Our backyard is a huge park, with protected wetland area. The kids can play out there for hours, and it is beautiful. Here are a couple of shots that show you how fabulous it is in the summer.
Okay, enough with the positive spin.
I'm going to go crazy any day now. See the roof on this beautiful home? It's not your traditional wood and shingles number. I'm no home depot genius, but I can tell this roof is made out of some kind of material other than wood. Like maybe metal? Who knows. Tin? Steel? The green plastic from a Lincoln Logs set? Point is, it's the kind of roof that would be really noisy if you hit it repeatedly with a hammer. Or a beak.
Remember in the first paragraph where I talked about the beautiful park and wetland? It draws a lot of cool birds to the area. We have even been nerdy enough to check out books from the library and learn to identify most of these birds.
Earlier this fall, it was discovered there was a section of the house where the walls meet the overhang of the covered porch that had not been properly finished. It was discovered by a couple of freakishly large birds who decided to peck their way through the wood and nest in our attic. We could hear the pecking and it was loud. We couldn't find the holes, however. Finally after about a week, the pecking stopped, but the pitter patter of tiny bird claws over my living room ceiling began. We called "people". The people came, discovered the problem, and took care of it. Don't worry, PETA, it was all done ethically.
Fast forward to, oh, say 6:00 this morning. And 6:00 every morning for the past 2 weeks. Imagine yourself sleeping soundly in your toasty bed while Mother Nature continues to feel confused about what season we are actually in. Now imagine someone sneaking into your room and gently placing a jackhammer on your cranium. Ready? Set? Yeah. Because of whatever material this roof is made of, the noise reverberates like a bad Looney Tunes experience. This morning, it got worse. A second bird, probably the witchy female mate who has been nagging at her male counterpart to hurry up and get their home ready, and who finally said, "Roger, if you can't get this job finished any faster so I can drop YOUR children into a cozy nest, then I will just get it done myself. " joined the melee. I could clearly hear the one hammering directly above my bed, and the second slightly around the corner above my bathroom.
I threw on my robe. I stepped out my sliding glass door onto my deck and grabbed a log of firewood from the stack. I yelled "UUUURRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!" and hurled the log up at the underside of my covered, wrap-around porch. The log hit the underside of the roof and came hurtling back down at me. Since I have cat-like reflexes, I sidestepped the fallout, pleased with the ridiculously loud noise it made. I scared the birds away. This is the 2nd day in a row that I have thrown firewood at my house, and consequently at myself. I am pretty sure the birds are now SUPER pissed off, and will be back again tomorrow with reinforcements.
It's time for me to call my People again. This time, I will not insist upon the following of any PETA guidelines. Bring out the Red Ryders. Prepare to put some eyes out.
16 comments:
We had a similar issue but with cats going at it...if you know what I mean...on the roof of our master bedroom. At firt we would throw pennies, crayons, pens, legos...anything that we could find close by. Then we decided to grab an arsenal of rocks and keep them by the window...but after a while we got tired of doing that so then so we invested in a BB Gun. It worked.
Oh and I downloaded "Boston" the day I read your comment...thanks! I love it!
Stupid man-bird. He assumed that the ol' standby house would still be around.
Too bad your cat-like reflexes can't just take care of those birds once and for all.
But that wouldn't be ethical, would it?
OH, I have always wanted a "Wrap-around" porch!
Okay, back to the issue at hand. I am so torn, I want you to get rid of the birds but, please don't hurt them. (I know I am a softy!)
You totally need a rifle. If it were me...skrew PETA those birds would get shot!
Maybe if your house wasn't such a Love Nest the birds wouldn't have been so drawn to it?
For us it was squirrels. I had squirrel rage and would throw things at the ceiling in the morning when they were scampering around. Squirrels love to scamper. We called people. No more scampering. Good luck!
I'm still stuck at how cool your house and back yard are.
Be careful when you are shooting the birds. Last year Paige's husband went crazy and ended up killing some pigeons that happened to have little ankle bracelets on. Ooops.
I need you to come make costumes for the carrot. I can only think of obscene stuff to do with it.
What a nightmare. We have pigeons and their noises are not pleasant. I hate all birds everywhere. Your home is super beautiful with an amazing yard. I hope you can solve the problem asap.
I know that this is kind of off of the subject but I LOVE your house and those pictures are gorgeous!
I also loved your saying that the roof may or may not be made of the green plastic from a Lincoln Logs set.
That is quite the problem. I'm sorry. Thank goodness for your cat-like reflexes, though. I probably would have been knocked out cold and woken up with a bird's nest built on the back of my head.
Wild life is over-rated. Kill the suckers.
Your house is beautiful. Open space comes with a price.
true story about Jeff and the pigeons. Who knew he was a crack shot? I have a tile roof and a million birds and I HATE them. They build nests non stop and we rip 'em down and they still wake me up. Every Morning. I see we get our crazy from the same place
Wow. Your house really is beautiful. The backyard is amazing, too.
We had a hornets nest in the attic of our Massachusetts home. It took us quite some time to find out why every morning we had a dozen or so new hornets flying around the house. I was too cheap to hire people to figure it out so we co-habitated with these hornets for several months.
The birds sound obnoxious. I love imagining your Looney Tunes reaction though. Like maybe you had the swirlies in your eyes while you pulled your pillow over your head.
We had a woodpecker once who was trying to enlarge the holes left from where the Dish was installed by the previous owners of the house. Of course, it happened to be my bedroom wall. Good luck!
Our problem in these parts are gators. It's alligator mating season. We are constantly reminded to stay away from bodies of water as to not get in the gators way. Yeah right. You tell me how this is going to happen when we are SURROUNDED by water . . . retention ponds, lakes, swimming pools, etc. How about I Fed-Ex you a gator or two and they can eat your birds for breakfast? PETA would have to approve. It would be a 100% culturally diverse move. Instead of letting the gators stick to a diet of boring FL birds, they could start eating birds from another state.
Cayson could come over and take care of those birds for you. He's been wanting to try his shot on something that moves...ha ha.
I so wish there was video of the cat like reflexes dodging the log. Your wrap around porch is so cool.
Oh, your home is beeeautiful! Heidi's comment makes me count my blessings.
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