Day Nineteen

Highlights of today:

1. Formed a thesis for my next paper: "Critical multiculturalism helps prevent the assimilation of minority groups and is an essential approach to diminishing the institutionalized racism inadvertently perpetuated by teachers."
Fun with the big words, huh? My goal right now is to seriousy figure out how to appropriately use the words "ontological" and "epistemological". I've looked them up a thousand times, and I just can't quite figure out the difference between the two. I'm toying with the idea of asking my professor... but I don't want to look STOOPID.

2. That's all. Seriously. My entire day was spent reading and writing. I did volunteer at the kids' school today, but other than that, I only did school. Therefore, I have no highlights. I'm actually turning the comments off for this post, because it is so unbelievably boring, that no one should even feel obligated to say anything.

Day Eighteen

Wow. Eighteen seems like a lot. Today was nice. Here are the highlights:

We made Annemarie's French Toast Cups for breakfast. Seriously, she's totally right- all the yumminess of French Toast, no messy griddle or trying to get everyone's cooked at the same time. Her Taste Buds blog is loaded with yummy recipes. I can't believe I've missed out on it for TWO YEARS. Where have I been, Annemarie? (Maybe in Witness Protection with your sister...)


We took a little outing to the falls. We haven't seen them since we've moved here, but have heard they were nice. Indeed, they were.

You know what I love? When my kids are enjoyable to be around. When they don't bicker, disobey, or whine. When they just act like nice, pleasant human beings. That was today. Just three nice people sharing the day with me. This picture is funny because there was a guy there with THOUSANDS of dollars of camera equipment, shooting the falls. I was like FINALLY, someone I can hand my camera off to, and count on getting a nice, focused shot.

He focused. Too bad he forgot to check if everyone's face was in the frame. Oh well. I'm sure his pictures of the falls were lovely.

Mika took this picture of Noe and I. I love it. It wasn't posed or anything. Actually, we were getting ready to pose for him, and he happened to snap this. Which is good, because the one that we posed for, he only got about 1/8 of our faces in it.

Since my man has coverage with his phone again, I got to talk to him throughout the day, and lots of texts. And this, of course, is a super highlight of my day.

Last, for those who wanted the zucchini bisque recipe, here it is. I used to eat it in Portugal when I was cold and soaked to the bone. We would stop by the Driggs' house, speak a little English, dry out our socks, warm ourselves, and fill our tummies. I still feel loved when I eat this soup!!

1 cube butter
1 onion, chopped
10 c. unpeeled , sliced zucchini
2 c. chicken broth
1 c. half and half
salt and pepper to taste
1 dash nutmeg (no more)

Simmer squash, butter, onion, and broth until squash is tender. Put through blender. Add cream. Serve hot or cold. Consistency is pleasant and thick. Color is soft jade and its zippy flavor is also excellent cold.

Notes: You can substitute 2 chicken bouillon cubes and 2 c. water for the broth.
For a more lo-cal version, decrease butter and use low fat milk.(which is what I usually do)
I also use a Braun handheld blender right in the pan, so I don't have to pour the hot mixture into the big blender. Much faster, and less mess, plus I don't worry about the hot liquid splashing and burning.

Day Seventeen

Music made everything make sense today. We were doing chores. We always put on our "FUN" playlist for chores. My Boy was stuck today. Stuck in anger and frustration and negativity. And it was making me really mad. But you know the drill, right? You can't engage. It gets you nowhere. And right when I was contemplating sending a scathing text to my husband, (because clearly it's his fault for being gone), this song comes on:


Well, it was the Lady GaGa version, but I couldn't stomach the video of her trampy self, so I opted for hottie Daughtry instead. But I digress. It was like the ipod was speaking to me.

"Can't read my, Can't read my, no you can't read my Poker Face..."

You can be angry inside, but figure something out, fast, so you can bluff your way through this moment with your stuck kid. So with Lady GaGa driving her pounding beat into our heads, we decide a quick cool down upstairs is in order. I'm still smiling, at least with my Poker Face. He knows he's removing himself from the moment, a chance to save face. He goes.

Here comes Pink. RAISE YOUR GLASS.

"Don't be fancy, just get dancy, why so serious? Raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways, all my underdogs... We will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty gritty..." He's my kid. I love him fiercely. He and I will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty gritty. It's who we are. Are we going to fight it every day? Or embrace it? Find joy in our crazy noise? You can only cry so often about how hard things are. Then you get up and just get dancy.




He comes back down, still rigid, but wanting to feel good again. He still has to do a strong-sit; 9 minutes, cross-legged, to let his body relax. Bruno Mars wants something different. I hold out my hand. "If I dance with you, do I still have to do a strong sit?" "Nope. " So we dance. And as loud as I can sing, I tell him,
"When you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile... because you're amazing, just the way you are." He makes a gagging face when Bruno says "Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she'd let me." I gag back, then try to kiss him. He tries to spin me like a ballerina. I dip him like a chicken nugget in honey mustard. His smile is back, and I know his heart is as full of good stuff as mine is. That happy spirit is back in our kitchen. Recognize it, welcome it, embrace it.


Let the music play.

Day Sixteen

Really a super day all-around. Insanely busy, but great.

1. Texted with my hilarious stepson. Told him "I miss Dad like crazy!" He replied, "Welcome to the club, sister. You bring the decaf, I'll bring the donuts." Love that kid.

2. Had the most fascinating class discussion today on constructing racial identity. I'm so intrigued by the concept of white privilege and how it applies to me. I'm also amazed at how prevalent institutional racism is in so many places in this country. I am eating this class up, and think my professor is a brilliant woman who is going to make this course so worthwhile.

3. My kids had about a billion friends over tonight for supper (orange chicken with rice in lettuce wraps... yummm!) and to watch The Fantastic Mr. Fox. I thought the movie was really weird.

4. SOMEONE came out of black ops...ooooooh... tonight and was able to call me on his cell phone. He's listed in my contacts as Mr. Lova Man, and I haven't seen that name flash across my screen in 2 weeks. It was a total treat. I got a little misty when I showed the phone to Keola, and he literally smiled from ear to ear. He was so excited to talk to him, he couldn't stop smiling.

5. Confirmed with my amazing marathoning college roommate/BFF that she is doing a race out here in March. Which means I get to see her. Which means my other college girlz are going to try really hard to come out too. Which means GIRLZ WEEKEND FOR ME!!

6. Found out they shaved a week off of the training exercise; so this will turn into a 21 day adventure instead of 28. Nothing could spoil a day when you get news like that!!

Day Fifteen

I have to go do some interviews with a couple of community based organizations for one of my classes. Imagine my surprise when I pulled out my flipcam today, and found the battery nearly dead and all kinds of interesting little clips on it. (Luckily, NOT at the actual interview...)

This is only slightly funny, because no one is actually allowed to touch my stuff. There was a plethora of video footage stored on here, from several people other than myself. I will confess that I found most of the video clips mildly entertaining, but sadly, I am going to have to reprimand some children later this evening.

Here's one I had forgotten all about. I am not picking my nose, I just like the way my fingernail feels on my lip when I'm concentrating on Facebook posts important school readings. Also, make sure your volume is up because about 2/3 of the way into it, Mika makes his announcement.

And then, of course, an epic battle between our beloved Transformer heroes. On my couch. Please note the man voice of my 9 year old child.

These things made me smile today. Also, I took a walk because it was gorgeous and sunny out. I finished all my assignments for the week. And, I did not make my bed. Again. I'm on bed making holiday until B gets home.

Since I'm sure everyone's been eagerly awaiting the responses to yesterday's quiz, here they are:

1. d: I yelled at my kids for everything.

2. a: True. I made the bisque, it was divine. I will share the recipe tomorrow.

3. b: It was the ridiculously wordy text. Why must these academia types try so hard to sound, well, academic? It makes the reading tedious for me, and apparently sometimes it also makes me angry enough to swear.

4. a,b,c,d: (a)Mika was home, sick, so I gave him some summation questions for the SotU Address. He did a great job, but whined about doing it. (b) I made my kids accountable for their choices. Always good. (c) Is questionably good parenting... good because I know my limits and when to call it quits; not so good because it was done in anger. (d) Established. Bisque was yum.

bonus: TRUE. A little hard work is good for the boys, and hey, FREE SOD!

Thank you for playing. Well, Thank you Rynell and Christie for playing. Thank the rest of you for commiserating with me.

Day Fourteen

Let's take a little quiz about day 14, shall we? Then we can see if perhaps there truly was anything worth finding "good" about today.

1. I used Love and Logic, showed patience and kindness screamed at my kids for which of the following:
a) teasing
b) bickering
c) coughing really hard and loud on purpose to try and make me feel bad for her
d) all of the above.

2. For supper we had a delicious zucchini bisque in sourdough breadbowls, and yes of course, I would be happy to share the recipe with all of you.
a) true b) false

3. Which of these factors caused me to swear out loud?
a) my children
b) a passage in my reading that referred to high school dropouts as "premature school leavers"
c) none, as I would never swear out loud
d) running out of flavored Triscuits.

4. I was a good parent today because (choose all that apply):
a) I made my home-from-school middle schooler write a summary of the State of the Union address.
b) I willingly accepted donations from my children's allowance to help fund the higher-than-necessary electric bill. You know, the one that's high because they leave every light in the house on?
c) I sent them upstairs at 6:45 for the night. Didn't see them again. May have, perhaps, used a bit of anger and guilt to accomplish this miracle.
d) I made them a delicious supper of zucchini bisque in sourdough breadbowls, which 2 of them loved and one of them liked.

*Extra credit question, (for you Sarah):
*I made my children take leftover scraps of sod from a vacant lot and lay them along the area of bark edging in my back yard, because I don't want the bark edging there, and hey, free sod!
a) TRUE b) FALSE


That's probably good enough. Hard to say what today would get if I was rating my days. Good thing I'm not.

Day Thirteen

Ohhhh it pains me to find good in today. Let me indulge in a brief moment of self-pity. My BFF was coming from Cali to see me tomorrow. Then her little one got sick. Her husband is already out of town, and we all know we don't leave our little ones when they're sick without mom or dad. So she's not coming. Plus I haven't slept in 13 days, I'm up to my eyeballs in graduate studies, and oh yeah... life spins on at a thousand miles a minute with three kids. And the man is gone.

CRAP.

On to the bright and shining moments of today:

1. Took the kids out for din-din since they are feeling better and have been super good. The restaurant actually had malt vinegar for my fries. There is nothing like the tang of a salty, fried potato drenched in malt vinegar. A personal fave.

2. A friend of mine from high school tried my "dedicate a song to yourself from your husband" idea. She did "She's Beautiful" by Darius Rucker. Then she told me that it worked, and she felt the love. Seriously. You should try it. We all know our spouses really feel that way; cut them some slack and just dedicate the song to yourself.

3. Found a note in Noe's backpack, on which she had all her classmates sign up for "A RIDE ON NOE'S PARTY TRAIN." I have no idea what that means, and hope I'm not raising some kind of cheap trick... but seriously, most of the class signed up. So it had better be good.

That's it. I'm POOPED tonight, and really want to go to bed early. My goal tonight is in bed by 10:30. Wish me luck!

Oh, and PS... if you missed my SO funny video short on yesterday's post, scroll down and check it out. It's me and B as Lego characters, on a secret rendez-vous in Beijing. I'm still cracking up over it.

Day Twelve

Today was quite nice.

1. It is actually the 6 month anniversary of Conrad's death. It could potentially be a very heavy and depressing day. So my girl Ann and I went to the spa. We watched the Vietnamese ladies talk about us in Vietnamese. They weren't even subtle... totally staring at us while talking to each other. We were cracking up. They treated our bodies pretty well, though, so no complaints. Went out for lunch, and then hung out at the house and tried not to get coughed on by my sick kids.
I know the day will still weigh heavy in her heart. But I love her for making the effort.



2. Got a surprise phone call from my sweet friend in AFRICA. Yes, technology these days is amazing. Remember when that phone call would've cost about a thousand dollars? I talked to her for a half an hour... FOR FREEEEEE! My kriolu is a bit rusty, but it was amazing how we instantly reconnected. We both have three kids, and our two oldest are the same age. We compared notes on middle children... get this: birth order applies EVEN IN AFRICA! So funny. My heart was filled with love and friendship.


3. We actually had a nice little FHE, and Noe's prayer was the best: "Please bless Daddy that he won't die or get poisonness so he can come home."

Amen to that.

Lastly: I share this special moment with you, my trusted friends. Mad thanks to H-Dawg for her hilarious post where I learned of this fabulous site:

Day Eleven

TODAY: CHURCH

I still have a couple of sick kids, but I had to speak in Sacrament Meeting today. So I didn't stay for the whole three hours; but I did at least get to go for the first block.

My talk was on "finding happiness and success in your family." I wanted to make a joke about the irony of asking a divorcee to address this topic, but I opted not to. Save it for the blog, right?

In the Book of Mormon, in Moroni 7:45, we learn about charity. We adhere to the doctrine that charity is the pure love of Christ. So logically, if you want to have a happy family, you have to learn how to invite the Savior into your home, and how to show charity to your family members. There are a lot of obstacles to that, however, and it's amazing to see how the Adversary tries to keep us from reaching that goal. Observe:

Charity...
...suffereth long: Do you choose to overlook things that bother you, understanding that you, too, are imperfect?

...is kind: Have you tried just being nice, even when you don't feel like it?

...envieth not: Do you feel resentful, jealous, or spiteful at times?

...is not puffed up: Do you feel a sense of smug satisfaction when you are right?

...seeketh not her own: Do you listen for understanding, or do you wait for your spouse to hurry up and finish speaking, so you can start making your point?

...is not easily provoked: Do you try to pick a fight when you're upset? Do you assume your spouse's comment is a criticism, and often feel defensive?

...thinketh no evil: LET IT GO! When you're upset, do you sulk around the house, feel sorry for yourself, or wonder what you ever saw in this person in the first place?

...rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth: This does NOT mean "gloat when you're right!" Do you step back and look at your spouse as a child of God, and truly try to see those Godly qualities that He has implanted in him or her? Do you allow yourself to look with respect and admiration, rather than frustration and annoyance?

...beareth all things: Gordon B. Hinckley said it best, "Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration."

...believeth all things: What do you believe about your marriage? About your spouse? About the eternal nature of families?

...hopeth all things: Do you rely on hope in the hard times? Or do you allow feelings of frustration and despair to take over?

...endureth all things: "Bearing" all things means we learn to tolerate; "Enduring" all things focuses more on our perspective. We believe in "enduring to the end", so keeping our eye on eternity can help us endure those challenges that come to our families.

That was pretty much my talk. I thought it went pretty well, but I missed looking at Skip in the congregation and getting a smile from him while I spoke. Keola came with me, and sat on the stand next to me. He was well-behaved and I was proud of him. Now we're watching the Steelers/Jets game, waiting to see the Jets lose.

Enjoy the close of the weekend!!

Day Ten

Here's what made me happy today:

1. Supper.


It was super yum... some Mexi-seasoned steak, sauteed onions and peppers, Spanish rice, and some frijoles. Throw it in a tortilla with some fresh mango salsa... zooooeeey MAMA!



2. Keola's Volcano Evacuation Plan. He asked me today if I had one, to which I replied, "Not really. Just avoid lava. How about you?" He said, "I'm grabbing my bank, my DumDum wrapper collection, my fuzzy slippers, and an extra pair of shoes." Always thinking ahead, that one.



3. Keola's epiphany. As the solitary reigning Well Child in our home, he accompanied me to WalMart to buy cilantro and Puffs Plus tissues. We didn't get a carriage, as we weren't planning on getting anything else. You know how that goes at WalMart, right? 17 items later... he and I both had our arms loaded. And he said, "Mom. I really like helping you. It gives me a good feeling inside."


4. Somebody I know may or may not have set up a military email account for me, so that said somebody could then allow me to instant message with him whilst in black ops.... oooooohhhh. And tonight may or may not have been our first chat. And my fingertips may or may not be nearly aching from typing so fast and so hard.

DAY TEN: Super sick kids, bad. Everything else, good.

Day Nine

Well.

Here we are.

Day nine.

MY POOR KID HAS WALKING PEE-NOO-MONIA. Who knew?! I, of course, have noticed his hacking bark for the past month or so. But why let that slow us down!? I finally felt bad for myself him being kept up all night by such a noisy cough. So I took him in. Sure enough, they did an x ray of his lungs, and poor Mika. At least he scored some sweet codeine-laced cough syrup.

Also, I kept Noe home because she has a really bad cold. Because she is hearing impaired, when her ears get plugged up, she can hardly hear anything at all. So she YELLS EXTRA LOUD WHEN SHE TALKS. I did her teacher a favor and kept her home today.

Finding a highlight in that, I'd have to say it's the fact that kids appreciate more snuggle time when they don't feel well. So tonight we just got a pizza and watched How To Train Your Dragon, and we all snuggled. They are really going the extra mile to help out while Skip is gone, and it makes me feel so appreciative of them.

Day Nine. Not so bad.

Day Eight

Good things about today:

1. Finished a really hard analysis paper on Behaviorism as a learning theory in the classroom. I had to analyze a video sample, and then provide alternative forms of instruction that followed Behaviorist theory. It took me most of today, and my brain hurts. But it's DONE.

2. Wrote a very mean email. Didn't send it. Felt proud of my self-control at hitting "save as draft" instead of "send", and then going back later to hit "delete". Accomplished more by letting it go than by attacking.

3. Saw my tutoring student get 100% on a 20 word spelling test. Felt thrilled, as there were previously about 5 words he could actually spell.

4. Didn't flip off a seriously uptight driver who passed me in a NO PASSING ZONE today after having sat on my bumper for a good 2 miles. Again, self-control felt good. Although when I ended up right next to said driver as we both arrived at a red light, it also felt good to pretend to take her picture with my cheap cell phone.

5. Ate some yummy fajitas for supper. Enjoyed kids doing the cleanup.

6. Finished an online Scrabble game that I've been playing with my BFF, Lisa, for 8 days now. It's been an enjoyable and leisurely distraction.

Basically, an uneventful day. Uneventful is usually good. I focus on keeping busy with my daily tasks, enjoy the company of friends, love on my kids, and tick off one more day in the countdown. Oh yeah, and bore you with all the details. :o)

Day Seven

The highlight of my day was the 1 minute 50 second phone call that THIS GUY

was able to sneak in to me.

I smiled the entire near-two-minutes, and I couldn't stop giggling. It felt good.

Day Six

Today's highlight: Grocery shopping.

Here are the spoils, which we will now discuss:

Sometimes it seems difficult to get your family to eat healthy. Since I'm on this big "look on the bright side" kick right now, I'll share with you some of what we do around here that works well for us.

Buy as many fruits and veggies as you can realistically eat before they spoil. One of the keys is having a lot of variety... in color, texture, flavor, etc. Here's what we'll eat in the next 2 weeks, along with how we'll eat it:

1. SNACKS: I keep all fresh fruits on the counter in bowls. The kids are welcome to eat anything out there, any time of day (except for a half hour before meal times), without asking for permission. I put dried fruits and nuts in little rubbermaid containers, same rules apply.

On days when I am feeling more motivated, I prep fresh veggies before they come home from school. Or, as you can see in the picture, I buy the pre-cut stuff because sometimes I'm just not interested in making extra effort. Ranch, peanut butter or cream cheese make good dips, and while they're not the healthiest options, let's be honest... they facilitate kids eating veggies.

2. SIDES: We usually have a side salad with our supper, prepared in any number of ways. Just cucumbers or tomatoes with some salt and pepper, olive oil, vinegar, and feta cheese; typical lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, radishes, etc; spinach leaves with chopped pear, some craisins and some cashews. We throw a handful of berries, some dried fruit, or cut up bananas into our cereal or oatmeal at breakfast. If your kids don't like broccoli or radishes, cut them up REALLY small in a salad. When you cut the broccoli, imagine the little ball-thingies on the ends are razor stubble, and you're shaving it. So there are teeny little crumbs of broccoli in your salad, which no one can even taste. And yet, here you are, sneaking vitamins A and C, calcium and fiber right into their little bodies.

3. MAIN DISH: Sometimes I make a mega chef salad, with all the veggies, and some grilled chicken and cubes of cheese. Or a pasta salad, with lots of fresh veggies, some little pieces of meat and cubed cheese. Tomorrow I'm making a zucchini bisque. A half a grapefruit with some whole wheat toast makes a nice breakfast.

4. RANDOM HEALTHY IDEAS: I've heard quinoa is a nutritional powerhouse. I've never made it, but I bought some today. I'm going to give it a try. It's a grain, not a veggie. But we'll see what we can do with it. Also, I buy ground flax seed. Sprinkle it on EVERYTHING! You can't even taste it, and if you throw a couple of tablespoons in your salad, your cereal, oatmeal, sauces, anything you can think of, it will help keep your cholesterol low and provide you with good fiber. Also, herbal tea makes a great, soothing snack. My kids feel like big stuff drinking tea, and with a little honey, it gives us an alternative to the processed sugars found in most fruit juices.

5. OTHER THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN YOU HAVE THE MUNCHIES: Man cannot live by veggie alone. At least not this (wo)man. I need crunch and salt. So I buy popcorn (not the kind loaded with fatty oil... natural is best. Kettle corn has a nice sweet/salty flavor to it). Pepperidge Farm is really good about keeping their foods simple. Remember, if an ingredient list is really long, and loaded with things you've never heard of, then it may be best to avoid that product. Try to go with whole grain snacks, with simplified ingredient lists. I think cheese is a good snack, I know vegans disagree. But I pair some cheese with my crunchy snacks, and it's very satisfying.

6. LUNCHBOXES: Most days, I am really disappointed in what our schools offer for hot lunch. My little ones bring their lunch to school about 90% of the time. Mornings are a rush, so convenience is key. There are so many prepackaged options out there... look for the most natural choices. Fruit cups packed in "light syrup" are usually loaded with high fructose corn syrup. Look instead for the ones packed in 100% fruit juice. Unsweetened applesauce is also a good choice. We make sandwiches with lean meats like turkey and chicken breast, on whole grain bread. Whole wheat white works for picky eaters. Juicy juice and Motts make 100% juice boxes, without any sugar.

So there you have it. That's how we do most of our healthy eating around here. I do buy ice cream and a couple packages of cookies; the kids can have dessert every night. A few cookies, or a few scoops of ice cream... I don't want them to feel deprived and then pig out other places. And my dinners are pretty typical... just with lots of extra healthy stuff included. Make no mistake, there are nights where I fail, and the kids make themselves ramen. Or sometimes we have hot dogs. But I'm really trying to keep the menu healthy as much as I can. And the more I do it, the easier it gets.

So this is the bright spot in my day... feeling like I'm an informed shopper, able to provide good nutrition for my family. Who, by the way, are not always a pain in the A.

Day Five

Things worthy of note today:

1. The fact that today was not a good day. I was still bummed when I woke up about the Pats' loss yesterday. I had a really rough day with my son, who desperately misses my husband. And my two other kids, the ones "without" behavioral issues, were a PAIN IN MY ASS. Sorry. They were. But I also did really great on my first paper. So I both whined and bragged a teense on this special spot:

and seriously, THANK YOU to SEVENTY of my friends who took a few seconds to pat me on the back, offer words of encouragement and love, and let me know that they think I'm special. Honestly, thank you.


2. My first visit EV-AH to...
Ann took me, as I still have this living room to furnish. We ate lunch there (Swedish meatballs, anyone?) and I was seriously wowed by the sheer massiveness of this store. I wasn't too into their furniture, but DEAR FATHER ABRAHAM AND HIS SEVEN SONS! their organizational equipment is out of this world. Seriously, when I die, I want to be buried in an Ikea organizational compartment of some sort. I got some great ideas for my pantry and kitchen drawers, and when I wasn't distracted by my constantly bickering children, I silently began a mental overhaul of said areas.

3. Harry's Law. I've been eagerly anticipating this program. I love crime shows, but most of the ones on TV are too graphic for me. I find them depressing. This one looked like it had some moxie, some spunk, a touch of humor, good storylines, and a solid cast. Good call, Andrea. Good call. I loved EVERY SECOND of it! Now I have something to look forward to on Monday nights. Aside from my nurturing and uplifting Family Home Evenings, of course.