So. Here I am, home sick. Couldn't go in to work today because I am probably contagious. And unlike some supermoms named Martha who can still accomplish the extraordinary while violently ill, I become a useless mass of nothing. Observe with me the anatomy of my sickroom:
1. Extra comforter. Key component in my attempt to "sweat it out".
2. Laptop. If I'm not leaving bed all day, I gotta have something to do.
3. Sucrets. As my adoring husband so kindly pointed out this morning, those are not actually breath mints, and I may want to consider adding some to my side table.
4. Water: I'm flushing my system. Only it seems to be missing the key area of my sinus cavities.
5. Nasal Four: The spray that keeps me among the living. Literally. I refuse to breathe through my mouth. I find it repulsive, plus it hurts my throat. However, my nose will not actually perform that function for me at this point in time, so I have to coax it along with some decongestant spray.
6. Kleenex: I asked my husband if he could sneak away for lunch today. He said yes. I said, "That's great, because I'm almost out of Kleenex. I'd like you to stop at the store and pick me up some Puffs with Vicks Vapor in them. Thanks." He's such a lamb.
7. Theraflu Warming Relief, Orange Flavor: Dose it up, baby! I just keep a little shotglass on the nightstand. Watch out for the worm.
8. Cell Phone: People like me to call when I'm sick. They like to hear all about it. Especially my husband. Actually, he prefers I call, even when he's in the living room... that way he can avoid my sinus/sucret breath.
9. Bath and Body Works Softest Robe Ever: I'm considering wearing it down to the mailbox to send my Christmas cards today. I can't take it off. It's like a second skin.
10. Extra Pillow: Propping up assists with drainage. This is important. Also, I can type better if I'm propped up.
NOT PICTURED:
-My Vicks Warm Mist Vaporizer. A good cleansing steam contributes to the flushing out process.
-My Vicks Vaporub Mentholatum: I put some on last night, my husband pointed out that it was sort of the antithesis of the Almond Vanilla Warming Massage Oil. He then pointed out that the use of Vaporub was a good indicator that we would be going straight to bed. Sorry to disappoint, my love. Vaporub = no lovn tonight.
So there you have it. I sent my kids off to school today, and I am comfortably quarantined in my sick bay. I think I'll take a nap now.
22 comments:
Even when you're sick, you've still got it! (Truly, you look way too cute to be sick.)
Hope you feel better soon.
annie... it's called "yesterday's makeup." upon closer inspection, you would find it's more racoonish than cute.
I agree with Annie...it makes me want to be sick - you looking so comfy-cozy. Ooh is that a tickle in my throat?
You actually got me all excited about being sick once my kids are all old enough to be in school! When the little ones are home and you feel crappy.. it's just torture.. but all alone, gotta say. it looks kind of cozy and wonderfully lazy.
(P.S. Sinus brreath IS the worst. The last time I was sick I rolled over and said to my husband,"Hey, ya know what?" And he answered, "Um, you were just gonna brush your teeth?"
Do you know what's sad? I found myself looking at your picture thinking: "I wish I could be sick. I want to lay in bed with my computer and my comforter and be LEFT ALONE!"
Then reality hit and I knew that even if I was sick I would never be alone. Kids everywhere.
No. Really. You really are cute. Not fair. Wanna feel better about your sick face? Check my archives, oh , about April of this year. I'm a hideous looking sick girl. You'll feel instantly better!
Take care. I really hope you get rid of this soon. (As does Skip. No more Vaporub!)
This is good. I especially laughed hard at #4.
My post was seriously not about being a super mom, I was just in a really bad mood. The mood worsened by 7pm when I had to drag my sorry self and 4 crying kids down into town again to pick up my much needed antibiotics after waiting hours for my no show husband to relieve me of my super mom duties.
Good thing I didn't write a post at 8pm.
Would this be the same laptop that makes trips to the bathroom with you?
And you wonder why you're sick?
Just kidding - hope you get well soon, my friend.
I swear by Zicam. I like the nasal stuff. That way you don't have to taste it. Send Skip out for some. Happy napping.
Your robe sounds yummy.
I am completely addicted to Mentholatum and Vicks. (Do you ever rub it on your feet and then pull on soft warm socks? Heaven! Better than the vanilla massage oil...I swear.) Get better soon!
I was gonna say what Gabi said, too...I got an e-mail a little while ago that said you should rub Vicks Vapor Rub on your feet and slip on socks...it said to do that if you are coughing...but I think it may help your condition, too.
I agree with the others...you do look cute. I still feel sorry you are sick even though you look cute.
Also, there is Tamiflu...I have heard people say great things about that.
I think you know how to be sick better than anyone I have ever heard. I was going to tell you what I heard about putting vicks on your feet, but you already got that advice. Feel better!
I'm not allowed to be sick. My stinkin' kids won't allow it. The brats.
What a bummer. I HATE to be sick. We have stock piles of Coldeze and Airborne and Nasonex and Vicks vaporub. I have no idea of the first two actually prevent any sickness, but I'll try anything not to be sick.
I hope you feel better soon--like immediately.
I never get sick. I hate that about me. I want to lay in bed and do nothing but feel sorry for myself. You do look good for being on your death bed. And that is some sick-kit you have!! If, by chance, I get sick this year, I want nurse Andrea, (sans the sinus/sucrets breath.)
thank you for the numbered picture. It helps me know where your pillow is. My husband sweats it out too. It's really fun to sleep next to someone sweating it out. Where's your Nyquil? Sickness is no fun without legal narcotics.
I love that poem. I always think of it when considering whether to send my kids to school.
I have the measles and the mumps, a gash, a rash, and purple bumps...
Yes, completely a bummer!!! I hope you're feeling a bit better by today! As always, you find a way to make things such as nasal drainage and sinus pressure laugh out loud funny. Get well!
I feel your pain. You're such a good writer, I can actually imagine it all. And I feel like I'm catching it. Take care!
I love the numbered items in the photo. I have not seen this before. Good trick. Way to be creative even when your sick.
i SO hate to laugh at the sick, but baby...I'M LAUGHING AT YOU RIGHT NOW!!!
Ahem. I mean "with you."
And please. Stop looking cute when you're ill and congested.
I actually popped over from Celia Fae's blog to tell you your ugly styrofoam ornament submission was HILARIOUS!!
Feel Better! I LOVE this picture! Even though you're sick you've still got that wicked since of humor!
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