I DID A WEDDING!

I photographed my first wedding. I was really nervous, because if you mess up anything at a wedding, there's no "do-over" or "complimentary re-shoot". But as it turns out, things went well. I have more pictures posted on my Facebook if you care to see them. WOOOO! I'm feeling good about it, but don't really want to do weddings again. Although I have another one in May, for our old babysitter. But that's the last one. For real.

Since Back in tha Day

Tiff and Dawn were my roommates in college. The fact that we are still friends even after they lived with me is a testament to their grace and patience. They are really fantastic women, so much fun to be around, and I LOVE THEM! Dawn, whom you may remember is a marathoning maniac, came here to do her 20th marathon. Yeah. I know. You should click over to her site and read about it. She ran up a mountain in three feet of snow. Frankly, I was wiped driving my minivan down the dirt trail to pick her up, but whatevs. Anyway, because she was coming here, Tiff planned a trip in as well, and we had a really, really great weekend together.

I gotta say, though, the highlight was our brunch before they left. We were at a REALLY fantastic cafe in Seattle, and we were seated right at the bar. We watched the chef making all the meals, and chatted her up a bit just for fun. So eventually, this little wisp of a thing says to us, "So. How do you ladies know each other?" To which we replied, "Oh, college."

Wait for it people...

She said...

"Oh yeah? Where do you guys go to school? U-Dub?"

Yeah. Pretty much we still look like we are college girls, right? RIGHT? My ego blew the roof off that place at that moment. It was huge.

We, of course, informed her that we were a teense older than that, with a combined total of 14 kids between us, and that we usually go to bed at 10:00 on most nights, and um, we're actually... old.

Anyway. I love you girls. We've had some CRAZY times together, most of which will remain locked in a mental vault labeled "Shhhh..." Brandie, we missed you.

We've never done a girls weekend before. All I can say is if you have some girlfriends, you should get away with them once in awhile. It is good for your soul. We are not gossipy, and I love having real, meaningful conversation about things that matter. It is so refreshing!! So call your girlz up, make a date, and make it happen. Totally worth it.

DO NOT DISTURB

If you know me at all, you will know that I am a slave to slumber. Eight hours a night is my bare minimum. Perhaps it's because I have freakishly low iron levels, or perhaps it's because I so enjoy laziness... either way, in bed by 10:30, asleep by 11:00, up at 7:am. That's how I roll.

I can excuse infants, and perhaps even toddlers from disrupting this regimen I hold so dear. They're young; they're needy; for a time, their very sustenance was attached to my chest. I whined, I cried, but I got up when they needed me. I did this for several years.

Fast forward to the here and now. My two youngest are about to have birthdays. They will be 10 and 8. I have worked hard to teach them the important things in life, like DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT KNOCKING ON MY DOOR BEFORE 7AM. Lately, however, it seems they've regressed to their childish ways. And I am NOT happy about it.

This morning, the knocks came at 6:30 and again at 6:45. "What's fifteen minutes?" you may ask. Fifteen minutes is three 5-minute intervals of sleep, and I demand every bit of it. My initial response was to scream at my door "I'M SLEEPING IN HERE!! GO AWAY!" But I tried that all last week, and clearly it's not working.

Enter My Brilliance. I ignored the knocks and stayed in bed until 7:00. Then I got up, got dressed, and calmly walked downstairs.

"Good morning, children."

"Hi mom!"

"What time did you knock on my door this morning?"

"6:30," says one.

"6:45," says the other. (Are you as aghast as I that they were keenly aware of this??)

"Hmmm. Is that BEFORE or AFTER 7:00?"

"After?"

"Yes. What's the rule about mornings?"

"Don't wake you up until after 7:00 on school days?"

"Yes. What time will you be going to bed tonight?"

"The regular time?"

"Welllll... no. I will need some extra time for myself this evening, as you both took time away from me this morning. Noe, you may go to bed at 6:30 tonight; Keola, you may go at 6:45. In the future, whatever time you knock on my door will be the time you go to bed in the evening. How does that work for you?"

"It sucks."

"Do we use that word in our house?"

"No ma'am."

"Thank you. Enjoy the rest of your breakfast."

Please. Hold your applause. I'm trying to take a victory nap.

Secret Millionaire

Have you seen this new program? It's been on for a few weeks now, I think. And it's been nagging at me for at least that long. I refuse to watch it, but I've seen trailers. That said, perhaps my judgments are unfair since I'm basing them solely on 45 second clips. Still...




The premise is these wealthy folks (really, super, ultra wealthy) "give up" their life of luxury for ...wait for it... SIX WHOLE DAYS to go be poor. Of course we all know how the tug-at-your-heartstrings fairytale ends: the millionaires write a check to the poor people's charity, and hundreds of lives are made better because of it. On the surface, I get that. But here's the thing. What is the real purpose of this show? To bring awareness to struggling areas of our nation? I think that's how the press release would read. Let's be honest though. It's to make us tune in, cry a little, then feel warm and fuzzy watching the poor people receive their handout. And the ratings will soar, because Americans want to feel warm and fuzzy, and we want to feel like in the middle of financial crises, there's hope.

Here's my beef. You saw this coming. These "secret" millionaires are suddenly supposed to "know what it's like" to be destitute or impoverished after six days in a roach-infested apartment eating at soup kitchens? They have a finite glimpse into this window through the comfortable lens of their multi-million dollar eyes. They are going home in less than a week. I can think of few things more degrading, disrespectful, or condescending than to parade into someone's life of poverty, throw some pity money at them, and then fall back into your lap of luxury.

I could perhaps buy into this show if these millionaires made a permanent lifestyle change; if they sold some of their toys, rolled up their sleeves, and started implementing policies and programs that MATTER in people's lives. I really feel there needs to be a more even distribution of wealth in our country, although we all know it would be political suicide for anyone who attempted to legislate it.
I don't begrudge these folks their financial status for a minute. But when they step into the spotlight under these circumstances, then yes. Yes I do. They say this show will "remind us all that the greatest gift we can ever get is the chance to give." Also, "ABC will break down barriers, and close the gap between the haves and have-nots." Really? REALLY?? The chance to give $45K (on national television with all of America watching you) is really awesome. And when this show is over, and the gap has been "closed" for one week at a time, then what? What's the follow-up plan here? Who's going to stick around to empower these people once the donations run dry? Who's going to fight for social policy change that balances out this completely inequitable institutionalized poverty??

The racial component also eats at me. Here come the rich whites, into the poor black neighborhoods. One clip shows the millionaire white woman referring to two senior citizens, black women, as "seriously so cute" for the work they're doing with youth and music programs. Let's try some real adjectives, like "courageous" or "dedicated" or "selfless". But CUTE? I wanted to slap her.

Bottom line: I'm happy to see some deserving charities receive donations. I am disgusted at the feeling of exploitation that this show seems to exude. Do we need radical change in our social programs? Absolutely. Is this a 100% bad way to do it? I'll settle for 98.5% bad.

Big Willie Style...

A friend that I grew up with recently went to hear Bill Clinton speak. Go check out his thoughts on the speech by clicking here. Very enjoyable.

Unless you're a Republican. Then maybe not so much.

Things You Hate To Love...

Otherwise titled, "Grow Old With Me."

My ladylove, Lisa, recently wrote a post detailing how, in days gone by, she disliked a variety of things such as avocados, Aerosmith, Justin Bieber, and me. And then, crazy thing, life passes a bit, and suddenly you realize that maybe the things that so turned your stomach now bring you great joy. And while you kinda hate to admit it, at the same time, you feel good about your new found discoveries.

Do you have such a list? I do. Ohhhh boy, I do.

1. Water. My mom used to drink water all the time, and I thought it was so unadventurous of her. Glass of water with supper? PLEASE. There was juice or milk! Why would I choose water? And now... my 48 oz stainless steel bottle and I are seldom parted.

2. Going to bed early. I don't know about you, but my lame parents spent their weekend nights lounging on the couch, watching some tv, and then went to bed by 10 or 11:00. They DIDN'T EVEN GO OUT WITH THEIR FRIENDS! Seriously. Appalling to a 15 year old. Now, at 37, I find it brilliant. Indeed, I look forward to it.

3. Marvin Gaye. He sang Sexual Healing...ewwww... gross!!

-Not no mo'.

4. Beans. They made me gag. Red beans especially. One night, a certain female parent I know may have even forced them down my throat.
God bless the hamhock, which made the beans flavorful, which gave me great joy in ladling them over piping hot white rice sometime within the past 15 years of my life.

5. Frugality. Humiliating and STUPID as a teen. Brilliant, necessary, logical, satisfying to me now.

There are more, but it's 10:10 and as per aforementioned item number 2, I gotta go to bed.

How about you? What did you roll your eyes at and now sheepishly embrace?

Secret Admirer...

Either I need to wash my dishes faster,

or take my car to the car wash.

But until I do, I'm appreciating the love.

Healing. And Not.

Adele. Her voice wraps around my head like velvet. This song is "Hiding My Heart" and it completely captures the complexity of falling in love with my husband, and the fear that lives in my heart that he will be taken from me. When you choose the military as a career, you are supposed to learn how to live with that fear in a manageable way. I'm not so good at it. It has become increasingly difficult since Ann lost Conrad. It is compounded by recent hateful comments about the hope for his death and the money that comes with it. I have been so angry lately about the inability of certain people to put aside their own issues and focus on a bigger picture. Anxiety has returned as my constant companion. I find I have to start back at the beginning in my search for peace, assurance and understanding. Perhaps all of that is not mine to receive just yet. I worry so much about our kids, being caught in the crossfire of the insanity.

Anyway. Lots going on in my mind right now. Listen to the song, and see what it makes you feel.

Philadelphia Youth Solutions Project

Do you have people that you secretly admire? And by "admire" I mean "seriously wish you could live the life of..."? I am currently identity-envying my amazing cousin, Maria. She is from Massachusetts, like me, but now lives in the Philadelphia area where she is a sociology professor at St. John's University. She has written and published books on poverty in our nation, and she gets to deal with significant issues on a regular basis. She makes a difference.
She founded a project called The Philadelphia Youth Solutions Project. I want to do things like this in my life. I often wonder how my life's goals and aspirations fit in to my actual life. I guess time will tell.
Please check out her website. I realize if you don't live in Philly, it's probably not that important to you. Are there issues in your community that you can help tackle? Find a way to get involved.

Day TWENTY ONE... It's Finallly OVER!!

So we didn't tell the kids that Skip was coming home today. Observe:
(enter password HOME for the first video. the rest i locked up, sorry.)



It was so awesome. I could hardly stand to videotape it because I wanted to jump on him so bad. Noe has not left his side. See:







And now, I'm on blogging holiday for awhile, savoring this honeymoon phase while it lasts. Honestly, thank you to everyone who checked in on us, sent texts, emails, messages, called, etc. I have been blessed with out of this world friends. I'm a lucky woman in a lot of ways.

Day Twenty

Today's highlight:

This is the last night I will sleep alone.

Nuff said.

Day Nineteen

Highlights of today:

1. Formed a thesis for my next paper: "Critical multiculturalism helps prevent the assimilation of minority groups and is an essential approach to diminishing the institutionalized racism inadvertently perpetuated by teachers."
Fun with the big words, huh? My goal right now is to seriousy figure out how to appropriately use the words "ontological" and "epistemological". I've looked them up a thousand times, and I just can't quite figure out the difference between the two. I'm toying with the idea of asking my professor... but I don't want to look STOOPID.

2. That's all. Seriously. My entire day was spent reading and writing. I did volunteer at the kids' school today, but other than that, I only did school. Therefore, I have no highlights. I'm actually turning the comments off for this post, because it is so unbelievably boring, that no one should even feel obligated to say anything.

Day Eighteen

Wow. Eighteen seems like a lot. Today was nice. Here are the highlights:

We made Annemarie's French Toast Cups for breakfast. Seriously, she's totally right- all the yumminess of French Toast, no messy griddle or trying to get everyone's cooked at the same time. Her Taste Buds blog is loaded with yummy recipes. I can't believe I've missed out on it for TWO YEARS. Where have I been, Annemarie? (Maybe in Witness Protection with your sister...)


We took a little outing to the falls. We haven't seen them since we've moved here, but have heard they were nice. Indeed, they were.

You know what I love? When my kids are enjoyable to be around. When they don't bicker, disobey, or whine. When they just act like nice, pleasant human beings. That was today. Just three nice people sharing the day with me. This picture is funny because there was a guy there with THOUSANDS of dollars of camera equipment, shooting the falls. I was like FINALLY, someone I can hand my camera off to, and count on getting a nice, focused shot.

He focused. Too bad he forgot to check if everyone's face was in the frame. Oh well. I'm sure his pictures of the falls were lovely.

Mika took this picture of Noe and I. I love it. It wasn't posed or anything. Actually, we were getting ready to pose for him, and he happened to snap this. Which is good, because the one that we posed for, he only got about 1/8 of our faces in it.

Since my man has coverage with his phone again, I got to talk to him throughout the day, and lots of texts. And this, of course, is a super highlight of my day.

Last, for those who wanted the zucchini bisque recipe, here it is. I used to eat it in Portugal when I was cold and soaked to the bone. We would stop by the Driggs' house, speak a little English, dry out our socks, warm ourselves, and fill our tummies. I still feel loved when I eat this soup!!

1 cube butter
1 onion, chopped
10 c. unpeeled , sliced zucchini
2 c. chicken broth
1 c. half and half
salt and pepper to taste
1 dash nutmeg (no more)

Simmer squash, butter, onion, and broth until squash is tender. Put through blender. Add cream. Serve hot or cold. Consistency is pleasant and thick. Color is soft jade and its zippy flavor is also excellent cold.

Notes: You can substitute 2 chicken bouillon cubes and 2 c. water for the broth.
For a more lo-cal version, decrease butter and use low fat milk.(which is what I usually do)
I also use a Braun handheld blender right in the pan, so I don't have to pour the hot mixture into the big blender. Much faster, and less mess, plus I don't worry about the hot liquid splashing and burning.

Day Seventeen

Music made everything make sense today. We were doing chores. We always put on our "FUN" playlist for chores. My Boy was stuck today. Stuck in anger and frustration and negativity. And it was making me really mad. But you know the drill, right? You can't engage. It gets you nowhere. And right when I was contemplating sending a scathing text to my husband, (because clearly it's his fault for being gone), this song comes on:


Well, it was the Lady GaGa version, but I couldn't stomach the video of her trampy self, so I opted for hottie Daughtry instead. But I digress. It was like the ipod was speaking to me.

"Can't read my, Can't read my, no you can't read my Poker Face..."

You can be angry inside, but figure something out, fast, so you can bluff your way through this moment with your stuck kid. So with Lady GaGa driving her pounding beat into our heads, we decide a quick cool down upstairs is in order. I'm still smiling, at least with my Poker Face. He knows he's removing himself from the moment, a chance to save face. He goes.

Here comes Pink. RAISE YOUR GLASS.

"Don't be fancy, just get dancy, why so serious? Raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways, all my underdogs... We will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty gritty..." He's my kid. I love him fiercely. He and I will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty gritty. It's who we are. Are we going to fight it every day? Or embrace it? Find joy in our crazy noise? You can only cry so often about how hard things are. Then you get up and just get dancy.




He comes back down, still rigid, but wanting to feel good again. He still has to do a strong-sit; 9 minutes, cross-legged, to let his body relax. Bruno Mars wants something different. I hold out my hand. "If I dance with you, do I still have to do a strong sit?" "Nope. " So we dance. And as loud as I can sing, I tell him,
"When you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile... because you're amazing, just the way you are." He makes a gagging face when Bruno says "Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she'd let me." I gag back, then try to kiss him. He tries to spin me like a ballerina. I dip him like a chicken nugget in honey mustard. His smile is back, and I know his heart is as full of good stuff as mine is. That happy spirit is back in our kitchen. Recognize it, welcome it, embrace it.


Let the music play.

Day Sixteen

Really a super day all-around. Insanely busy, but great.

1. Texted with my hilarious stepson. Told him "I miss Dad like crazy!" He replied, "Welcome to the club, sister. You bring the decaf, I'll bring the donuts." Love that kid.

2. Had the most fascinating class discussion today on constructing racial identity. I'm so intrigued by the concept of white privilege and how it applies to me. I'm also amazed at how prevalent institutional racism is in so many places in this country. I am eating this class up, and think my professor is a brilliant woman who is going to make this course so worthwhile.

3. My kids had about a billion friends over tonight for supper (orange chicken with rice in lettuce wraps... yummm!) and to watch The Fantastic Mr. Fox. I thought the movie was really weird.

4. SOMEONE came out of black ops...ooooooh... tonight and was able to call me on his cell phone. He's listed in my contacts as Mr. Lova Man, and I haven't seen that name flash across my screen in 2 weeks. It was a total treat. I got a little misty when I showed the phone to Keola, and he literally smiled from ear to ear. He was so excited to talk to him, he couldn't stop smiling.

5. Confirmed with my amazing marathoning college roommate/BFF that she is doing a race out here in March. Which means I get to see her. Which means my other college girlz are going to try really hard to come out too. Which means GIRLZ WEEKEND FOR ME!!

6. Found out they shaved a week off of the training exercise; so this will turn into a 21 day adventure instead of 28. Nothing could spoil a day when you get news like that!!