Only the Coolest Gift EV-ER!

My Christmas was a bit of a fizzle. I'll skip the details, because who wants a big old whine coming off the heels of the holidays? Not to mention, there was this one really amazing, actually breathtaking moment that trumps all the poo-poo. And that is the moment I will share with you.

So our five year anniversary was recently. I'm not a big gift giver/receiver for anniversaries. I just feel like it's more stuff cluttering up my home and my life, and I'd much rather go out and do something with my man. Clearly, however, that wasn't an option this year. But would you please check out this gift???:

It came in a small wooden crate.


I slid open the cover, and found inside a glass bottle, with a message printed on the outside which read, "It doesn't matter where you go or how much you acquire. It's who you have beside you that really matters." Pretty impressive that my man knows how to say, "I know you don't really like presents, but whatever. This year you're getting one and you're gonna love it."


A small, round piece of shell hung from the neck, with the logo etched into it. The detail was amazing.


The cork-stopped bottle was filled with rose petals. A fine silver strand of ribbon stuck out from within, where it held a tightly bound piece of parchment.



Penned on the parchment (well, probably printed by an HP laser printer, not really "penned"... but I digress.) were some expressions of sentiment so simple and yet so moving, that I had to react quickly to prevent my tears from ruining the gift.


I am quite certain that the burden of gifting is now forever lifted, as this could never be topped. We peaked at five years, so from here on out it's dinner and dancing.

I had no idea I was capable of loving a man so completely, so unconditionally, and with so much of who I am. Whenever I express my feelings for him, though, I feel like I need to make sure people understand that it's not all roses all the time. We disagree, we argue, and occasionally we fight in an ugly way. We roll our eyes in irritation, we shake our heads in confusion, we tolerate things we wish we could change. Our marriage is a work in progress, but without a doubt, a labor of love.

Go do something nice for the person you love. That little effort won't fix all your problems, but it will make you more willing to work at them. You will feel more grateful to have that person in your life.

I love my husband.

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

It's that time. Holidays. I have sort of been dreading them this year, for obvious reasons. I determined early on to look for the good, and focus on the positive. I truly have not had to look that hard. The generosity, support, and love from friends and family has been amazing. From our Secret Santa coming every night, to the many packages sent to Afghanistan; from phone calls to emails to texts just dropping a line to see how we're doing; from the many prayers offered on our behalf to all the friends who know how to make me laugh: we have been blessed.


Our opportunities to communicate have been limited lately, due to insane schedules on both ends, and crummy internet. Last night, we finally got to catch up for a bit, and when we were done, I laid in bed and cried. Our marriage is not perfect, but it's really solid. We are great friends, and I never doubt our love. This week was our five year anniversary, and I just missed him.


I have noticed that for every difficult moment I have, I seem to be afforded twice as many positives. After my pity party last night, and later on today, I had a really fun time trading old photos and stories, and "watching" the Pats game on FB with some of my best friends from college. These guys kept me in line when I was younger, and all turned out to be top notch men now. You guys are one in a million, thanks for being there. I hope circumstances find us meeting up in the future... I want you all to meet the man who tamed me. :O)

THEN:


NOW:

If that wasn't enough, I went to my mailbox today and found this little surprise:
*Thanks to the lovely and talented LisaMarie for this necklace which I will wear a lot. A simple yet empowering message, which I have chosen to believe is true.

Lastly, this cat loves me. We still haven't named her, but she basically just wants to be by me all the time. And you know what? I LOVE IT. We cuddle, we hang out, she purrs, and I feel relaxed. I am so glad we decided to keep her.

I miss my husband with an ache in my heart that nothing can fill. But I continually feel the outpouring of good in my life, which dulls that ache and gives me strength to check one more day off the calendar. Thank you, to all who are dear to me. Much Love, and Merry Christmas.

My Current Top Ten: The Double Edged Sword Edition

I am feeling all energetic and zippy today. And when I feel like this, it's always fun to make a list. So today's list is going to be regarding the Top Ten Things That Currently Annoy Me But Still Make Me Laugh.

1. The codependent relationship my cat is developing with me. Funny thing is, though, the "co" part in "codependent" is misleading, as I do not feel the need to watch her shower, lay in her lap 24-7, nuzzle my nose in her neck while she is studying, or mew sadly when she leaves the room.

2. People on Facebook who post or mass message saying, "Message me your address if you want a Christmas card!" Really? No offense to all of you who have done that to me. But do you stop to think how that makes the recipient feel? "I don't really care enough about you to private message you and ask for your address, but while I'm at it, why not give me a nice ego stroke and ask me to send you a Christmas card, so I know how badly you want to hear me brag about my kids." I'm just sayin.

3. Stupid soldiers. Stupid soldiers, and there is indeed such a thing, are the ones who perform their jobs poorly and put my husband in a bad mood and increase his workload. You're all stuck over there in that hell hole, why not just do your job, do it well, make it easier on one another, and then come home.
*This one annoys me, but doesn't make me laugh.

4. Elf on the Shelf.

5. Oatmeal raisin cookies. It's annoying because could there be a bigger letdown? You get a plate of cookies, they smell delish, you take a bite, and there's no chocolate and barely any sugar. For real? It's funny because they're cookies, and you have to laugh because if you get angry at cookies, you have bigger issues than disappointing flavors.

6. Oddly packaged toys that I have to wrap for my kids this Christmas. Think: basketball in half a box, hexbug arena, anything Nerf. The annoying is obvious, as I curse at the torn paper, oddly folded corners, excessive tape, and hideous end result. Why is this funny? Because wouldn't YOU laugh at me if you were watching? Yes. Yes you would.

7. Occupiers. People who invade public spaces, use them as toilets, beds and eateries all at once, and act as if they are passionate for a cause are ANNOYING. They are funny, however, because have you heard them speak? Way to be educated on what it is you’re even doing there…

8. Kardashians.

9. Coach bags. Annoying, because who the hell cares? Funny, because now I can laugh at you for being pretentious.

10. And let’s bring it full circle… back to the cat. Watching her scratch her neck while wearing her cone. The constant click of her claws on the plastic… annoying. But seeing her think that sooner or later, she’ll get the itch? That’s kinda funny.

So there you have it. I've discovered that if you laugh at things, you can often prevent them from weighing you down. So let's all whistle a little Bobby McFerrin and revel in the insanity.

A Peek at Reality

So things have been a little hectic lately. Not overwhelmingly hectic, but I think with the holidays approaching, my tolerance has dropped a bit. I feel a teeny nagging sadness in the back of my head, not wanting to be without Skip for Christmas. This makes me much more short tempered with my kids' bickering. It also makes me feel less motivated to keep up with the mundane tasks around my house. Here's what things look like:

1. Christmas threw up in my living room. I got out the ornaments, and asked no one to touch them, so they could stay tucked nicely in a box until I had time to put them up. Of course that didn't work, the temptation was too great... the two youngest unwrapped all of them, put about 7 on the tree, and left the mess all over the couch, chair, and living room. This was 6 days ago. It's still like this.


2. The project that will break me. My daughter entered a contest at school to design and create an outfit made out of paper. She submitted her design, and to her credit, she was one of 20 selected from 300 entries. The bad news is, how realistic is it that an 8 year old can single-handedly transfer her idea from drawing to reality? So we have been piecing and sewing brown paper bags together. I am not the mom that enjoys these types of projects with her kids. I would rather do it all myself. It's time consuming and frustrating to work with someone who doesn't do it as well as I do. And who isn't as mature as I am. Or who is maybe more mature than I am...



3. My laundry is multiplying exponentially. It never goes away. It never, ever goes away. At least I finally got to the post office to mail those presents you see on the ground. But if you're with me on FB, you already know how that worked out.

4. The kitchen is possessed by demons. For real. The demons come in, leave crumbs, syrup, peanut butter, pistachio shells, grated cheese, and dirty dishes all over. In my normal life, I don't like this and get after people who do it. In my current life, I just try to avoid going in the kitchen as much as possible.

So there you have it. Maybe the upcoming 2 week break from school will give me a little extra time to catch up on things like breathing, cleaning, and dealing with the deployment. I've put those things on hold for the past little while, and now they've caught up with me. Curses.

So. Funny Story...

So as you may or may not know by now, there was a stray in the neighborhood. It was a young, fairly nice looking cat, and my neighbor took pity on it and set up a little box on her porch because it's a bit chilly out. She, however, is severely allergic to cats, so keeping it was out. She spread the word in the neighborhood, and while I felt a twinge of pity for the poor thing, I was certain we didn't want it.

Apparently, I was alone in my thinking on that one. Last Saturday, I was studying in my room while the kids were in and out playing with friends. After a few hours, I came downstairs, and what did I find?


Does this more or less resemble a cat bed to you? As well it should. My daughter, in her 8 year old heart of generosity, set up a bed with towels and an umbrella in the garage. She had fed the cat a can of tuna and a bowl of milk. For real.

So what was I supposed to do now? Really. I wanted to know. So I put it up on FB, and was blown away at how many people told me to keep it and name it. I thought it was a joke. Nooooo... no joke. I conceded, just for the weekend. The shelter was closed, and it was cold out. So we went and bought a disposable litter box, and some Kashi cereal real cat food, and let the thing hunker down for the weekend. My daughter took great care to organize Daddy's garage as follows:

So the weekend passes. What happens? Everyone decides the cat is awesome. A few people even help clean up its litter box. Whaaaaat...??? No lie. Monday rolls around, and the shelter is still closed. By Tuesday, I'm tired of buying disposable litter boxes. So I take the cat to the shelter. My man and I have talked back and forth all weeekend about maybe, possibly, why don't we consider, here's a wild and crazy idea, keeping the cat. I run this by the woman at the shelter, just on a silly whim. She is all in favor of the idea. She tells me she has to post the cat for 48 hours to see if anyone claims it. At that point, we can come back and adopt the cat.

Which we do.

Of course it needs to be spayed, so we leave it over the weekend. It gets all its shots and other important things done, and returns to us wearing the cone of shame. We pick it up, and suddenly, just like that, we are now the owners of the cat. Since it has the cone, it can't go through the pet door we are going to install, so we have to keep the cat in the downstairs bathroom. So my bathroom looks like this: (*please note happy child)

Also, the downstairs bathroom is off limits for HUMANS. Cats can use it all they want, but apparently, WE cannot:

She is actually a lovely cat. She is very affectionate, mellow, and so far, obedient. She needs a name. But at least now she has a home... because I am a SUCKER generous and loving mom.

A Night To Remember

What a night! As you probably know by now, our family loves music. None of us can sing, but my husband used to be a good trumpet player, and I used to be a good pianist. Now, however, our sole exposure to music comes through listening to other people perform. We're all pretty much okay with that.
We're big fans of jazz music. We have several jazz playlists, and the kids will often choose one to listen to while we're eating supper. If you've been my friend or read my blog for any length of time, you'll know how much I love Taj Mahal. The first time I saw him was with my husband at the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival. I fell in love. Then we went again, last year, when he came to Jazz Alley. And of course, you will remember the time I swore I met him, and he paid for our dinner...
All have been fantastic experiences.

Well. Here's one more for the vault. I check Jazz Alley's postings regularly, to see who may be coming to town. I haven't since the man has been gone, because who am I going to go with?? But on a whim, I checked a couple months ago... and saw Taj scheduled. I thought about it, and decided this would be an awesome first concert to take my kids to. If they are going to look back, I want their early memories of music to include more than Katy Perry or The Biebs. I want them to love the classics, know the history, and appreciate it. I want them to one day go out on a date, and judge the person by how deeply they connect to good music. Yes, I'm manipulating my children. And I'm not ashamed. I can't have future sons or daughters in law who don't know who Taj Mahal is.

So here we are. At Jazz Alley, excited beyond words. And what the kids don't know at this point is that they have a little more surprise in store.

I think if you can talk to people, 9 times out of 10, they will want to help you out. So I talked to people. And here's how that worked out:


Oh yes. We just hung out with Taj Mahal for a bit before the show. It was so neat. He was gracious and friendly, and instantly fell in love with my kids' Polynesian names. He started speaking Pidgin to them, and the boys' eyes just lit up. They do love the Samoan side of their family.


They did pretty well during the show. About 40 minutes into it, they got tired and crabby, and started whining. I, of course, handled it with grace and finesse. And by "grace and finesse" I mean "anger and resentment." I hissed at them to knock that crap off, because I put out good money for these tickets and they had better sit up and appreciate this experience. Funny, it didn't work. What DID work, however, was Taj singing "Fishin' Blues" which happens to be one of their favorites. They sang along and perked right up. Fortunately, the show ended a few numbers later, because they were past their bedtime and done being mature.

At this point, we had bought a cd to send to my man. The kids wanted to get it autographed, so I said, "Go for it!" They went to the top secret after-the-show-Taj-hangout, and he was so happy to see them, he let them hang out for awhile while he played them a Hawaiian song on his ukulele and sang for them. I chatted with the drummer for a bit, who had just come back from visiting his granddaughter in Germany, and was loving how much my daughter favored her. They were a great group of guys, and the whole experience was amazing. When he sang Queen Bee (my very favorite song), I closed my eyes and just felt the music, and remembered how lucky I am to be married to a man who can rock me to my soul.

In case you're wondering, I did tell him about the time I was almost certain he bought us dinner. He laughed out loud, and said, "Huh. I wonder!" And that was that.

I'm secretly happy to let it go on being one of our family's great mysteries.

No News is Good News...

...and what I mean by this, is that there is very little on the news that is good. Here's what I saw when I logged on to my Yahoo tonight:

1. Apparently, Kim Kardashian loved her wedding ring so much, that she put a clause in the pre-nup stating that she could buy it from her man in the event of a divorce. The bummer is that she clearly has an overpaid, incompetent lawyer, because by virtue of the marriage alone, the ring was hers after the I-Do's. Shoot. Good thing she probably has the 2 mil lying around to throw Kris's way.



2. Tracy Gold struggled with anorexia during her Growing Pains career, and she's opening up about it.


Again.


I'm pretty sure after the Lifetime Television for Women Movie is made about your life, it can no longer qualify as "news."








3. Angelina Jolie has doubts about her parenting skills. I'm going out on a limb and saying "most moms do." But I also have to say that until you've fired all the nannies, chefs, housekeepers, accountants, drivers, and other people who do the mom duties for you, that you can't really feel inadequate at something you've not really ever done.




4. The Republicans are trying really hard to find a better candidate than Mitt Romney. People are confused by this. Let me break it down for you. The Republicans are heavily backed by the Sobas (Southern Baptists). It's no secret that they basically abhor the Mormons. I have some good friends who are Sobas, but we absolutely cannot discuss religion. They don't believe I am Christian, and this baffles me. They are good people, I am a good person. We can have a friendship but religion can't be part of it. This policy does not apply to the political party. They are so afraid to see a Mormon in office, that they are grasping at any other possible option. That's my spin on it. Maybe I'm wrong. But probably not.



5. NBA players who jumped ship during the lockout and went to China to play ball are finding that their contracts over there are... gasp!... BINDING. Wow. That sucks. Ni hao, Beijing.






6. Kate Gosselin is tackling face-lift rumors. OH.MY.WORD. I absolutely cannot believe that anyone cares! What did she have, like 8 kids? That's 8 more reality TV shows down the line where we will likely still be discussing said rumors. This is why I seldom watch TV. Although... her before and after are pretty drastic, and make me think I could get on board with a celebrity style makeover. Minus the part where they strap my eyelids and temples back behind my ears with an under-the-skin wire.




7. J-Lo took her new boyfriend to the beach. Her 24 year old back-up dancer boyfriend. My good friend Ann is 24. Sometimes, when I am with her and her same-age friends, I feel like the mom. I find Cougarism unsettling in its creepiness. I'm pretty sure the back-up dancer boyfriend finds it out-of-this-world awesome, and will ride that gravy train as far as he can. Now there's a relationship with potential. Just ask Ashton.







So that's it. The newsmaking headlines of November, 2011. Aren't you glad you tuned in??

Hello? Is This Thing On??

I feel like my blog posts have been mostly obligatory of late. Life seems to be hurtling by at breakneck speed, and updates are based on something significant happening that I feel like sharing. I miss the mundane drivel that once dominated this page.

I'm finishing up my 3rd semester. I have some free time today, a complete rarity. So how about we update with absolutely nothing important? It would be a welcome break, anyway, writing about something (or nothing, as will be the case) that won't require APA formatting and a potential grade. BRING IT!

1. My man is doing well. As you can see, he manages to maintain his sexy in spite of the warzone. So glad I married him. If you are interested in Christmas care packages for him, or for some of his soldiers who are less-blessed, let me know. I have info available.

2. My daughter recently wrote about him for Veterans Day. Her essay said, "I love my Dad but sometimes he eats a lot of junk food. Junk food is unhealthy and I hate it." My man felt I was brainwashing the child. I am sure I have no idea what he's talking about.

3. My son is 13. This year, girls have started to call and text him a lot. A LOT. I find it annoying. He generally seems to enjoy it. What the hell??

4. I had to pop into Victoria's Secret the other night to redeem my latest coupon. I had my 10 year old son and his friend with me, and gave them strict instructions to wait on the bench outside the store. Let's face it, VS is no place for little boys. While rifling through the unmentionables, I feel someone lurking nearby. Oh... whattaya know. It's The Boy and his friend. I look at them, and The Boy says, "Nice place!" To which his friend replies, "You're not kidding!" I repeat... What the hell???

5. My healthy eating has been waylaid by not-much-eating. I am busy, and unmotivated to cook or eat, and am really missing all those fresh fruits and veggies. I mostly eat toast. I need my dietary mojo back.

6. Modern Warfare 3. Let's discuss. I do not buy M rated games for my kids. I ask them not to play them at friends' houses, but I'm not an idiot. I know they do it anyway. My oldest is begging me for MW3. I watched it played the other day, and you can turn off all the "offensive" content, so that you're shooting people without cursing or blood. Does this make it better? I'm torn. I mean, Duck Hunt was about shooting, right? Space Invaders? Shooting. Asteroids? Shooting. Waterguns. Nerf Guns. Cap Guns. Boys shoot things. It's what they do. So am I being too rigid here? Should I allow the game??

7. My hair is getting super long. I am slightly obsessed with it, in a completely narcissistic way. I'm growing it out until my man comes home. I'll trim it to keep it healthy, but unless I start to resemble Rapunzel, then I see no reason to cut it.

8. This year for Christmas, my extended family is doing World Vision's animal gifting. (Read about it here). It's pretty amazing how far a couple hundred dollars will go. I hope the kids really feel satisfaction in giving, rather than resentment at not receiving. They still get gifts from parents and others; just between my parents and my brother's family, we pool the gift money and donate somewhere. I'm not sure how to help the kids be less self-absorbed in the bigger picture. I'm hoping the animals will be a tangible reality.

So that's about it right now. Looking forward to Thanksgiving with My Lisa. Totally avoiding holiday shopping this year... this will likely come back to bite me in a few weeks, but I just don't have the drive for it. Can't I just give everyone some cash and call it good? Meh.

Oh, one more thing. I'm having issues with my cell phone. So if you feel like I've been ignoring you, while it's true that I may actually have been ignoring you, it's also possible that my phone is preventing me from returning your communication. So whatever helps you sleep at night... go with that.

Peace out, kimosabes.

A Double Dose of Awesome

So this is pretty awesome. My oldest son had his football banquet this past Saturday night. I have been looking forward to it, because they had an undefeated, championship-winning season. He played with some really good boys, and had a solid coach. I took lots of pictures this season, and for the banquet made this slideshow. You don't have to watch it, because you'll probably be really bored by it... but if you're family, The Boy is #20. Only, if you're family, you'll probably hate my music. My love for LL and Public Enemy has never been reciprocated at home. So mute it. (you have to type in lions as the password)


But here's the thing... the night before the banquet, I heard Anthony Hamilton was going to be doing a cd signing here locally. At the last minute, I decided to go, because I really love his music. I waited in line, and when I got up there to meet him, I immediately liked him. He was so down to earth, friendly, and easy to talk to.




The next thing I knew, it was the night of the football banquet, and I suddenly had this last minute choice to make... the concert or the banquet. I chose both. I left the banquet early and got to the concert late, but I got to do both. And not only did I get to go to the concert, but our seats were FANTASTIC. Figured they would be, since they were compliments of Mr. Anthony Hamilton himself. During the show, he came down off the stage, stopped right in front of us, and sang for a bit. It was so much fun. I think I smiled the entire show. So much soul-stirring, body grooving music, outstanding back up singers, a killer guitarist, great company (love my girl!), AAAAANNNDDD....as if all that wasn't enough...

we got backstage passes.

Indeed.

Again, he was very easy to talk to, and it was fun to talk a little bit about music I love with a performer who is so much a part of it.

(yeah, the boots made me look like I was straight outta the WNBA next to him. without the boots, you can see in the first picture, we were the same height. oh well.)

Anyway. Congrats to my son for a great season, and for being willing to give his mom a much needed night out. Life is really good.

Now go download some Anthony Hamilton, and keep an eye out for his new album, which will be released in time for the holidays! WOO!

Working the Meeting

I've mentioned in the past that I have a child who struggles behaviorally. This same child is also the first to offer a helping hand, reach out to someone in need, and display compassion and love. But something in his brain prevents him from always being able to regulate his behavior. I worry that my amazing, remarkable child will be lost to everyone else by his sometimes offensive and defiant behavior. School has been a struggle this year; between the deployment, and other personal family issues, he has not performed "optimally" across the board.

After a few too many phone calls home, it became apparent to me that we needed to all get on the same page. I called the school, scheduled a meeting with all the necessary parties involved, and figured I had this thing on lockdown. Then, the night before, I had a nasty dose of anxiety. What if I cried through the whole meeting? What if they thought I was a bad mom and this was all my fault? They certainly wouldn't be the first. What if they decided they had done all they could? What if we were all just out of ideas? What if they judged me as being incompetent, and realized I would never be a good potential hire in this district? What if we failed my son?? And how in the world would I have the strength to discuss such important issues without my husband's hand to hold?

Here's how it all went: just fine.

I realized a lot of important things today. If you ever have to deal with the school on your child's behalf, consider these points:

1. Always assume the school is on your team. Even if they have approached the situation differently from how you would have liked in the past, assume they have your child's best interests in mind, and are willing to work with you. This will be true more often than not.

2. Establish your own support system. Reach out to friends who have done this before. Throw up a Facebook post asking for support. Work with your spouse, as best as your situation allows, to map out your game plan. Focus on the positive things that people believe about you, because it will allow you to more clearly believe that positive results are possible.

3. Stack your deck. Reach out to counselors, doctors, and other specialists who work with your child. Invite their expertise as part of the process. They can provide missing pieces in the puzzle you are all collectively working to solve. Have them in attendance, or on speaker phone, or have them provide you with a write up of their observations and recommendations.

4. Dress the part. If you show up looking like you don't care, that may be how you are perceived and prioritized. Dress for success is more than a trite cliche. It says that details matter to you, and that you take the situation seriously.

5. Don't discount your experience as a parent. You work with your own child day in and day out. You have seen what works, and what doesn't. You know what motivates them and what sets them off. Be forthcoming with that information, but don't be confrontational. Sometimes, it can feel easy to point fingers at those you feel aren't doing a good enough job with your child. While there is always room for improvement, people are generally doing the best they can.

6. Draw up a game plan before the meeting's end. Be sure to answer the questions

• What specific issues are we targeting?


• Who will work directly with my child?


• How will we monitor the progress?

Sometimes this will be done through an IEP or a 504 plan. I am still debating whether or not this is the right approach for us. But if not, treat it almost as if it were such. Write down the specifics, and keep on top of it over the following weeks.

A big thank you to all my friends who reached out and said "You got this, Andrea." And of course, my husband, who made every effort to be present (hello, speaker phone!) and hold my hand... there is no one else I'd rather have on my team. You are one in a million. I know we will modify and revisit as we go on this, but we have a great principal, teacher, and other staff who I believe truly want the best for my child. There is a lot of reassurance in that.

TWENTY

So this past weekend, I went to my 20th high school reunion. We held it at Gillette Stadium, home of the New England Patriots. Oh, and the Revolution, but who watches soccer?

To say I had fun is an understatement. I have to say that at every turn in my life, God has placed HILARIOUS, witty, sharp people in my path. I have really amazing friends.

Here is what I think most people can expect from a successful reunion:

1. The girls will have aged far better than the guys. No offense guys. The number of fit women will far surpass the number of fit men. The number of bald heads will also be greater for the males than the females. phew!

2. Getting together with some friends before the reunion for din-din is a good idea. It will help put you all at ease, making the transition into the actual reunion much smoother.

3. Some people will get drunk. They will say really funny things that make you laugh. They will then repeat those same things for 2-3 hours, at which point you will transition from laughing WITH them to laughing AT them. You will still love them dearly, and not judge, because that's what friends do. But you will make fun of them on Facebook the next day... which is fine, because they are probably already making fun of themselves. Either way, you will find a renewed appreciation for your religious restrictions if you have any.

4. You will realize how much you under appreciated many people's talents in high school. You will be thankful that you grew up a bit, because the ability to blow the saxophone while people pay you, or discuss nuclear rocket science, or any other such talent that seemed "lame" in high school, will now be something you slightly envy.

5. People usually marry well. Meaning it will be pleasantly surprising how many spouses you find yourself enjoying. Even still, you will probably be glad your spouse didn't come, because if they don't know anyone, it can be a long, lame night listening to you reminisce with strangers. Plus, more people came without their spouses than with, thus making it additionally lame for the spouse who doesn't know anyone, because there aren't even many other spouses with whom to commiserate.

6. Dan and Steve will always, ALWAYS be able to make you laugh. And in spite of them still behaving like teenagers, they will be remarkably gentlemanlike and keep your glass filled all evening. You will love seeing how they turned out. And Amy Mahtin will still have the most unappreciated sense of humor in the world. All three of them will make you laugh so hard that you have to sit down or cross your legs or massage your aching face.

7. After about ten minutes of thinking "Wow. You look so different." You will suddenly realize, "Wow. You look exactly the same." It's a strange phenomenon, but you will totally experience it.

8. All of the things that mattered so much in high school no longer exist, and it is remarkable how much you can enjoy talking to people you haven't seen in twenty years. The night will not seem long enough.

9. Your dearest friends will still be your dearest friends. You have kept in touch with them for a reason, and spending time with them always reminds you just why.

10. If you decide to continue the party at a club for which there is a cover charge and a line to get in, you may want to reconsider. Your ability to continue the conversations will be hindered by really loud music, and you will realize that it is, indeed, past your bedtime.

I think in spite of the massive undertaking it is to plan a reunion, it should be done every five instead of every ten years. There are good times to be had, and at least in this case, fabulous people to see. Much thanks to everyone for a much needed night out, and a seriously wicked good time.

An Observation on Single Parenting

I've done a lot of "real" single parenting in my time, as well as "parenting-while-the-husband-is-gone" parenting. There is a difference, because when you are a true single parent, you have no one to lean on for emotional support in raising your children. When you are a geographically single parent, you can at least call your spouse and lay guilt trips on him when you need to vent.

Here's my observation on kids who come from a house without a dad around:

Generally speaking, they are a total pain in the ass.

I get it. We're all adjusting, coping, managing, doing the best we can with our situation. But these little demons are so stinking relentless! I consider myself a pretty resilient parent. I am diligent in applying my Love and Logic skills, and usually find fair amounts of success in meeting my goals.

But when the male presence is gone from the house? We all fall to pieces. I am impatient, intolerant, and irritable as a parent. They, in turn, are disobedient, lazy, and seriously annoying. Sure we have our good moments. I'd dare say we actually do a fairly decent job most of the time. But every couple of weeks or so, it's like we hit a snag. And the hits just keep on coming.

Photographic metaphors may help:

I lead my children. I like them to walk beside me, smiling, as I tell them all the important things they need to know. They should be generally willing to do this. Did I mention the smiling? There is an overall harmonious tandem. This is what I seek after.

Instead, it sometimes feels like this:

Observe my son, under a pile of human determination. I kinda feel like this... my kids are very determined to keep their rooms messy, avoid doing their homework, slack on their chores, and wear dirty clothes as often as possible. I am at the bottom of the determined heap, knowing I should cast off a few bodies, but lacking the wiggle room to do so.

Then I get these bursts of motivation and positivity. My son made a fabulous tackle here, and stopped a touchdown. I look at my kids as being the opposing team. I have to stop them from scoring. Bad approach to parenting? Perhaps. But it's every man for himself right now.

And here's my other son, blocking a guy much larger and slightly stronger than he is. I'm outnumbered by these kids. It's 3 to 1. The odds are not in my favor. But if you know how to execute the moves properly, size need not prevent you from winning. I have not quite figured out how to do this, other than grabbing on for dear life and pushing back. This usually comes in the form of irritated yelling.

So there you have it. I have tumbled from my parenting pedestal. I used to be good. Now, I'm only good when things go my way. When the kids try to take advantage of me being by myself, they kinda win. I mean, I win in the end because I scream til they obey, or I hide their things to make them feel remorseful. But it's a cheap victory.

Half of My Heart

Today was a tough day. We're doing remarkably well... we're very, very busy with both boys in football, school starting back up for me, and also I've taken a little job substituting. It's all really great, and keeps us so busy we don't have time to be lonely. But there are off days, and today was one. All I want right now is to lay down in the arms of my husband, knowing that there's nowhere else either of us would rather be. He is such a good man, and I am lucky to be loved by him. I'm so in love with you, baby...

This Is It. The Final Destination. You May Now Move Freely About The Cabin...

Does this look a teeny tiny bit like paradise to you? As well it should. The plane took me from Atlanta to Boise, Idaho. Once there, I met up with Ms. Ilene, who is a gem, and we headed north to THE CABIN.

THE CABIN is owned by Robin, and she graciously invited us to spend some time up there. By us, of course, I mean the people you see in this picture:

Paige, Kristen, Kimberly, Tristan, Ilene, Sally, Robin, Celia and Me.

I have gotten to know these women over the past four years or so, and have turned to them for advice, a listening ear, and a good laugh. They have come through repeatedly. A few of us are missing here, and I know we would've had even more fun had they been able to come. That's saying a lot, because we had a really, really great time.

This river runs right alongside the cabin. It was restful, quiet, and the weather was perfect. We ate so much delicious, fresh food, enjoyed the campfire, and got a little crazy playing games.

One of the highlights for me was white water rafting. I've never done it before, and I'm not a great swimmer. As it turns out, the life vest is a very simple solution. And mockery is a very effective motivator. No one was going to let me get away with chickening out, and in the end, I was grateful.

Tristan is a cosmetologist. (aesthetician? hair stylist? make up guru? You can check out her work here and then figure out what to call her.) So she did makeup on everyone, which seems funny when you're out in the wilderness to put on a full face of makeup. But we knocked the local town dead when we showed up in our camping attire and hottie faces to their local production of Singin' In The Rain.

We are all very different from each other, and come from a variety of places. But such a diverse group of women really have a lot to offer one another, and I am so grateful for their friendship.

The sad part of this post is that my camera was dying, literally, and so I didn't get as great of pictures as I'd have liked. I'm now getting a new camera, which should come this week, and I'm happy about that.

So that's it, folks. One of the most amazing summers a woman could possibly ask for. I still feel edified by it all, able to tap into more positive energy than usual. Like tonight, I yelled at my kid. Then a little while after, I actually felt BAD! So I went back for a do-over.

Phew. Here's to hoping it gets me through the year to come. I can't say thank you enough to all the friends and family who opened their homes to me this summer, who have both loved me AND liked me, and who have reminded me that life is really pretty awesome.