What's all the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth about? So there's some polygamy going on. So things aren't looking so good. What about the bright side, people? I'm all about the productive marketing aspect. Therefore, I propose
polygamatch.com
your source for additional brides...
This website is dedicated to connecting a potential sect leader with his brides. We guarantee no less than 17 matches for you! Spaces for men are limited. Spaces for women are not. In a test run of the website performed several months ago, the following success stories were submitted:
"Brother Jeb": I done foun' myself troo happyness at polygamatch dot com. Why, me, 'n Stacey, 'n Rebekah, 'n Emma, 'n Caroline, 'n Kaziah's all as happy as we kin be.
"Brother Richard": Before polygamatch.com, I was constantly running into women with opinions. Since joining, I've really been able to connect with some compliant, docile ladies who cook for me, clean for me, and are ready to bear my children.
*Disclaimer: We realize polygamy isn't for everyone. Female applicants must have no self-esteem, one eyebrow, poofy hair where your bangs should be, and a lot of denim dresses. Child-bearing hips and little sisters are also good. Male applicants must be creepy and domineering. No background check required.
21 comments:
This is funny and describes my opinion exactly. Well said!
Polygamist men color-code their wives, so make sure there's a color swatch on every guy's profile, so the women can see what color they will be spending eternity clad head-to-toe in!
This is HILARIOUS! So clever!
Ewwwww...
you're hillarious.
Too funny!!! I laughed hard at this. Ain't it something all this talk about polygamy? Why aren't we amazed, angry and sickened when the same thing happens under another name - adultery/fornication? There just might be another website called Adulterous Love or Fornicators For You.
Annabanana... there already IS a website for adulterous lovers and fornicators. It's called, "Every single dating website on the internet."
I. LOVE. IT! And am so forwarding this site to all my friends. Maybe we can be brides together. :-)
That left me feeling a little eerie, but then I snapped out of it and had a good laugh! Thanks!
I hope some Gab's commenters don't make their way over here...they're not gonna like it.
I'm still giggling!
Hey happyback, I wouldn't know about dating sites on the internet. But I believe it's true if you say it is. If you are Andrea's friend then I know you wouldn't lead me astray. But, tell me, how do you know that about every single dating website on the internet? Just curious.
And you'd better make some money off that site, sister. Sister wives don't come cheap.
Yes. Watch out...there are some militants. Otherwise I think you should send in to Saturday Night Live!
Annabanana, I'm taking the 5th. And changing the subject.
Polygamists? Icky.
I just want someone around to help me clean and referee twin fights-- oh and cook, and maybe go grocery shopping for me. Come to think of it, I would love it if another "wife" would be crafty so that I didn't have to be. And maybe she could clean the cat litter and do the LAUNDRY. I hate laundry.
Hmmm... polygamy has it's good points.
Look, you're all missing something here. These are extra WIVES, not CONCUBINES.
That means, these sainted men have not one, but FIVE women nagging them to take out the trash. FIVE women telling them they're driving the 15-passenger full-size 1978 Chevy van too fast and just missed the exit. FIVE women rolling their eyes off to the side everytime they tell the same joke at barnraising that they told at the LAST barnraising. FIVE women turning them down for sex every night. FIVE women taking a chunk of their paychecks to buy new frumpy-dress material and patterns at the Colorado City Five-n-Dime.
I say, God Bless the man who would take on such a burden!
Aren't we glad to get some male perspective here.
I never knew it was ONdrea. You should change it. PHEW. You just saved me an embarrassing moment at the Looza.
I think Brother Jeb is in my ward.
WAIT, only women (first wives) can join because they get to pick the next wives. And they are in charge. I'd totally sign up.
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