SAVE MY MARRIAGE.

SERIOUSLY. If you know me, you know I am fiercely competitive. I DESPISE losing. I am actually a very, very sore loser. If you beat me, I will probably ignore you for several days because I can't stomach the bitter loss. Thus it goes without saying that being married to me can be a tricky negotiation. Throw in one subtly competitive husband, and you can imagine that Scrabble gets ugly from time.

So. Here's the thing. My man has been winning our latest round... until I played ROULADE and brought the score to 247-228. I was in the lead. Then he played DIS and was beating me by 3. We were down to the last tiles. I knew he had the Z. I had the Q. Last night, I played "QI" off of the "B" in "BOOGEY". But for some reason, it didn't take. We logged on to play this morning, and my move wasn't there. I was confused, and so I threw the QI up on the board quickly, but I PLAYED IT OFF THE WRONG B! I played it off the B in BOXY.

Are you getting the same heavy knot in your stomach as I did when I realized my mistake? Not only did I forfeit my Q-On-A-Triple-Letter-Square by BOOGEY, but I opened up the triple WORD square for a man with a Z.

I'm not going to lie, people. I cried actual tears. I may have even sworn (and yes, I was hastily chastised by my more mature husband). But COME ON. I'm not saying my intended play would've won me the game. But it sure as HELL wouldn't have given him a chance at 52 points, and it WOULD'VE given me 32 points instead of 17.

So here's the question. He's going to win at this point. In all honestly, I can handle him winning (in spite of what I said about me being a sore loser, I do respect someone who beats me fairly). But I cannot live with a misrepresented score. He was trying to pull the Billy Buckner card on me this morning, but I'm not having it. Therefore, the question I pose to you, my friends, is this:

SHOULD THE FINAL SCORE OF THIS GAME COUNT, OR SHOULD IT BE DISQUALIFIED AS A LEGITIMATE SCORE; FURTHERMORE, SHOULD IT EVER, EVER BE DISCUSSED AGAIN??

Casing Ceremony

WOO! It's been a week! And of course by "a week," I mean "more than your typical 7 days of calendared time."

The battalion cased their colors this week. Before a unit deploys, they hold a special ceremony and basically put their flags away in preparation for the trip overseas. Each company has their own flag, and the battalion has their own as well. "Case" means "put away, like in a little case," and "colors" refers to the flags. This has been your educational military moment of the week.

Because my husband is a leader in his unit, he gets to do important things like stand in the front, and roll up the flag. He makes me so proud.

Really though, it was a very nice ceremony, and I only cried a teeny bit one time. I went up high in the stadium to get a bird's eye shot of all the soldiers, and it was sobering to see them all standing there and think that some of them might not return. But you have to learn how to shut those thoughts off when they come, or they will consume you.

After the ceremony, the local minor league baseball team invited the whole brigade up for a BBQ and night at the game. While it wasn't exactly riveting baseball, we did have fun getting some autographs, eating some BBQ, and hanging out together. It looks like we were the only people there, but we were just the first ones in our seats. The stadium was actually full...eventually...

And of course, a SERIOUS highlight was when we got some screen time. BIG SCREEN time. We were basically famous for 18 seconds.

It's been an eventful week. My relationship with the Army is absolutely a love/hate one. I love the tradition, the strength, the pride, the purpose... but I hate how hard it is to support a soldier. This week, I'm thankful for the family time they have provided us. We have had some really special talks with all of our kids, and have felt peace and love in what should, by all means, be a time of stress and chaos. Finding the good...

A HOLLA To Some Dads I LOVE!

Happy Father's Day...

I have the best dad ever. Seriously. If you think your dad is the awesomest, I'm here to tell you that he can't be, because mine is. If you have a crappy dad, I'm really, really sorry. I will share mine with you.
My dad put up with a LOT in raising me. I was not an easy adolescent. I was selfish, insecure, rebellious, sassy and demanding. I've improved a bit with age, but I have to credit him for much of my success. Something about knowing he believed I could do better actually motivated me to do so. He is patient, generous, and very, very funny.
I love you, Dad. A whole lot.


And then there's this guy... the dad in our house. I'm not sure if I've mentioned before how I feel about him, but, um, basically, I'm head over heels in love with my own little slice of awesomeness.


Today was mostly perfect. With five kids in the house, two of whom consider themselves "daddy's little girl", there was bound to be a bit of jealousy and bickering. But I think we rolled through it. My man called it the best father's day ever. Was it the steaks? The homemade strawberry lemonade? The UNBELIEVABLE lemon cheesecake? (click here for the recipe). Eh, that helped. But it was mostly how much love was poured out all over him.

Imagine if you loved your dad, but you were made to feel guilty for doing so. And now, you're with him on father's day, and you get to share that love with him freely. It was like a floodgate opening. Sam helped me in the kitchen with everything. She practically did the cheesecake on her own. She wanted the day to be perfect for her dad. And Jordan went out of his way to buy him some special presents, with his own money!! So thoughtful.


My kids love their father, and I wouldn't have that any other way. But we are blessed in that they love Skip very much as well. We have our bumps, like any normal family. And we have our extra bumps, like any blended family. But there is no mistaking that there is love in this home, and our kids are sustained by it. It is an answer to many, many prayers, and is the result of consistent, patient effort. I am lucky to have a husband who is willing to be a part of all that. He grew up with no semblance of a parental role model- father or mother. So all of the remarkable talents and qualities he has are because HE CHOSE to develop them. No one taught him to be nurturing, kind, loving, patient, or self-reflecting. He sought after those things, and found them within himself. Instead of following the dysfunction, he chose to become a strong, independent man with a heart of gold. I love him more every day.

Happy, happy fathers day to the wonderful dads who influence my life, and the lives of my children.

An Exercise in Handling Hard Things.

Everyone has something that's hard for them; something you have to do in spite of it being an annoying challenge in your life. Actually, most of us have several hard things. Are you raising a difficult child? Do you resent your husband's job? Do you have conflict with your in-laws? Does your neighbor's dog poop on your lawn? Think about your hard thing. I'm thinking about some of mine. Actually, I'm dwelling them; I have been for a couple of days now. I'm not that super-awesome, well-adjusted person who takes her challenges in stride. I get really consumed with them for a period of time. Then I soul search, rearrange my priorities, read up on what the experts suggest, and THEN tackle the problem. Right now, I'm in the "feel sorry for myself and be annoyed with everyone around me" phase. Sometimes, people advise you to make a list of the good in your life and focus on that. Let's give it a try:

1. My husband is madly in love with me, and almost every time he looks at me, I know he's thinking, "Wow. Love her."

2. Jordan is hilarious. He does the best Napoleon Dynamite impressions, and he keeps me laughing all day long.

3. Mika got a job walking dogs and mowing lawns, and now he is making some money. This means if I need cash, I can hit him up. It also means he can independently fund more of his leisure activities. He's doing awesome in school, and his grades are killer.

4. Sam loves me. She talks to me for hours at a time, and wants to go everywhere with me. This is a huge thing for a step-parent/child relationship.

5. Keola is so proud of moving up to Webelos in Scouts. He is really affectionate lately, holding our hands and being kind and polite to us.

6. Noe and I memorized "Hug of War" by Shel Silverstein, and we say it every night before she goes to bed. It's adorable.

SIDE NOTE: These same 6 people also really work my nerves at any given point during the day. So lest you think I have a quasi-perfect life, let me assure you that they can all be whiny, selfish, snotty little brats. Well, my man is not a whiny, selfish, snotty little brat, but he has a job that Satan himself designed. And I resent it.

So. This was an exercise for me, to see if I could snap myself out of my self-pitying funk and appreciate some of the good in my life. On a scale of 1-10, I'd say its effectiveness was about a 6. I feel somewhat better, but I'm pretty sure if I open the "poor Andrea" door again, all the junk will still be there.... but I'll settle for the score of 6, and go enjoy my family for a bit.

What is your hard thing? And what's one thing you could be grateful for to combat it??

List A and List B, Followed By Pictures

LIST A: What's Making Me Happy Right Now:

1. Summer break from grad school, after earning STRAIGHT A+ grades this semester. Nice.

2. Hearing my step kids say "I Love You, Andrea" and hug me.

3. My kids are still in school, so we're enjoying all those end-of-year activities together.

4. Out of this world ribs we made.

5. The thought of lots of travelling and visiting friends/family this summer.

6. BBQ's with friends.

7. Having so much fun with all our kids.

LIST B: What's Making Me Not Happy Right Now:

1. Only a few weeks until the deployment.

2. Observing certain dysfunctional families and trying to understand how to make them fit into our lives, when really I'm content pretending they don't even exist.

3. One of our children broke the filter on my best portrait lens. (and it wasn't the child you're thinking it was...) Now I have a problem.

4. Fighting with Newport News over $39.60 which I DO NOT OWE THEM but they insist that I do. I hate having to get fierce over the phone.

5. Watching my man recover from oral surgery and having pain and a limited diet. Totally not fun.

And now... some pictures:

A Story

Once there were two brothers, one thirteen, one eight. They shared a deep bond. The younger brother idolized his older brother, and rightfully so. The older boy went out of his way to make the younger one feel as though he were the most important kid in the world. He always had a kind word for his younger brother, and patiently took the time to help him when he struggled. He taught him to spiral a football, ride without training wheels, and use the backboard to make a basket. They were as close as two brothers could be.

And neither of them lived in my house.

We haven't even started summer vacation yet, and I'm already considering selling both to the gypsies. They are so snotty and impatient with each other. Their new thing is mimicking whatever the other says, using a deep yet whiny and obnoxious voice. THEY.ARE.DRIVING.ME.NUTS.

The end.