Today they had soft pretzels with nacho cheese dip for lunch. They seemed to enjoy it, and the fine cuisine allowed conversation to flow freely. Here's what I heard:
BOY (to girl): So Jesus lives in heaven with his parents. Didja know that?
GIRL: No.
BOY: Oh yeah. He's up there with them.
GIRL: That isn't real.
BOY: OHYESITIS! Are you kidding? He doesn't have a wife though. Just Jesus and his mom and dad.
GIRL: There's no such thing as Jesus.
BOY: Um, yeah there iiiiiiis. Duh. And pretty soon sometime I don't really know when, he's gonna come back and get all of us and take us to heaven with him.
GIRL: Nuh-uh.
BOY: Yeah-huh. And since you don't believe in him, you're gonna be in big trouble because he's gonna make you invisible.
GIRL: WHAT?!
BOY: Yeah. Jesus is coming in a big cloud. And everyone who believes in him gets to go back up to heaven with him. And everyone who doesn't believe in him gets made invisible and then they have to go YOU-KNOW-WHERE. Plus, if you get to go with him, he's gonna give you a new body. I'm gonna try and get a Chinese one.
GIRL: Well then you can't talk to anyone because no one knows how to talk Chinese.
BOY: No, he's gonna make it so everyone can talk the same language.
GIRL: You're making all this up.
BOY: EVERYONE AT THIS TABLE WHO BELIEVES IN JESUS RAISE YOUR HAND!
most hands go up
BOY: See. I told you it's real. Everyone knows it. You must not be a Christian.
GIRL: I don't even know what that is. Wanna play chase at recess?
BOY: Yeah.
25 comments:
We get to choose what kind of body we get?!? Hot damn...
I've always hoped that my perfected body would be 5"8" and weigh 120 lbs. And my legs would be really long. I'm not that excited about becoming Chinese.
Classic. How hard did you have to try not to burst out laughing?
And now I'm totally wanting to go to amazon and order 24 cans of nacho cheese sauce.
That is an awesome story. Kids have absolutely no fear or doubt.
Today Jackson was at his friend's house and his mom told me that upon smelling coffee and asking what the smell was, he declared to his friends that, "We don't drink coffee!" Luckily my friend is quite familiar with LDS beliefs and could appreciate his faith.
Oh how I miss teaching!!!
I seriously died laughing when I read how he wants a Chinese body.
ME TOO!
They have great skin and are naturally skinny.
I remember trying sooo hard not to laugh out loud at stuff kids said to me.
ah, they're learning the "quick! change the subject before it gets too awkward" strategy so young these days.
Well, he's not ashamed of the gospel. That is priceless. I busted out laughing at this story.
This is so damn funny!! Love how a child's mind thinks! I can't wait to choose my body...can I have mine just perfected? ;)
Awesome. Especially the chinese boy part! Who wants to be chinese? Also I loved the part when he had everyone raise their hands. Kids are the best.
I'm hoping to have big boobs and sing well. Seriously.
I am just wondering if you had a tape recorder to remember all of this. Sadie's favorite meal is pretzels and cheese dip. We forgo the home lunch for this baby.
Well...at least he didn't mind playing chase with a nonbeliever.
That was fabulous! I love how he is, "gonna try and get a Chinese one". It makes me think of those Bride wars shows where lots of ladies run to get the perfect wedding dress. It is almost like the thinks you can bumrush past the, "pearly gates" and pick your body.
Hilarious! I'm so glad you heard the whole conversation.
I haven't yet experienced elementary school food lunch so please excuse my ignorance, but is a pretzel and nacho sauce really the main part of the lunch?
I'm counting on taking some of my body with me. I'll be pretty ticked if my boobs go back to what they were before the surgeon got his hands on them.
I love to find humor in children's conversations. I also love how chldren won't back down when someone listening disputes what they are saying. Next time you eat in the school cafeteria fill us in on what you hear.
I want to be a missionary now. I don't want to wait until I'm grown... Hey WE never got pretzels with dip! :)
I love volunteering in the classroom for this reason. The conversations you hear are spectacular. I mean, you can't even make this stuff up its so good.
Too bad all religious conflict can't be settled by a game of chase at recess. Maybe we should suggest this to the Middle East....
Ha! So much more entertaining and truthful than all those boring confirmation hearings in DC. Kid power!
You get to be invisible in YOU KNOW WHERE? That doesn't sound too shabby to me! Sign me up! (As if I haven't already signed myself up plenty of times!)
too funny. i love how kids are real! how literal they take things. he'll get it figured out in adult terms soon enough. just think, he's planted a mustard seed!
I have a couple comments.
First--Nacho cheese and pretzels is lunch???
Second--I am so proud of his parents/primary teachers right now.
Third--It makes me sad that a girl so small doesn't believe in Jesus.
Fourth--I love your job and I wish I had your memory for details. I hear crazy funny things like this and can't recall it 10 minutes later. Well done.
lisha, the irony is that i have ZERO memory skills. i was taking notes on my clipboard because it was so priceless, i didn't want to forget any of it.
That works too.
Can I order a Heidi Klum one?
Note how the girl who bashes Jesus still manages to entice the Christian boy to chase after her.
By the way, I'm picking a black body, for obvious reasons.
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