Responding to Tragedy

Everyone handles tragedy in their own ways.  Some people are completely enveloped by it, immersing themselves in every story, photo, and video related to the event.  Others choose to avoid the continual barrage of media coverage, while still fully understanding the magnitude of what has happened.  To some extent, however, we all react with the same emotions; there is anger, confusion, sorrow, and true grief. 

Is it even possible to make sense of what is senseless?  Social media is ablaze with people trying to do just that, from one extreme to the next.  One friend says he'll tweak if he hears anyone say this was part of a divine plan, while another friend writes a poem about the children as angels.  Is one right and the other wrong?  I work in an elementary school.  I know children take their cues from adults, and feel an increased responsibility to make sure mine are accurate and honest, while still being measured and sincere.  Laying in bed on Friday night, I gave in to my tears and asked my husband, "Can you imagine as a parent, showing up at the meeting place to reunite with your child, and not seeing them among the survivors?"  The thought makes my heart pound and my body sweat.  My husband replied, "Why would I want to imagine that?"  My first thought was to tell him he is insensitive and disconnected.  But then I realized, he has dealt with horrific tragedies in war, and his own emotional well-being is based on an ability to disconnect from things he cannot control. 

I have a friend whose husband is dying of cancer.  They have three sons still at home, and he was in the prime of his career when diagnosed.  My cousin's 3 year old daughter is dying from a disease I am completely unfamiliar with, and every day she she loses a little more of the child she gave birth to.  Another friend recently lost her unborn twin sons.  I have sat with recently-widowed military wives, who will now raise children without fathers.  Are their situations any better or worse than the tragedy in Connecticut?  Tragedy is a part of this life.  We cannot control it.  It forms in our cells and grows to diseased tumors.  It walks through our doors with weapons and rage.  It is real, and most of us spend our days bargaining with God to let it pass us by in exchange for our compassion and support towards those whom it hits.

And perhaps that is the best we can do... measure our response to tragedy so that we do our part to try and provide balance on this scale of good vs. bad.  There is a quote that has become an integral part of our Coping Tool Kit.  Mr. Rogers tells us that his mother encouraged him as a child to look for the helpers in the times of tragedy.  We find solace in this idea because it provides a little of that balance that we ache for when our scale has been tipped so severely to the bad.  So regardless of whether you cope by joining a candlelight vigil, writing a poem, or asking people not to explain it as part of a divine plan... it really doesn't matter.  What matters is what you do after that.  What will you do to rebalance the scale?  I truly believe that it is not until you have stepped into the very cavern of Hell, that you long to find a way to reach for the higher realms of Heaven.