Is there something wrong with me? Let's analyze the facts:1. I hate talking on the phone.
2. I avoid it at all costs.
3. I seek out any possible alternate mode of communication before I make a call.
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my friends. Back in the olden days when a smoke was a smoke and groovin was groovin, I used to write letters regularly. This was primarily because my dad got really mad at me for running up VERY EXPENSIVE phone bills. Remember toll calls on rotary phones? I made many, many of those. If my dad had been a Love and Logic parent, I would have no college education today, as that fund would've gone to pay for the exorbitant bills I incurred with AT&T.
So what happened? When did I go from LOVING to spend hours and hours chatting about... um... honestly, I have no idea what we talked about for hours and hours in 1989... to ignoring almost every ring that presents itself on my phone? We have caller ID on our home line, and I usually don't even bother to see who's calling because I don't want to talk to them anyway. I answer my cell phone for about 4 people. It is completely preferable for me to let it go to voice mail, and then see what they want, and THEN decide whether or not to call them back.
Is it because people usually want something? Maybe. Am I lazy for not wanting to do whatever it is they're calling to ask me to do? Maybe. Is this normal? I find many of my friends seem to feel the same way, and we seem to have all our conversations via chat, email, blog commenting, or texting. Am I contributing to an erosion of healthy social skills? Or maybe it's just me... maybe no one likes talking to me either, and I'm swimming alone in a sea of non-cellular conversations.
Here's a theory. If you talk in person, you have to confront the reality of awkward silences. If you're totally electronic and there's an awkward silence, you can get up, use the bathroom, grab a snack, come back, edit a few photos, and then pop back into the conversation. Or by email- you can draft what you want to say, come back later and make sure you haven't been too offensive... and then hit send. No more foot-in-mouth!
Maybe I'm just a hermit at heart. Who knows. But the whole thing really is pretty fascinating to me. I would love to hear your thoughts on it all... just don't call me to discuss it.
14 comments:
I'm with ya. I like calls from about 4 people... other than that I like to text. I freaking HATE IT when I text someone and they immediately call me. I just ignore the call. If I wanted to talk, don't you think I'd have called in the first place? I mean, HELLO? Is it that hard to get, or am I just a jerk? Bleh.
Did you steal this post from me because I swear I wrote it. I only answer the phone for my husband, kids and my sister Katie-everyone else goes to voice mail. I'll call them back...maybe. Talking is over rated.
I feel anti social but I totally agree. Our home phone has been broken for the last 12 months... not rushing to buy a new one. I figure if peeps want to track me down they will (and the whole fam would fight over who was going to answer it "you get it ... no you ... Im not home ...)etc.
The fact that I ramble on a blog makes me think I like speaking but not listening... great personality trait NOT!
I found this post completely and totally fascinating.
I think I like talking on the phone less and less because it is hard to get some people off of the phone. Phone conversations require commitment on several levels. You have to watch your tone (for the reasons you listed) an make sure you sound happy...because then you may have to field questions about why you aren't happy...you have to sound interested, even if you are busy. You have to speak for a long enough amount of time...as to not appear abrupt. The, "high tech" forms of communication are quick and concise. When we were young and used to talk on the phone ad nauseum it was only with a select few. So that really hasn't changed.
Also, I think (for me) it may boil down to a feeling of self preservation. I have had bad experiences with people calling because they want something and I have allowed myself to be abused...so now I feel a lot more guared than I used to and don't feel like opening up.
You make me laugh. I love the title of this post and your parting shot, too.
Talking on the phone is simply too hard. There's no such thing as a short conversation. Conversations are only worthwhile when full attention can be devoted to the speaker/listener. And we pretty much know that is rare and next to impossible when you live in a world that DEMANDS every second of your time on a daily basis. When you talked on the phone for hours it was because you HAD NOTHING ELSE TO DO. And we all know that is NOT the case today. I'd actually give anything to have an hour to devote to a good convo. But alas, it's just too hard and heaven knows, multi-tasking is next to godliness.
Sometimes I love phone conversations, sometimes not. I love caller ID for those times I just don't want to talk.
I kind of like secluding myself in a place my kids will never find me to have a great phone conversation. It's almost like a vacation...
I'm with you sister! I hate talking on the phone. I'd much rather text or e-mail.
Texting and email have completely obliterated my ability to carry on a conversation. I'm just much better on paper. I'm also much better in the dark than the light in case you know any single man who wants to know...
My thoughts- (for what they are worth!)
1. talking on the phone makes my ear warm. I don't like that.
2. With the size of cell phones, it is hard to be hands free and multi-task without hitting some button that usually cuts someone off. (or is that my plan to get you to off the line?)
3. I sometimes text while thinking on the throne! (you do to! Admit it! I make sure that my hands are still clean!) That would be gross!
And you wanted to comment. I remember that non- phone conversation vividly!!
I have never met anyone who loathed the phone as much as me. Until now. We are soul sisters, my friend. I prefer email to any and all forms of communication. The phone is my enemy.
Phone talking is lame. It's like washing your laundry with a washboard or filling your sink and (gasp!) washing the dishes by hand. It's for people who have no other alternative. Heck, I don't even listen to my messages anymore. I can't be bothered. If you don't text me, I probably won't call you back for a week or so. I'm just sayin'.
Thank you for speaking my mind! I LOATHE talking on the phone. I refuse to get caller id because it doesn't matter if I know who is calling or not, I still won't answer the phone. What I hate the most is saying goodbye, it's so awkward when I am done but I can't get the other person to realize I am done. So annoying!
I'm pretty sure I've talked to you on the crapper.
I do this with my students. It drives some of them CRAZY that I refuse to talk to them on the phone and force them to email me. They drive ME crazy when I actually do talk to them on the phone and they ramble on endlessly while I've got 500 other things to do. On email I can skim through all the crap I'm not interested in and not have to bother saying "uh-huh"and act interested. Although I do enjoy a good phone chat with a friend :) I get a little bugged when people leave a message without a preview of why they are calling "call me" instead of "call me I am wondering ___________ " (Now look at me ramble on...but the beauty of it all is that you can skim right through the boring parts! :)
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