The Shape of Me

This song has been in my head a lot recently.  I am continually amazed at those who shape me, my life, and the lives of my children.  Two of my friends called a couple months back and said "How about if we come out around mother's day?"  Ummm... how about absolutely yes??!  I hate that we live so far apart, that our kids don't know each other, and that life flies by us faster than I can keep up with.  So they came.  And we decided to head to the coast for the weekend.  I have another friend, just as wonderful as Dawn and Tiff, who said, "Hey, I would love to keep your kids for you."  She is selfless and generous, and threw my kids right in with hers.  It's hard for me to leave my kids because there are so few people who can manage the little bundle of challenges that come with that task.  So Melissa, thank you, for being one of them.




My life, like all of ours, has been shaped by bumps and challenges.  At every point along the way, there have been people who have helped me figure out who I am, face my fears, embrace my successes.  It is particularly significant to have friends who have known and loved you before and after a major life changing event.  They help you see what you may not have seen before, and help you negotiate meaning in uncertainty.  Friends who do this for you are a blessing. 

As I often point out, I am also fortunate to be married to a man who can hold both my hand and my heart.  There are bumps in this path we walk together, and I would never want to do this without him.  Tonight, I was exhausted.  Three days to catch up with my girlz doesn't lend itself to much sleeping.  I am tired from worrying if my husband will be safe when he travels the roads and air of that God forsaken country.  One of my kids, who held it together like a champ while I took a night away, had to release the anxiety tonight that he'd felt while I was gone, and it wasn't pretty.  I was up late last night in the ER with my little girl, who broke her arm.  In spite of a wonderful 3 days, stuff caught up with me tonight.  And it was hard.  Really hard.  And then he called.  And I felt the shape of us; the shape that is familiar and soothing and fits like no other shape.  He reminds me I am not alone, that I've got all the strength I need in the shape of us.  He shows me how, together, we move through to where we need to be. 

There is good to be found.  It is as real as the hard stuff, and far more worth looking for.  So thanks to my friends, who are so much a part of all that good.  And thank you, Skip, for being the very foundation of all that is good in my life.  We have built our world in the shape of us, and it's really good.