this is all i have to say

(well, and i'll also say I LOVE THE RED SOX!!!!)

the down side of satin sheets for your birthday (PURELY HYPOTHETICAL!)

1. running and jumping on the bed will send you hurtling against the closest wall. (think slip-n-slide)

2. rough, dry feet make noise comparable to nails on a chalkboard.

3. any other blankets you may want to use will slip right off.

4. a chipped fingernail will snag and leave unsightly marks.

5. drool marks on pillow cannot be hidden.

6. any non-traditional positions become circus acts.

7. while the "shimmer" from the full moon at first appears romantic, by about 3:am, it's more of a glare.

(here's someone who can enjoy the satin sheets)

how many spankin's am i throwin down 2nite?

TODAY IS HIS BIRTHDAY!!!

if you know me, you know i have a 364 day countdown every year until my birthday. so who do i marry, but mr. who-cares-about-birthdays. perhaps out of sheer fear, he does remember my birthday and celebrates accordingly. but his birthday is like an afterthought. although, deep down, i can't imagine ANYONE not wanting a fuss made on their birthday. i'm sure i could be wrong, but since i'm always right, then probably not.

anyway. we've been celebrating birthday week- a gift a day, coupled with a lunch date.

monday was a new "after hours" mix cd

tuesday was tamales, refried beans and rice

wednesday was a big glass jar of mike and ikes

thursday i framed a brazilian pictures and hung them on the wall in his office. i also brought brownies into his class. and there will be a new set of satin sheets on our bed tonight.

it's been great. i'm so glad he was born! i figured i'd throw out some little known facts that may surprise you about this really great man i married:

1. he is an extremely talented trumpet player.

2. he has literally saved men's lives before... more than once.

3. he refuses to eat most vegetables, or anything from the ocean.

4. he has been to twice as many foreign countries as i have, which is a lot.

5. he is one of the few who can go toe to toe with my mother in sports debates.

6. he is a shadow puppet master.

7. he once broke a bone running away from his mother. he was actually running across the rooftops in his neighborhood, and eventually had to jump down. he's lucky he broke the bone himself, she may've broken more than one.

8. he has cheated death more than any human being i know.

9. not only does he have a great scrabble vocabulary, he has killer scrabble strategies.

10. his dream is to own and rebuild an old corvette. dreams are nice.

my husband is great. he is fun, smart, talented and good-looking. he is working on being patient and i admire that more than i can say. he shows me he loves me, he's willing to work through our differences, and when we disagree, he never gives me the silent treatment longer than 24 hours. he even reads my blog without coercion.

skip is my best friend. i love him, and being married to him is the greatest blessing in my life.

oh HELL yeah!

it's sox vs. rox now. mr. thornton... could i interest you in some red sox apparel for your children?
check out all the highlights of the best team ever and make sure you bring your big papi celebration goggles to the world series.

operation: entertain me

skip is at UofOregon for a few days, leading the cadets in ranger challenge. i feel like a lost puppy. i'm trying to keep myself busy, but frankly i've run out of things to do. here are the top 10 things i've accomplished so far:

1. i helped oprah give dave a sponge bath. (surprisingly, not as kinky as it sounds)


2. i got ellen's dog returned to her hairdresser's kids, sans violence. why can't we all just get along?


3. i volunteered to be brittany's parenting coach during her weekend visit w/sean preston and jaden. (she's doing much better, BTW, and we are now BFF's)


4. i popped into fenway to drop off a new necklace for josh beckett. (i think there was a horcrux in that other one he's been wearing.we should see an improvement)


5. called joe torre to see if he wants to be my kids' new manny. he turned me down because he's holding out for the yankees to make a better offer.


6. i went to bible study with paris hilton. new mantra: god is hot.


7. took nicole richie out for a hamburger. i convinced her "it's for the baby".


8. i helped mitt romney do his hair. (that was all day thursday)


9. i tried to resurrect they might be giants' career by posting the video of "birdhouse in your soul" on youtube under "hot new releases"


10. i helped al gore polish his new grammy award.

anyway. i'm exhausted, but still lonely. wonder what else i can come up with in the next 24 hours. wish me luck.

ovenmitt may get the sobas: political ramblings

skip emailed me a very interesting article today about my favorite republican presidential candidate. the long and short of it explained that this guy, mark demoss, has given ovenmitt romney his political endorsement. the key thing here is that mr. demoss is a soba! (following the uber-cool american trend of shortening hispanic names by using the first couple of letters, [think a-rod, j-lo, etc.] i have turned the entire populus of southern baptists into sobas). but before i get into that, here's a peek into my political self:

i'm not an intensely political person by nature. but i do enjoy following the workings of a presidential campaign, and this one leaves my democratic mind reeling. there are three democratic candidates who have caught the public's attention. one is my favorite, 2 are not. here's why:

1. hello, dying wife? refocus your attention on the things that matter, ego-maniac.

2. um, well, yeah. aside from the fact that "bush-clinton-bush-clinton" wearies me like a dull tennis match, i just can't stand her politics. or her personality.

3. now him, i like. good politics, stand-up guy, seems okay. plus, he has "obama girl". and she's a looker.

so i have to take a look at the republican party this year, a little more closely than i ever have before. we've got rudy, ovenmitt, and mr. paula deen. at least for me, those are the three with the most viable shot. my take here:

1. i think rudy, other than sharing a name with a cute huxtable, has only 9/11 as his claim to fame. his morals leave a bit to be desired; so while i like him, i won't vote for him.

2. mr. paula deen, otherwise known as "the law and order guy", or in some circles, "fred thompson," is a late-comer, popping up only ONE YEAR before the election! i don't know much about him, but i haven't ruled him out. he was a fair and equitable district attorney on tv, which has nothing to do with being president, but left a pleasant taste in my mouth for the guy. plus, he talks like paula deen, and she's the most adorable cook i've ever seen, and her mac and cheese is divine. i'll have to do more research into his politics.

3. okay. finally... ovenmitt. the thing i can't stand about the ovenmitt-for-president sitch is that me being mormon, i tend to run into a lot of other mormons who think we should all vote for him just because he's mormon too. they don't know a thing about his politics, but are convinced he's privvy to extra revelation, which would make him a good pres. i wouldn't vote for hilary just because she's a woman, or obama just because he's black, or mr. paula deen just because i liked his tv show. so why would i vote for someone just because we go to the same church? back to the original article i referenced at the start of this rambling... the soba guy had to reconcile with himself that he was supporting a mormon. but then he came to the realization that "I am more concerned that a candidate shares my values than he shares my theology." BINGO! mr. soba understands politics!

so. whoever you vote for, make sure you do it for the right reasons. that's the point i'm vaguely getting at here. you have a whole year to observe, study and choose. and make sure when you vote, you don't just impregnate your chad; see it through the whole labor and delivery.