Say WHAT?

We had a young man over for dinner last night who is teaching Jordan to play the guitar. This young man is very nice, very socially-polished, and a smidge hairy. He has a unibrow, which to his credit, he keeps nicely groomed. But there is a thick brow there. Keola, who many of you may have noticed, also has a unibrow. He was fascinated with this young man's unibrow, and kept staring at it. Finally, Keola says, "You and me are kinda the same because we both have... you know..." and he looks at the guy's eyebrows. Then Keola tactfully points out, "Your arms are hairier though."

Out of the mouths of babes, right? Oh it only gets better. My oldest child, who recently became schooled in matters of maturation, decides to point out this gem: "You guys are not alike, Keola, because you don't have pubic hair."

I literally choked on my food, and began to cry because I was so embarrassed. Tears streaming down my face, trying to negotiate the mouthful of enchilada, I stare at my child. He says, "What? He doesn't. Just look at his arms!" At that very moment, I realize that my genius child thinks pubic hair is the hair you get anywhere on your body once you go through PUBERTY. Pits, chest, legs, arms... yes. Pubertic hair may have been a better choice of words, even if it ISN'T really a word.

Also, on another random note, I don't actually go to the movies. About once a year I'll take the kids to see something, but I really hate going to the movies. I can't remember the last grown-up movie I saw in theaters. Dreamgirls? I would much rather stay at home and watch it on Netflix in my pajamas, laying in bed with my husband. Movie theater food is so disgusting, and everyone wants to eat it. I have issues with watching people pig out on crap. It makes me feel anxious and annoyed. So seeing all these people walking around with giant greasy popcorn tubs, giant boxes of candy, and enormous cups of soda just sets me up for crankiness. And the kids expect to be able to eat all that, do you realize how much money that wastes? Not to mention the life savings I just forked out for the tickets. Seriously, what happened to $3.50 per person? What in the hell am I paying seven bucks a pop for??? Then the screen is so huge and all the motion up there just sets up my vertigo for an episode. Plus someone always has to get up and go use the bathroom, climbing all over me. Or go get more popcorn in the "endless refill tub". The whole thing is too much for me, and it feels good to finally go public with that.

I know, I'm a great big can of party.