Big C, little c, What Begins With C?

I do enjoy a good blog read. A really good one is my new friend and spooning partner, Celia. Celia is funny, and a little off in her thinking. I mean, the stuff she comes up with is just OUT THERE sometimes. And I love every minute of it. But it has often caused me to wonder about her husband. Is he like Celia at all? Does he really appreciate her sense of humor? Is he funny like she is? Are they a good match, or do they drive each other nuts? So I figured I would go straight to the big kahuna myself and make my inquiries. Following is an interview I held with Big C.



*True to form, when I asked little c for her husband's email address, she spent days hacking into his account waiting for the questions to arrive. She then swiped them, and replied in her own words on her blog. Head over for the Paul Harvey version of the story...

TOP TEN QUESTIONS FOR BIG C:

1. You may or may not be aware that your wife is wildly popular on the blogging circuit. We know why we all love her… what do YOU feel is her most endearing quality? Please give an example.
Celia just wants to have fun. She’s always scheming up a new adventure. Like last week when I noticed her “to do” list said, “Buy tickets to Hawaii.” My reaction was, “Who’s going to Hawaii now?”

2. You appear to be more reserved, perhaps even conservative. Celia, on the other hand… not so much. Is that an accurate assumption, and if so, can you ‘splain me dat, Lucy?

It’s true that Celia is an extrovert, but she’s actually too young to have watched I Love Lucy in her youth, so that can’t be her inspiration. Also, I’m Scotch, not Puerto Rican. Celia works to live; I live to work. It all works out.

3. Celia occasionally references the relationship between you and her sisters. Care to comment on the real nature of the beast?
Let’s just say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

4. What is the key to your marital success?
We respect each other’s role in the marriage. I’m in charge of making the money; Celia’s in charge of spending the money.

5. Who is funnier: Big C or little c?
That depends on your taste for humor. Celia usually doesn’t get too personal in her humor. For example, she’ll poke fun at anyone who’s ever worn white in a family photo. On the other hand, when I make a joke, it’s funnier, but also in very bad taste and not at all politically correct.

6. If you could change one thing about your wife, what would it be? (A safe answer might involve the words “Depeche Mode” )
Depeche Mode? That puts me in vomit mode. I do wish she loved Led Zeppelin as much as I do. However, it’s okay because I’ve sent our kids through my own School of Rock and now we outnumber her.

7. When did you realize that you wanted to ask Celia to marry you?
Do you know the story about free milk and the cow? Or maybe it was when I discovered that she had a better car than I did. She had a brand new, Chinese red Mazda MX-6. I was driving an old Toyota with a Taco Bell color scheme.

8. What is your favorite meal, as “prepared” by your wife? (we all know about her faux-made dishes)
Once a year, she insists on making my special birthday cake for me. It’s a white cake with cream cheese and whipping cream frosting, topped by a can of pie cherries in syrup. She thinks it’s disgusting and everyone hates it but me, but it’s OK since it’s my birthday. It’s about 13,000 calories, and I eat the whole thing.

9. Please detail the plans you would make for Celia’s Ultimate Romantic Getaway. Be sure to include specific dates so she can clear her calendar.
My parents’ house has been added on to so that it now has a bedroom in the very center of the house. It has big glass doors on one side and a thin wood door on the other. That would be my first choice, but we’ve done it so many times already.
Celia would like to stay on the Central California coast, doing nothing but sleep, read, and eat. I’m good with that.

10. If you could take this opportunity to say anything to your wife (knowing it will be read by a couple hundred of her closest friends) what would you say?
Is it possible to make money blogging? Could we sell advertising space on your blog or maybe charge admission?

Well... I'm still waiting for the mysteries of Big C to be unlocked. But until he starts his own blog (which I heard he's seriously considering doing) we'll just have to settle for his carefully chosen words in this online interview. Little c... looks like sixteen years well-invested. I say keep him around. Big C... thanks for your time. I only had to pester you twice for the responses. Not bad.