One of my favorite hymns in the LDS church is "More Holiness Give Me" because heaven knows, I could use a lot more divine qualities in my life.I decided I would find the local church and attend today. Turns out it was right across the street from the Yale campus. I drove up, and found 12 parking spaces in the lot. Not 12 available, but 12 total. My assumption is most people walk. It was right in the heart of the city. And the diversity in the congregation was fantastic!
We sang some hymns in English, some in Spanish. (My Spanish is getting a real workout over here) After every hymn, some of the members would yell out "AMEN! SING IT!" LDS hymns aren't the most rousing, but I can see where old habits die hard. There were a few young Yale couples there, but mostly just a very diverse group of locals.
I realize that no matter where you attend your church meetings, the doctrine is the same. The spirit is the same. But there is something inside of me that pulls me towards diversity. When I came home from my mission, I attended the little Cape Verdean branch in my stake every chance I got. And I loved feeling so useful! I love to be among newly converted church members. The learning is new, it's exciting, and often times you can do it in a foreign language! I love that.
I do love the ward I attend now, although I will admit that I am very much like everyone else there. There is little diversity, and no opportunity to use any of my language skills. Is it wrong to feel like I have more to offer? I enjoy the work I currently do 
in the nursery, and I am diligent about my responsibilities there. But I long to do more. I want to live in a place where there is sharing of culture, where I can learn and use more languages, where I truly feel needed. For as long as I can remember, that has been something that makes me happy, and something I have sought opportunities to do. Is that wrong? Does it mean I'm not satisfied with my current situation? I don't think so. But like the hymn says, "more used would I be..." I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll never join the Peace Corps. But I fear the skills and talents I have been blessed with have been packed away. I'm anxious to find a way to use them. Is there a line in that hymn that says "more patience give me"? Maybe our next move will find me there.
in the nursery, and I am diligent about my responsibilities there. But I long to do more. I want to live in a place where there is sharing of culture, where I can learn and use more languages, where I truly feel needed. For as long as I can remember, that has been something that makes me happy, and something I have sought opportunities to do. Is that wrong? Does it mean I'm not satisfied with my current situation? I don't think so. But like the hymn says, "more used would I be..." I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll never join the Peace Corps. But I fear the skills and talents I have been blessed with have been packed away. I'm anxious to find a way to use them. Is there a line in that hymn that says "more patience give me"? Maybe our next move will find me there. 
16 comments:
I totally get that! I miss diversity here in Utah.. A LOT. I am the only brown person for miles!!! :)
My parents served as missionaries in an inner city ward in SLC. They LOVED it. Is there anything like that close to you?
That is so cool that the members would yell amen and "sing it". I do think what you describe sounds ideal. I would love to be immersed in a new culture and feel really needed. One of the drives for me in getting my nursing license renewed is the dream of one day starting up a vaccination clinic in some African country. As a Caucasian American I feel so plain, spoiled and boring all at the same time.
You are probably more needed than you think you are right where you are now. Your appreciation of diversity and other cultures will always be a blessing. And perhaps there is more diversity in your current situation than you think- it may just take digging a little deeper as you get to know people, their circumstances, and where the come from. Okay, that sounds so much like a "mom" answer.
"More Andreas do we need in New England"...move back!!!
I have been to that branch at Yale (at least it was one 12 years ago) I think we must be related because I often feel the same way about the world and how small the space I live in feels and how incredibly Big my desire to do and help seems to be. Although, the languages..well lets just say after 4 years of French the only fluent thing I can say is "write the date at the top of the paper".
Move to my stake (preferably my ward)...you would be needed very very much!
We're in an east coast ward that's still pretty vanilla. (Except for the lady who brings her dog to church in a baby stroller and a few lady pants wearers.) But we had that exact experience when we attended the branch in Providence. Just a handful of parking spots, wonderfully diverse dress and faces and accents (everything was in English and Portugese). It feels like the essence of what it's all about, boiled down to loving each other and serving each other. With a few 'amens' + 'sing its' thrown in for good measure.
See you soon!
funny. my parents are in a little ward where a lot of the people are hispanic and my mom is primary president, chorister, piano player, teacher, nursery leader and any other calling in primary that you can think of and sometimes she just wishes she were in utah with a big congregation where she could escape.
I love diversity! I love that Hymn too! It is nice to visit a ward that is out of the ordinary. To me it makes my testimony grow, because the gospel is the same no matter where you are in the world.
I feel the same about thinking you have more to offer and wishing you had the opportunity to give of yourself more. There is a good talk by Neal Maxwell called "content with the things alloted unto us" or something and he talks about how much we can and don't do within our allotted sphere and we should do those things instead of being like Alma and wishing to convert all (or go outside of our sphere to do more). Anyway, it's good you feel that way- it's a righteous desire. Too bad we can't always do all we want to do though. Good job going to church. Ok, this is too long now. Bye.
I hear you sister. All i have to say is, all in good time...just remember that you are in a 20 year phase of mommyhood right now...and you're already half way through that! Well, almost half way. There is still lots of life ahead of you, which will bring plenty of opportunities. This phase will pass us by way too fast and then when you're sitting in a chapel somewhere in Africa, you'll be thinking about those days in Idaho when the kids played in the snow in June 2008 and that one lady in the ward that you helped through a rough spot. that's my soapbox.
One of the reasons we love the Army lifestyle is that diversity is the name of the game. Our kids have no concept of what "normal" is in relation to color or ethicity or even religion. No offense to those in Utah but that just isn't a place we want our kids growing up. We like it out here.
I know what you mean.
And yes, I think that there is a line about patience in that song.
I'm feeling a bit useless in my new ward where diversity is minimal and I think that they will have to "make up" a calling for me and my husband because everyone is so dang on the ball when it comes to the logistics of church service.
I do remember being part of a ward that had a lot of diversity which was great but exhausting at the same time because the leadership resources were scarce. Is there such thing as a happy medium?
I feel that way SOOO much!! I keep telling John how much I want to move out of state and go somewhere else. I really enjoy pushing myself out of my comfort zone even though it's really hard sometimes. Every time I feel like I want to move, I get the little whisper that I need to stay where I am. Sigh. What do you do?
I really think your desires are amazing, however. It's so fun getting to know you more...
I like your way of thinking! You inspire me to want to do more.
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