Everyone has something that's hard for them; something you have to do in spite of it being an annoying challenge in your life. Actually, most of us have several hard things. Are you raising a difficult child? Do you resent your husband's job? Do you have conflict with your in-laws? Does your neighbor's dog poop on your lawn? Think about your hard thing. I'm thinking about some of mine. Actually, I'm dwelling them; I have been for a couple of days now. I'm not that super-awesome, well-adjusted person who takes her challenges in stride. I get really consumed with them for a period of time. Then I soul search, rearrange my priorities, read up on what the experts suggest, and THEN tackle the problem. Right now, I'm in the "feel sorry for myself and be annoyed with everyone around me" phase. Sometimes, people advise you to make a list of the good in your life and focus on that. Let's give it a try:
1. My husband is madly in love with me, and almost every time he looks at me, I know he's thinking, "Wow. Love her."
2. Jordan is hilarious. He does the best Napoleon Dynamite impressions, and he keeps me laughing all day long.
3. Mika got a job walking dogs and mowing lawns, and now he is making some money. This means if I need cash, I can hit him up. It also means he can independently fund more of his leisure activities. He's doing awesome in school, and his grades are killer.
4. Sam loves me. She talks to me for hours at a time, and wants to go everywhere with me. This is a huge thing for a step-parent/child relationship.
5. Keola is so proud of moving up to Webelos in Scouts. He is really affectionate lately, holding our hands and being kind and polite to us.
6. Noe and I memorized "Hug of War" by Shel Silverstein, and we say it every night before she goes to bed. It's adorable.
SIDE NOTE: These same 6 people also really work my nerves at any given point during the day. So lest you think I have a quasi-perfect life, let me assure you that they can all be whiny, selfish, snotty little brats. Well, my man is not a whiny, selfish, snotty little brat, but he has a job that Satan himself designed. And I resent it.
So. This was an exercise for me, to see if I could snap myself out of my self-pitying funk and appreciate some of the good in my life. On a scale of 1-10, I'd say its effectiveness was about a 6. I feel somewhat better, but I'm pretty sure if I open the "poor Andrea" door again, all the junk will still be there.... but I'll settle for the score of 6, and go enjoy my family for a bit.
What is your hard thing? And what's one thing you could be grateful for to combat it??
10 comments:
Wow. I have been thinking about you ALL.DAY.LONG. So I guess one of my hard things is thinking about someone or having a prompting to check in and doing absolutely NOTHING about it. The one thing I could be grateful for to combat the procrastination and the prompting is to tell the friend that I think she totally ROCKS the world. And I am so grateful for your friendship and example to me. Thanks Andrea!
Thanks for the fun little exercise. I need to try it for sure!
I know your hard things and they are hard. I deal with mine the same as you just did: trying to focus on the negative. U also do the things I CAN control and make go well (running marathons, reading good books) and that helps me not feel helpless 100% of the time.
1. Yes, two.
2. I try not to think about it.
3. Um...
4. Yes! Every dog in the neighborhood does because my dog does. It's a dumping ground. They poop on my deck too!
Oh, I've got it bad:) I have some wicked sunsets every night though.
My hard thing is just # 1. Oh, and I've been sick for a month and just found out it's walking phenomena, no wonder I had such a crappy marathon and can't deal.
It's all #1's fault though:)
I started doing this same little exercise a couple of years ago. I got myself a "Finding the Joy" journal because joy certainly wasn't finding me. I usually write in it during boring Sacrament meetings-so just about every Sunday. You may not think you're going to get through this but lots of people know you will! :)
jessica...your comment makes it sound like i run marathons, like you.
my sides hurt from laughing so hard.
My calming exercise involves scooping up my little Cam and hugging her guts out.
What am I going to do when she gets older? :(
I have several hard things...one is not my fault and one is.
I cannot gain mastery over my weight...and it makes me mad/sad/frustrated. It is my fault...gluttony is nobody's fault but my own.
Your list made me so happy. You are a great mom. Truly. I love that Sam loves you like that.
I'm still just hung up on your #1 and thinking how awesome that would be to know/feel that.
Hang in there! You are tougher and stronger than you know. When I start having a pity party for myself, it doesn't take long to look around and find someone else MUCH worse off than me and put things right back in perspective. Or when I'm getting annoyed with multiple people, I realize maybe I'm the one with the issue. But if it's just one person--then it's totally them! ha! ha!
I read other peeps blog posts that are titled "I can do hard things" and I know that I actually suck at doing the hard things (or at least doing them without falling apart). I am sorry that you are feeling the way you are, but I suspect if anyone can handle these challenges it's you. It's also really important to go through the process (soul searching, re prioritise etc) so you can deal with ... LIFE.
My hard thing involves my career at the moment and I have never felt so scared. Thanks for sharing your thoughts in this post.
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