild and crazy idea, keeping the cat. I run this by the woman at the shelter, just on a silly whim. She is all in favor of the idea. She tells me she has to post the cat for 48 hours to see if anyone claims it. At that point, we can come back and adopt the cat.

Which we do.

Of course it needs to be spayed, so we leave it over the weekend. It gets all its shots and other important things done, and returns to us wearing the cone of shame. We pick it up, and suddenly, just like that, we are now the owners of the cat. Since it has the cone, it can't go through the pet door we are going to install, so we have to keep the cat in the downstairs bathroom. So my bathroom looks like this: (*please note happy child)

Also, the downstairs bathroom is off limits for HUMANS. Cats can use it all they want, but apparently, WE cannot:

She is actually a lovely cat. She is very affectionate, mellow, and so far, obedient. She needs a name. But at least now she has a home... because I am a SUCKER generous and loving mom.

A Night To Remember

What a night! As you probably know by now, our family loves music. None of us can sing, but my husband used to be a good trumpet player, and I used to be a good pianist. Now, however, our sole exposure to music comes through listening to other people perform. We're all pretty much okay with that.
We're big fans of jazz music. We have several jazz playlists, and the kids will often choose one to listen to while we're eating supper. If you've been my friend or read my blog for any length of time, you'll know how much I love Taj Mahal. The first time I saw him was with my husband at the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival. I fell in love. Then we went again, last year, when he came to Jazz Alley. And of course, you will remember the time I swore I met him, and he paid for our dinner...
All have been fantastic experiences.

Well. Here's one more for the vault. I check Jazz Alley's postings regularly, to see who may be coming to town. I haven't since the man has been gone, because who am I going to go with?? But on a whim, I checked a couple months ago... and saw Taj scheduled. I thought about it, and decided this would be an awesome first concert to take my kids to. If they are going to look back, I want their early memories of music to include more than Katy Perry or The Biebs. I want them to love the classics, know the history, and appreciate it. I want them to one day go out on a date, and judge the person by how deeply they connect to good music. Yes, I'm manipulating my children. And I'm not ashamed. I can't have future sons or daughters in law who don't know who Taj Mahal is.

So here we are. At Jazz Alley, excited beyond words. And what the kids don't know at this point is that they have a little more surprise in store.

I think if you can talk to people, 9 times out of 10, they will want to help you out. So I talked to people. And here's how that worked out:


Oh yes. We just hung out with Taj Mahal for a bit before the show. It was so neat. He was gracious and friendly, and instantly fell in love with my kids' Polynesian names. He started speaking Pidgin to them, and the boys' eyes just lit up. They do love the Samoan side of their family.


They did pretty well during the show. About 40 minutes into it, they got tired and crabby, and started whining. I, of course, handled it with grace and finesse. And by "grace and finesse" I mean "anger and resentment." I hissed at them to knock that crap off, because I put out good money for these tickets and they had better sit up and appreciate this experience. Funny, it didn't work. What DID work, however, was Taj singing "Fishin' Blues" which happens to be one of their favorites. They sang along and perked right up. Fortunately, the show ended a few numbers later, because they were past their bedtime and done being mature.

At this point, we had bought a cd to send to my man. The kids wanted to get it autographed, so I said, "Go for it!" They went to the top secret after-the-show-Taj-hangout, and he was so happy to see them, he let them hang out for awhile while he played them a Hawaiian song on his ukulele and sang for them. I chatted with the drummer for a bit, who had just come back from visiting his granddaughter in Germany, and was loving how much my daughter favored her. They were a great group of guys, and the whole experience was amazing. When he sang Queen Bee (my very favorite song), I closed my eyes and just felt the music, and remembered how lucky I am to be married to a man who can rock me to my soul.

In case you're wondering, I did tell him about the time I was almost certain he bought us dinner. He laughed out loud, and said, "Huh. I wonder!" And that was that.

I'm secretly happy to let it go on being one of our family's great mysteries.