What is it about the death of a celebrity, or otherwise famous public figure, that moves us so deeply? How can we feel the loss of someone that was never really ours to lose? I cried yesterday, and intermittently today thinking about Whitney Houston's death. I wondered whether I was crying for the loss of a life, or for the loss of her talent. I've never met Whitney, and even if I had, it would've been no more than a chance encounter between performer and fan. There would not have been a friendship, or any continued interaction to bind us together. And yet, I feel some type of grief at her death. I felt this way about Michael Jackson, Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopez, and John Denver.
There is a certain power in music that enmeshes it with our very souls. There is not a time period in my life that I can't fill with a musical history. I agree not everyone is as affected, moved, or influenced by music as others. But I absolutely believe you can be if you let yourself. I remember my friend's mom took us to see Whitney Houston in Providence, RI when I was about 12 years old. It was my first pop concert, and I couldn't believe how beautiful this woman was, and how awesome it was to hear her music so loudly! I also remember it was the first time I smelled pot. Somehow, I just knew what it was. The whole experience is a memory etched into my mind, even though I can no longer describe many of the details.
The life of a celebrity must be so difficult. The money, the houses, the luxuries...they seem appealing. But they come at such a cost. You spend your life singing, or dancing, or playing your instrument, because you love it so much. People pay you to do it! Then they demand that you do it. And because they buy your records, they feel entitled to dictate how your life should look. They feel entitled to claim your privacy. And now, this thing that you have always loved becomes co-owned by your fans. You have no life. The pressure must be unbelievable.Whitney Houston was a phenomenally talented singer. I don't know a thing about her as a person, other than what the media wants me to know. All my opinions about her as a person are shaped by the media, and there is no way they could ever truly portray who she is. Even personal interviews are edited, scripted, and cut to paint a very controlled image. I have a heart full of sympathy and compassion for the struggles she faced. The demons that must have been such a part of her addictions... I can't even fathom. But I also have respect and admiration for the doors she opened for Black female artists. I appreciate her talent, and the many ways it is a part of my life. I am grateful for the emotions she has made me feel.
I hope that her soul is at rest, free from the heaviness she must have carried in her life. Most importantly, however, I hope that her legacy of beautiful music is never overshadowed by the mess that has been so public for so long.
"There comes a point when we exhale..."
Rest in Peace... Whitney Houston... February 11, 2012
