First of all, can we discuss the discrepancy between an unshaven man and an unshaven woman? I mean, check this picture out:
That guy is sexy, right? The rough, rugged look of whiskers coming through his chiseled jawline? Yummy. Now imagine the reverse:
The rough, rugged look of whiskers coming through her shapely legs? Barbed wire. Steel wool. Nasty. No one wants to even THINK about it, forget experience it. My fabulously sexy husband shaves his head every day. I am less vigilant about my legs. I mean, I'm no Sasquatch, but daily shaves? Ain't happenin. And yet... I am fairly mortified if anyone catches a glimpse of my stubbly legs, while my aforementioned fabulously sexy husband could conceivably skip a day or two and still look... well... fabulously sexy. As a matter of fact, I would daresay that his skipping a day or two would actually enhance his fabulous sexiness. I feel like there's a conspiracy against women. Let's move on to my 2nd point, shall we? Razors for women, vs. razors for men. For the sake of this frugal and practical woman's debate, we will discuss only disposables. Have you seen what's out there? Check out the men's section, and then compare it to the women's. First of all, they have TWICE as many to choose from. And not only do they have more to choose from, but they have WAY better choices. Observe:
The grandaddy of all razors. The new Gillette Fusion. My man wanted to try this, so I bought it for him. He tried it, and then spent the entire day rubbing his head and singing its praises. "Never had a smoother shave!" "Wow, this may be my closest shave EVER!" "Babe, feel my head! What a shave, huh?" And here's where I make a confession. The next day, standing in the shower staring at my stubbly legs, my gaze was drawn to the Fusion, hanging there on his side of the caddy. I am not even kidding you, the thing said, "Try me, Andrea. Just try me." Of course, I looked over at my baby-blue Venus, checked the fading moisture strip, noticed some stray hairs stuck in the blades, and thought... "Well, I would like to see how close of a shave I could get..." So I did it. Yes, I know. This isn't even something one should confess to their clergyman, far less publicly on their blog. My husband doesn't even know about this little indiscretion yet.
But ya know what? WHAT A SHAVE! When I finished, I looked down and I swear to you I was standing on two sticks of butter. BUTTER, I tell you! I am now going on day 3 since my foray with the Fusion, and I barely have stubble. Can you explain that to me? And where is the women's equivalent of this depilatory machine?
Why is it so much more work for a woman to maintain a certain level of sexiness than it is for a man? Marketing conspiracy theory, that's what I say. All I know is it's kind of a bummer I wasn't born a Sasquatch. Seems like a win-win to me.
20 comments:
You standing marveling at your two sticks-a-butta legs made me chuckle.
Being that shaving everyday IS happenin' with me.. I can NOT do the stubble... I'm switchin' to the male Fusion and seeing how it treats me.
I'll let ya know.
If ya get enough of us switched over.. you deserve some royalties.
i know. do you really think kendon would appreciate it if i rubbed my scraggly legs all over his face? probably not. but every time we kiss i get "stubble rub." Yet, his stubble gets to be (and IS!) so sexy. total double standard here.
I'm gonna try the fusion.
The things you say seriously crack me up. Who else would have said that they are standing on two sticks of butter?
If I were in marketing and had the Gilette Fusion people as a client I would actually have this testimonial featured on a commercial.
...and I think you are gonna be in big trouble when that husband of yours with the sexy shaven head reads this post...and that's another thing that made me laugh...the part about your using his razor isn't even something that should be confessed to a clergyman made me laugh loudly enough that Mike heard me and I read this post to him and he actually laughed, too. He said to tell you that your husband will forgive you for using his razor if you let him feel how smooth your legs are now.
How did you get away with using your man's razor and he not notice. Bob can tell right away..... says it "dulls" the blade! barbwire indeed!
AMEN!
I gave up on women's razors about 6 months ago. Continually disappointed with the results, I threw mine away and was left with no other alternative than to use my husband's. What a world of difference! I converted and bought myself a men's razor. My friend's husband had told me about the new disposable with 5 blades--it looks like this fusion might be just what he was talking about. Gonna have to stop and pick one up. I'm a daily shaver, I like being smooth and silky. (And since I'm in a swimming suit 3 days a week, there really is no other choice!)
Sounds like Gillette has another customer. You speak so clearly my thoughts.
sure you didn't mean "like buttah.." I'm all vaclempt reading about the shaving... Talk amongst yourselves... No big whoop... like 2 two sticks of buttah. Love it!
Well I share my earrings with my son, why not buy the same kind of A** kicken razor and share the refillable blades with my husband. Sticks of butter are always more enjoyable to lick without pokies. Thanks for your enlightening ah-ha moment that men's razors thrump our worthless hair yanking rakes!
K now I totally have to try this! I am a Venus user too and while I think it does a good job I am sold on the Fusion! Who cares if it is a men's razor ;-)
I have been using a man's razor for years. Women's razors just plain suck.
I have to say even the men's cheapo razors work better then woman's. I would consider saying that most razor engineers are men, so the thought in engineering is towards their faces and not our legs!(was that too sexist?) I would choose a men's over a women's any day! Glad you found most women's little secret!
I might have told you that my maiden name is Schwartz...so the comment above by Momma Schwartz almost made me think that my mom was commenting on your blog, because her screen name is Mom Schwartz. But, my dad's name isn't Bob...so I guess it isn't my mom...unless my mom is having an affair with a guy named Bob...and she has been using his razor...and he has been telling her it makes it dull...
I need to go to bed.
Let's be honest, if a woman doesn't shave, her husband will look past the stubble and still have sex with her but if a man forgets to shave its just one more tick mark against him and we're "outta there"! It benefits a man to have better razors.
This is truly enlightening though-I never thought to use a man's razor-I'm all over that and I think there is an unused Fusion in the bathroom-SWEET!
I have been using a man's razor for 20 years or more. And I found a great website that specially treats the razor blade refills, so that they last twice as long. E-mail me if interested and I'll send you the link. Gotta keep those butter legs; whatevah.... You kill me.
You two should be on a Gilette commercial. Miss ya, girl!
I, too, stand on sticks of butter...pure fat.
Oops, I digress...who knew that one could write such a well-thought out, well researched essay on the positives and negatives of Fusion Razors? May I point out you forgot to discuss $$$ and longevity of said razors...other than that? Sheer genius.
The fusion razor is now on my grocery list. I can't wait for the butter sensation!
You guys don't want to know what I'm shaving with that Fusion.
Post a Comment