S is for Skip

Can I just start by saying that my husband actually ASKED me to write this post? I find that a risky move on his part, but who am I to say no?

As you may or may not know, I have a little "thing" for good nutrition. Let's be honest here... I am a vicious nag about eating healthy. If you are my friend, you may have felt the sting of my condescending glare as you sipped your diet Dr. Pepper. If you are my husband... well... let's just say your life may be the equivalent of a living hell.

The man I married was raised on Manwiches and processed cheese. I get a little surge of bile in the back of my throat when I think of the foods he most wants to eat. It has been a delicate balance in our marriage to find the line between me totally dominating the pantry, and him getting to actually enjoy what we eat. Mostly, I've won. And the times when he has won have been filled with a "lack of support" on my part. I have taken every opportunity to point out the damage he is doing to his insides. His heart is probably hanging on by a thread. I've pointed out that his arteries are surely strained at best... much like useless channels running through his body. I have cursed him for cutting short our golden years together.

Guess who went to the doctor this week? And guess whose cholesterol numbers came back OFF THE CHARTS? I quickly emailed my sweet friend Robin-The-Wise to ask her for some good pointers on how to negotiate the subject with my man. I realized this was no time for my traditional approach, and I felt he might be open to a rational discussion on health and nutrition after such a scare.

Well.

He broke the numbers down for me, and as it turns out, his super high number was that of his GOOD cholesterol. The number that is SUPPOSED to be high. In fact, the doctor told him that not only was it better than most men half his age, but that it was indeed THE BEST HE'D EVER SEEN. Fo'rizzle, people. I believe there was some reference to a "Teflon coating along the inner walls of his arteries." I think the man even did a jig. Yes, a jig.

All's well that ends well, however. Thanks to Sage Robin's advice, I was able to initiate a conversation with my husband that involved rational discussion followed by receptive appreciation. We do, indeed, plan to grow old together. He is actually grateful for my nutritious efforts, and I am actually penitent for my self-righteous approach. I will say it'll be a cold day in hell we probably won't go to a completely plant-based diet as a family, but we've come to a new understanding. And it's this: He is a demi-God of some sort, and we'll all just suck it up and eat more salad.

Plus, the guy really loves me. I met up with him at the memorial the other day. I saw him first, and went to take his picture. He turned and saw me, and look how big he smiled. If he can be that happy to see me in spite of my constant nagging gentle reminders about his eating habits, then we have a good thing.