Never Underestimate the Power of the Schwartz

So. Date night. Now that football has started back up, all of our babysitters are accounted for. Which means date night is going to take a little more effort on our parts. So this weekend I told Skip to come up with the entertainment and I'd handle the munchies. We would have to stay home.
I was feeling pretty impressed with myself for whipping up a favorite kielbasa dip, pina coladas, and a tasty white chocolate mousse with fresh berries...

And guess what Mr. Hilarious provides for entertainment?
Spaceballs. Yes, the movie. I have bragged to him since we got married that while in high school, I could quote the movie word for word from beginning to end. I'm not sure if he wanted to test me, or just watch me laugh like an idiot for 90 minutes. Either way, it was one of the most fun nights we've had in a while. If you haven't watched Spaceballs since high school, the time has come. Actually, the time is now. You're looking at now, sir. What happens now is happening now. What happened to then? We passed then. When? Just now. When will then be now? Soon...
And yes, that's a portable DVD player on our bed. We refuse to put a television in our room... lessons learned the hard way once before. Television in the bedroom = lackluster love life.

My Little B.M.

So. In case you're wondering, this post is not about poop. B.M. stands for "Brag Moment". I'm sure a poop post would be more entertaining, but what is the blog for if not to exploit yourself and talents from time to time?

Feast your eyes on exhibit A:

Big whoop, says you. Well... let me just say that I started this little piece de resistance (please pronounce with a sultry French accent) about 5 or 6 years ago. I got a significant chunk of it done, and then threw it in a box with the rest of my life and forgot about it. The other day, I was looking at our drab green bedspread, thinking it looked an awful lot like an Army uniform, and decided it was time for a change.

I went to the garage, dug through a box, and found this unfinished business. I zipped around on the sewing machine for a bit, and presto! I now have this clever little log-cabin duvet cover.

There are plenty of flaws in it, to be sure. And I didn't have enough fabric to finish the log cabin pattern all the way around, so I had to do some improvising on the edges. But all in all, I'm pleased.
So there you have it. Secretly, I long to be domestic.

Nah. Just kidding. Secretly, I long to be rich enough to buy all the cute things I want.

The Doggie Paddle Gone Wrong

Ah, the local water park. It's a great place to take my kids when the temps rise to an uncomfortable degree. There are slides, various pools, lots of other kids to play with... you get the picture. We've been gone a lot this summer, so we haven't had the chance to go like we did last year. So this week, I thought we would make an appearance.

Imagine my shock and disgust when I arrived and found THIS picture posted up on the entry window:

We live in a very earthy-crunchy community. Sweaterheads abound. And they love their dogs as much as they love their deomcracy. For the most part, I don't mind all of this. I enjoy a little liberalism, I like the look of dreadlocks, I'm fascinated with hairy-underarmed women; I rather enjoy life in this modern day Haight-Ashbury.

But the dogs? It's a bit much for me. Have a pet if you want; love it, walk it, feed it... shoot, you can even bring it to the park and toss around a frisbee as long as you have a Walmart bag at the ready. But when I show up at the water park and find there is a special day set aside for doggie swim, I get a little ill. I get a little irate, actually. I mean, even though there's really no difference between a dog peeing in the pool and a kid peeing in the pool, one is clearly harder to stomach than the other. And while there is little difference between my long-haired stepdaughter shedding in the pool, and a doggie shedding in the pool, again, one is clearly more repulsive than the other.

So now what? Do I boycott? This is a small community. There are limited opportunities for aquatic adventure. We're having an unusual heat wave, and water play is essential. The kids think it's cool. Is this one more thing in my life that I'll just have to learn to let go of? Why, God, must you torment me with these trials???