WHY? you ask. WHY?

I grew up in an old New England home. We had a cellar. We stored canned food down there. Sometimes, my mom would send me down to get stuff. This is how I felt about that:We’ve come a long way since then. You may or may not be familiar with the LDS church’s teachings on Food Storage. You can learn far more than I could teach you by clicking here.

However, I am going to attempt to teach you a few things. Not all in one post, mind you; you can’t establish a food storage all in one fell swoop… so why try to learn about it like that?
If you think storing food is a practice for religious zealots awaiting the 2nd coming of Christ, maybe you should rethink. When I first got divorced, I worked at Bath and Body Works making $6.00 an hour. It took me 3 months to find a teaching job. In that time, I lived off of my food storage. The kids and I weren’t eating steaks every night, but we had a balanced meal on the table three times a day. In this day and age, with poor job security, financial strain, and plenty of natural disasters, it only makes sense to me to be prepared to take care of your family. And personally, government programs are great, but I prefer to take care of my family myself. I know I’ll do a better job.

We’ve been advised that a good place to start is with 3 month’s worth of food. Take a look at where I stand on that:
You can see I have some work to do. We could live for about a week or two off of what we have now.

Call it pride, but if it came down to lining up at the soup kitchen with my children in tow, or sliding open my pantry door and fixing something myself- I'd take the latter in a heartbeat. And I'm not foolish enough to think that it could never happen to me. So to all you naysayers who don't want to hear about food storage... I'm not sharing my rice OR my pasta with you.

Next up: I tackle the beast.

On Beastie Boys and Food Storage...

Remember when Mike D had a little story to tell? It is my opinion that the entire tale of woe now known as “Paul Revere” could have been avoided with one simple prevention: food storage.

Look with me, if you will. First of all, things started off all wrong. The King Adrock had nothing but a horsie and a quart of beer. Where was his water? We all know if you’re going to ride across the land, kickin up sand, you should take water. Not beer. There are lots of ways to transport and store water. We’ll get to those eventually.
Who does Adrock run into, but MCA. And what is MCA’s first complaint? Four days on the run, and that he’s dyin of thirst. MCA got himself into a little snaggle. Some unexpected adversity hit. Did he have a few cans of tuna, or maybe even chili to fall back on? No. He had nothing. His voice was hoarse, his throat was dry. He had to go to someone else for a sip. There are lots of things MCA could’ve thrown together in a 72 hour kit… but we’ll get to that later as well.
The two travel on. They’re hungry, they’re thirsty. They come to The Spot. You would think at The Spot, they would take advantage of their opportunities to replenish their supplies. Pick up a few items for now, a few for later. Store something up for a rainy day. But NOOOOOOO… not these beastie boys. What do they do but get themselves mixed up with Mike D. Next thing you know, hands went up and people hit the floor. And we all know what happened to the two kids who ran for the door.
And so it ends. The three boys set off to travel the land once again, with nary a bottle of aqua fina to their names. Did they think about the future? Did they set something aside for the next fearful catastrophe? No.
Mike D grabbed the money.
MCA snatched the gold.
Adrock grabbed two girlies, and a beer that’s cold.

They will get hungry and thirsty all over again, and thus the vicious cycle of famine induced loot-n-riot will continue.

So. If you’re interested, for the next month I will be updating and replenishing my food storage. And until I’m finished, I am limiting myself to blogging solely about this topic. Doesn’t that sound FUN!? Stay tuned.

Divorce Can Be Tough

I went through a divorce. It was excruciating. I never wish that kind of pain on anyone. Or their avatar...

TOKYO: A 43-year-old Japanese woman whose sudden divorce in a virtual game world made her so angry that she killed her online husband's digital persona has been arrested on suspicion of hacking, police said Thursday.
The woman, who is jailed on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data, used his identification and password to log onto popular interactive game "Maple Story" to carry out the virtual murder in mid-May, a police official in northern Sapporo said on condition of anonymity, citing department policy.
"I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry," the official quoted her as telling investigators and admitting the allegations.
The woman had not plotted any revenge in the real world, the official said.

She has not yet been formally charged, but if convicted could face a prison term of up to five years or a fine up to $5,000.
Players in "Maple Story" raise and manipulate digital images called "avatars" that represent themselves, while engaging in relationships, social activities and fighting against monsters and other obstacles.
The woman used login information she got from the 33-year-old office worker when their characters were happily married, and killed the character. The man complained to police when he discovered that his beloved online avatar was dead.

Seriously.

Whoooo Are You? Who-Who, Who-Who?

So. Thanks, Katie for showing me how to put a picture of my computer screen up. And I'm feeling your pain, so here goes...

Here's the deal. If you make a public blog, people you don't know are probably going to read it at some point. I use sitemeter to see who is reading my blog. At first I used it to satisfy my ego. Then it became more of a security thing. Now, it's just plain confusing.

Here's my statistical suspicion:
40% of the people who read my blog are people I didn't know before blogging, but have since met and become friends with.
15% of the people who read my blog are people I knew before blogging, who have been my friend in REAL LIFE.
45% of the people who read my blog are people I don't know, and who don't leave comments.

That means the majority of the people who read my blog are spies. I kind of think that's weird. I mean, I get that people don't have time to comment on every blog they read. But I think it would be cool if you were going to read someone's blog regularly, to at least pop in and say "HEY! I read your blog. I probably won't comment much, but just wanted to introduce myself."

So... Michigan, Kansas, Dallas, North Carolina (not you mom, dad or jen...), Georgia, Tennessee, South Carolina, Driggs Idaho, and all the random places in California and Utah... WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE??
And the one that I insist step forward is Mr. or Mrs. Dayton Ohio, using the Air Force ISP... you read me a lot, you have read me for awhile... do I know you?

I have made a rule for myself that I will not read any more blogs than I do right now. I have 34 on my reader. About 25 of them post regularly, and that is a lot of blogs for me to keep up on, especially with the one free hour a day I seem to have. So I get that blogging can become overwhelming and obligatory at times. But throw a sista a bone over here! You don't have to comment on every post I put up... but at least tell me you're reading about my life. Tell me you're not a creepy pervert stalking my family. Tell me I won't find you on a registered creepy freak list.
Please.

If Only...

Strap on your seat belts. The ride of a lifetime will now be revealed.

1. At least I got to enjoy plenty of time with my husband. False

The man told me "support" was "encouraged" from families. Take a look at this picture for a minute:

Yeah. That's about as long as I saw him too.

2. At least the weather was fantastic. False

See the rain all over this kid's face and hair? 24-7. Sometimes howling winds, sometimes torrential downpours...
3. At least we got to go to the beach. True

You can only sit in the hotel room and feel sorry for yourself for so long. Besides, it's just water. Think of it as a cleansing shower from Mother Nature. Or a pain in the A... whichever works.

4. At least my car didn't break down in the middle of a rainstorm on some obscure highway. False

Um, yeah. It did. I was driving, and then I wasn't.

5. At least I didn't have to wait 2 hours for a tow truck. False

Two hours on the side of the road in a rainstorm with three children. The car smelled so fresh I wanted to bottle the essence and bring it home to spritz around the house and remind us of the good times.

6. At least no one had to pee in a Gatorade bottle. False

And I am so sorry to say, but there is actually a picture for that. And I'm even sorrier to say that I made my kids go on the side of the road, but as for me... no way in hell. That would be totally embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as posting a picture of your own tinkle on the Internet.

7. At least the tow truck was huge and cool, and the kids loved riding in it. True

The guy's rig was $140,000. It was so high tech. There was a ton of room inside, and the thing was pretty amazing. If you're into huge, powerful, expensive trucks. Note my kids running with anticipation to go get in. We even saw a rainbow once we were buckled in. It brought beauty and hope into our day. Well, not really. But whatever.

8. At least the tow truck driver was clean cut and not scary. True

The guy was like 25 years old, and looked a lot like this guy here. He even still had braces. His goal was to change the image of the towing industry. I'll give him credit... he was pretty upstanding.

9. At least there were no used rubber gloves lying on the floor of the tow truck, probably left over from a previous murder. False

Before I deemed Mr. TowTruck Driver safe, I checked out the interior of his rig. I found this frightening sight. However, I watched Mr. TTD, and he DID actually wear them under his utility gloves to hoist the car. But they COULD'VE been from a murder. Except he turned out to be upstanding.

10. At least we didn't get stranded in a hotel for the weekend, since all repair shops were closed. False

We totally got stranded.

11. At least my husband was able to pick us up on his way home late Sunday night, so we got back in time for school and work on Monday. True

But as you can imagine, I was so done taking pictures at this point. I had now spent a total of ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY HOURS with my kids. Not even a five minute break. Sleeping together, eating together... not quite the "family bonding time" you envision.

12. At least I didn't have to leave my car at a body shop with a note pinned to it, like a baby abandoned on the doorstep of a church. False

Bye-bye little van. Someone out there will take better care of you than I can.

13. At least it's not still there. False

Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?

14. At least I get to drive ten hours with my cool husband to go pick it up this Friday. True

Is it sad that this will be our official date night this month???

15. At least it won't cost me $4,000 to get it fixed. False

The stupid van isn't even worth $4,000 anymore. And I cannot discuss this fact any further, because things happen to me when I do... like ulcers, and muscle spasms, and violent fits of rage...

So there you have it. My fabulous weekend. Believe it or not.

As for a winner... I originally posted that there were 4 truths to be found. Being a bit brain dead right now, there turned out to be 5. I had to change the original post after some people had already commented. So some people only guessed 4, some guessed 5. No one guessed all 5 correctly, but I did say you only had to guess 4 correctly. Tiffany, Lisa, Jeni and Liz all guessed at least 4 correctly. If you really want that prize, I've got a few used rubber gloves here with your name on them. I'll get them right out to you.

At Least...

Last week I took my kids down to the Oregon Coast to watch Skip's cadets participate in Ranger Challenge. To say the trip was uneventful would be a total and complete lie.
Five of the following statements are true. You decide which five:

1. At least I got to enjoy plenty of time with my husband.
2. At least the weather was fantastic.
3. At least we got to go to the beach.
4. At least my car didn't break down in the middle of a rainstorm on some obscure highway.
5. At least I didn't have to wait 2 hours for a tow truck.
6. At least no one had to pee in a Gatorade bottle.
7. At least the tow truck was huge and cool, and the kids loved riding in it.
8. At least the tow truck driver was cleancut and not scary.
9. At least there were no used rubber gloves lying on the floor of the towtruck, probably left over from a previous murder.
10. At least we didn't get stranded in a hotel for the weekend, since all repair shops were closed.
11. At least my husband was able to pick us up on his way home late Sunday night, so we got back in time for school and work on Monday.
12. At least I didn't have to leave my car at a body shop with a note pinned to it, like a baby abandoned on the doorstep of a church.
13. At least it's not still there.
14. At least I get to drive ten hours with my cool husband to go pick it up this Friday.
15. At least it won't cost me $4,000 to get it fixed.

Probably on Wednesday I will post the results. With pictures. Oh yes, with pictures. See if you can guess 4 out of the 5 true statements above, and I'll have a prize for you by early next week.
B, you can't play.

(In the light of recent plagiarism gripes, let me just say that while writing this post, I vaguely recalled one similar to it I read this summer. And I am so not wanting to be a plagiarizer, that I actually went back and looked up that post so I could give proper credit. Sorry it's not in APA format. What can I say, Christie... great minds think alike!)